Perhaps it was the reading from 1 Timothy this morning about what a bishop should be like and how a deacon should behave.
Perhaps it's being enrolled in Year 3 of EfM, and reading how repeatedly there were calls from various corners to return to the gospel... only for those in charge to stray away again and become enamored with power and money and bright shiny objects.
Perhaps it's my low-lying irritation with the mantra from those in close rank with the Archbishop of Canterbury that the Anglican Covenant is "the only way forward."
Whatever it is, I know that I am feeling that I've got the Episcoblues.
I used to be one of those who railed against "organized religion" until my mentor told me, "There's nothing organized about religion." True enough. So let me just call it the "institutionalized church".
The Dublin meeting of the Primates showed, once more, that those who would settle for nothing less than heads on the platter of the TEC and Anglican Church of Canada are not interested in reconciliation or communion... or "listening processes"... or anything else, really. They don't like gays. They don't like women. And they won't talk to anyone who doesn't represent "their kind". And yet, this is the group that has had the Anglican Communion twisting itself into knots trying to keep them happy. As part of the contortion posture, the Archbishop of Canterbury keeps pressing the need for an "Anglican" covenant. He insists we find the "common bonds of affection" that unite us. How 'bout faith in God? Belief in the Holy Trinity? Recognizing the grace of God that is there for us and our salvation won through Christ?
Or are those just too common? So common that we have to develop a plan to assert the superiority of some in the Communion over others, and have vague courts of hurt feelings evaluate when a Communion partner has used Scripture, reason and tradition to become a little more inclusive making someone else half-way around the globe pout in his corner, (while ignoring the murders happening right under his nose?)
I look at all of this and shake my head. Then I read about the build up to the German Reformation. Or the various councils in the early church with accusations of heresy flying every which way. And I realize, this institution called "the Church" has been mired and plagued by controversy and upheaval from the time Christ crashed onto the scene to introduce a new thing to the people of Israel.
Either we are slow learners, or we are just numb.
Or maybe it's just human nature to want to harness and control the movement of God in the world. I wish we'd stop. I wish we'd trust more. The writhing of the Communion is giving me stomach cramps!