This really is feeling like liminal time. I don't have a sense of where I am in my journey. Or, probably more accurately, I realize that if I keep moving along a path toward God, my ego is going to get burnt to a crisp in the fire that is forging me into a more complete relationship with the One. I'm also realizing, perhaps because of my mom's stroke, that all that we think is certain or "secure" in life really isn't. That whole notion of "security" is an illusion. Does that mean that I should live my life recklessly. No, I don't think that's it. But I need to abandon the idea that I have any control, and any sense that I have control is, again, an illusion. My part in this life is to show up, stay awake, and follow.
The collect for this time when we're between Christ's Ascension and the "tongues on fire" arrival of the Holy Spirit includes this phrase:
"Do not leave us comfortless..."
Perhaps it should say, "Do not let us fret in our uncomfortable place."