Wake up and LIVE

Supplications and Sodom

2012-01-30T23:55:00.001-05:00

As part of morning prayer, I regularly read the collect of the week, the one from Sunday, as part of my practice. This one asks God to "hear the supplications of your people in our time grant us your peace." An important phrase to have in mind as I encountered the overly-cited story of God destroying the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Ask any gay person about Sodom and Gomorrah, and watch the eyes narrow into a fixed glare and the face harden as he or she braces for the expected diatribe about the "proof" that God hates homosexuality. This story, and the Levitical laws about abominations are the top two portions of the Bible most often used to condemn gays to the outer darkness by those who think they get to sit in the judgment seat of God.

For decades, Sodom and Gomorrah were supposedly about the attempted man-on-man rape of the strangers. At least, that's what the screaming people pounding on their Bibles would yell at me and others as we walked peacefully to classes on our college campus. In reality, the sin of the men in those two doomed cities was what seemed to be a compounded case of failing to welcome the strangers at all which is a huge no-no in Jewish culture. I mean, Lot tells these guys that they needed to take shelter in his house because they weren't safe out on the streets of Sodom. Obviously, the place must have had a reputation for failing to do one of the essentials: see your fellow human being as a being of God's creation. In the past decade, there has been a movement by some in Christendom and our friends in the Jewish tradition to end the myth that this was a story of a wrathful God out to strike down wicked gay people. They have been speaking up more and making efforts to reconcile with the LGBT community that has been so deeply injured by the misunderstanding of the lessons from stories like Sodom and Gomorrah.

This past week, one of the Lutheran churches in Tallahassee put on a lecture series aimed at examining the issues facing the LGBT community. They held the forums in their main sanctuary amidst the altar and the stained glass as discussions about medical issues facing lesbians and transgender people were bandied about and author and Heart Strong founder Marc Adams shared his story of coming out in an extremely fundamentalist family. Religious bigotry was acknowledged as was the realization that some places of worship are extending a welcome to the LGBT community.

May God mercifully hear the supplications of us gay people who seek Christ in peace and grant us the strength and courage to love and serve you in the midst of the noise from those who try to drive us away from you. Amen.

Out of a Death Comes Resolve

2012-01-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, many marked the one year anniversary of the brutal beating death of David Kato Kisuule, the leader of Sexual Minorities Uganda. Sidney Nsubuga Enoch was convicted in November of murdering Kato in his apartment and sentenced to 30 years in prison. The investigation and the trial seemed to be more about perpetuating sterotypes about gays and lesbians than actually punishing someone for swinging a hammer into the head of this gay activist. The prosecutor reportedly made much of Nsubuga's claim that he killed Kato because he said Kato was trying to push him into having sex.

Kato's murder outraged many of us in the LGBT international community. We who pay attention to not only the "gay news" but also the "Anglican news" were all-too-aware of the dangers facing Kato and others in Uganda as the church and state conspired to craft the noxious Anti-homosexual legislation, which threatens execution of LGBT people and severe punishment for anyone who doesn't report someone who is lesbian or gay to the authorities. There were emails, phone calls, and letters sent to the secular and religious leaders of the world to speak out against this atrocity occuring on the African continent. When Kato, an outspoken and visible member of Uganda's LGBTI community was executed, our concerns were sadly realized, and it ratched it up the global concern.

We must remain aware of the precarious position African LGBT people face. They're lives are in real jeopardy. They face imprisonment, beatings, and lesbians in particular are often victims of what some call "corrective" rape.

U.S. Secretary of State Hilary Clinton this fall took a huge step up to tell the international community it is time to protect LGBT people from discrimination and the lynch mob mentality that comes with such legislation as was proposed in Uganda. If only now our religious leaders would be equally as bold!

Addicted to Hate

2012-01-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

The late singer Robert Palmer hit it big on the pop charts in the 1980s with a song called, "Addicted to Love" which had the refrain, "Might as well face it your addicted to love."

But this week, I am seeing evidence of an addiction not to love, but to love's opposite, hate.

There was the story out of central Arkansas of the man managing a Democratic congressional candidate's campaign against a Tea Party Republican who came home with his children one evening to find the family's pet cat hanging on the porch. The killers left their calling card on the animal's corpse by scrawling "Liberal" in black permanent marker on the dead cat's side.

There was the way House Majority leader Eric Cantor went from wrinkled brow to sly smirk during the State of the Union address last night. A smirk that conveyed what was likely going through his head as the President pushed for Congress to stop stalling on his plans to help create more long-term jobs in this country; namely, "Yeah, right, Nobama! Ain't gonna happen!"

There were the homophobic and Christian-bashing comments that are now associated with a video that I made a few years ago. If I were my teen-age self, I might have been crushed but some of the name-calling. But I'm an adult and I know most people who comment on the internet using a pseudonym are cowards and desperate for attention. Especially a pseudonym like "TrustinJesus." I do trust in Jesus; hence--like the Ziggy Marley song says--"I don't condemn, I don't convert." I don't have to because that's the role of God, not me. I am supposed to reflect God's love and allow it to flow through me to others. But it's the Love that works on the individual's heart and mind that will do the condemning and converting.

That's what happened with Paul. Today was the day we celebrated his conversion to Christianity, a truly remarkable story of a man addicted to hating those who professed Christ as the Messiah who encounters Christ on the road to Damascus and is turned around for good... which wasn't just good, it was great! Paul is one of the first to experience the risen Christ, and that encounter led to him becoming one of the early church's evangelists-extraordinaire. He started churches, and wrote letters, and became an advocate for spreading this message of Love to the Gentile population. Paul went from being addicted to his hatred to inescapably in Love. He was redeemed, and his redemption tells a story of how powerful Love can be.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Darkness can not drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that." That certainly seems to be true. And the only answer to those who are seemingly addicted to their hatred and distrust everyone and everything is to continue responding in love, knowing that there will be a price to pay for that.

And God Changed His Mind

2012-01-22T01:24:00.001-05:00

Some people have power animals. I have a power prophet.   And my power prophet is not one of the big stars of the Bible like Moses or Isaiah or even the oh, so bemoaning Jeremiah.

My power prophet is Jonah.

Yeah, I know. He's a bit of a coward and a fool and a pouter and a drama queen.   Hence, he is incredibly real to me.  His reluctance to go to Nineveh and tell them that they're on a road to destruction and his running the other way when God tells him which direction to go all speaks to things that resonate with me. I'm in touch with my inner Jonah.   And I would be willing to bet that most people out there who call themselves followers of Christ are also familiar with their inner Jonah.

Jonah does eventually succumb and trudges in to Nineveh after his high seas adventures in the belly of a big fish, and does as God commands. He tells them that they have 40 days before God lowers the boom and wipes them out. Jonah expects the Ninevehites to ignore this news and continue behaving in ways that will bring about their certain demise. But it doesn't happen. The Ninevehites hear Jonah's words, take them to heart, fast, and they turn their lives around. And then, an incredible thing happens...

When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.

God changed his mind. At least, that's how the writer of the Book of Jonah describes it. Since the destruction did NOT happen, God must have changed his mind. Or perhaps it's that the people of Nineveh, having turned from their purported wickedness, no longer needed a God-whooping.   And perhaps it's not so much that God changed his mind, but the people of Nineveh came back to God.

In my own experience, I have come to know God as one who is the constant and unchanging undercurrent in the world. There is always a pulsing steady beat, like a heart, that tha-thumps the same song day-in and day-out to let us know that Love is always present if we will stop listening to our own monkey minds and pick up its rhythm. I believe that is the rhythm that captured the attention of the disciples as they dropped their day-to-day habits and chores to follow Jesus as he spread the message of Love to a people desperate to hear that good news.   They felt that beat and they wanted to dance to it.

Now, if you listen to some, especially during this political silly season in the states, there is a feeling that we in this country have "forgotten God" and we, like the people of Nineveh, need to repent.  The ones sounding this alarm are often those who identify as "evangelical Christians" and, as evangelists, they believe it is their duty to take on that Jonah role, screw up their courage, and tell us all how debase and horrible we are and it's time to get on our knees and pray to God.   I agree: when we make laws that punish the children of illegal immigrants and make it impossible for those kids to obtain citizenship, and when we continue to fight over whether LGBT people should be allowed to get married, and when we blithly go along with the idea that our healthcare delivery system is the best in the world, even though millions of Americans can't afford the insurance to access that system, then--yes--I think we need to ask God to forgive us our sins that we are committing against God and each other. Because when we intentionally inflict pain and suffering on those who are a minority or in need, then we are persecuting God. Remember Matthew 25? "What you did to the least of these you have done to me"?

Oh, wait: I think the things that I believe are reasons to repent are not the same ones that the "evangelical Christians" have in mind. Oh, no: I think the things that I say are wrong in this country are the things that "they" tend to think are right. Uh-oh! We're at odds! What are we to do?

We could fall back on our inner Jonah. Jonah sulked and pouted when God didn't destory Nineveh. Afterall, he hadn't run so fast and furious in the other direction only to wind up in the city to do what he was told to do to then see that nothing bad happens to the Ninevehites. This was supposed to be doomsday.   And since things didn't turn out as he wanted, he sits down and pouts and is angry at God for ruining the fun.  Sounds like the type of response one so invested in a particular outcome, like a political issue, would have. But God answers Jonah's pouting and kvetching with a shade bush to keep him comfortable as he grumbled. Jonah was happy to have that to protect him from the heat of the sun. Once he was satisfied, God took Jonah's shade bush away by means of a worm, and a sultry wind blew on him making him swelter. Now Jonah was angry again.

God said to Jonah, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?’ And he said, ‘Yes, angry enough to die.’Then the Lord said, ‘You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labour and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night.And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?’ --Jonah 4:9-11

Who has the ultimate say here? Us or God? Like Jonah, we want to have the last word and be in control of all things and have justice meted out in a way that pleases us. But that isn't always go to be the case. The rhythm that beats and moves this world and calls people to join in the dance is setting the tempo of change, growth and evolution of our minds and nature. Any repentance, or rethinking as I like to call it, will happen at the time when it needs to happen.  And if something is out-of-sync with that rhythm, the correction will happen. This should be the hope of all people who follow Christ, and it takes the same faith and trust exhibited by those disciples who dropped their lives to tag along after Jesus to trust that God will work God's purpose out.   God will have the final say, and the last dance. And that is something God won't change God's mind about.

The Jester Did It!

2012-01-20T21:24:00.000-05:00

For all those who have ever wondered why people are gay.....

No Partiality: The Confession of St. Peter

2012-01-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

These lines from the Book of Acts were like a balm to my ears this morning:

‘I truly understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him.

This is Peter professing, or confessing, the great "a-ha!" that says it is God who is the host of the banquet and it is God who invites us to the party, and in God's own way, we will likely find ourselves sitting next to people at the table who we surely thought were not going to be there with us. Republicans and Democrats will be made to break bread with Independents. Gays and straights will be bumping elbows and immigrants of all kinds will be clinking glasses with natives. All because, when offered the invitation to this party, they said "Yes."

This is not an exclusive club as some have tried to make it out to be. And it's not some dry boring no-fun-at-all kind of party either. It is the party called life. It is abundant, eternal, and the music plays on and on. We can either get up and dance to the beat, or sit it out in the corners of the room. If we leave the dance hall and slam the door behind us, that's when we've lost out. Lots of people do that, and it's a shame. The good news is that the band doesn't stop playing just because some don't want to stick around to listen.

Some folks can get hung up on the term "fearing God."

"Why would I want to worship a God that wants me to be afraid?"

It's not that we are "afraid" in that way that we might fear an axe-wielding murderer or a sadistic and abusive parent. "Fear," in this sense, is to be in awe, or totally wowed, or left dumb-struck because you just can't believe how God can be so good. It's in this place that any of us, and in this case Peter, are left slack-jawed and saying, "OK, this is amazing!" Peter, who had up to this point thought that God and Jesus were just for the Jewish people who kept kosher, now knows that God intends this message of Love to extend further. And--yes, Peter--you can eat the shrimp!

It's an eye-opener for Peter, and it continues to open the eyes of many in the world to the knowledge that there is a Love that is universal and desires to be one with us in our lives as shown by the one sent to live and die as one of us and deliver us the invitation. All we have to do is say, "Yes" and let the party get started.

Almighty Father, who inspired Simon Peter, first among the apostles, to confess Jesus as Messiah and Son of the Living God: Keep your Church steadfast upon the rock of this faith, that in unity and peace we may proclaim the one truth and follow the one Lord, our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.

Rock on!

Appreciating the Rev. Dr. MLK, Jr.

2012-01-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

Being in Year 4 of Education for Ministry, I am in the midst of reading short snippets about the lives and introspection of philosphers and theologians of mostly the 18th-20th century. Some of the material doesn't feel like enough for me, and so I have gone back to my old college textbooks on philosophy to find other writings to help fill in gaps.   Yes, I do have my textbook still from my senior-level philosophy class at the University of Missouri. For reasons that I can't explain now, I remembered thinking that I wanted to hold on to the book because I thought it might be useful in the future. How prophetic, right?
When I opened the book, what fell out were the photocopies of Jesus' sermon on the mount from Matthew's gospel and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. The assignment had been to do a comparison of the two texts and discuss them in class. I never spoke in that class. Instead, I sat on the back row trying as best as I could to make sense of Satre and Kant and taking in the existential angst of the philosophy majors on the front row. But then we had this assignment. And as I read the two pieces, I was fascinated by the way King really had used the rhetorical style of the man he called "Savior" to bring the basic understanding of the Gospel message to a practical, and important, political and cultural point.
As always, I sat on the back row in that class, figuring I would just stay mum and let the budding philosophers give us all the meaning of these two speeches. But I was stunned and shocked when one of them, the guy with the scruffy beard and long hair and pasty white skin, opined that there was no comparison between the two.
My hand shot up, and the professor looked like he'd been zapped by an electric shock.
"Yes?" he called on me to speak. And spoke I did!
"Oh, there is sooo much here!" And I rattled off all the rhetorical points that seemed to line up with each other, the repetition of the phrase "I have a dream" and "Blessed are the fill-in-the-blanks." And, looking at those on the front row,  I noted, "Dr. King was a preacher. Of course, he would have known this stuff and been influenced by it!"
I find very often that the "Reverend" part of Dr. King's title is often overlooked. As we come to have the annual celebration of a man noted for his impassioned speeches and crusades for civil rights for African Americans, there seems to be a lack of appreciation for where that passion was grounded. Rev. Dr. King was about truly living the values of Christianity, and it was his Christianity that guided him to the place of knowing that his efforts were absolutely right, just, fair and of God. Why then are people so reluctant to make that part of his title?
It seems to stem from the idea that someone like a King and the ideas that he advocated transcend all labels and markers that set him apart from other religions. In fact, the Rev. Dr. King's ethic of non-violence was learned from one of his top assistants in the civil rights struggle, a gay man named Bayard Rustin, who spent time in India learning from the master, Mahatmas Gandhi.  So, yes, King was influenced by practices outside of Christianity and by Rustin who, at that time, was reviled by most in the civil rights struggle as a "pervert" because of his homosexuality.   Rustin may have kept a low-profile, but his savvy helped King lead.
The fact that King kept Rustin as an advisor and was willing to learn from a Gandhi, shows him to be a broadminded person. And being broadminded is not contradictory to being Christian. In fact, Christians should strive to be open-minded and curious and willing to learn from what others can teach them. That is part of being able to see God in action in the world today.

God's Glory in the Body

2012-01-15T23:50:00.000-05:00

I was scheduled to lead the Prayers of the People this morning, which I did. However, as is the case at times when you serve as a Eucharistic Minister at the 11:15, you are drafted to read a lesson... or two! Luckily, I was only asked to read the second lesson which was from 1 Corinthians. And, as I discovered, it was an example of God's choreography putting together an interesting dance. Put aside all of Paul's prelude to his complaint about fornication, he gets to a point that I was thinking about on the way to church this morning.

[Or] do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body. --1 Cor. 6:12-20

I note, this statement of Paul's comes after the verses so oft quoted at me (yes, at me) about who will inherit the kingdom of God. It's usually a biblical literalist-type who likes to latch on to Paul's laundry list of the "unwelcome" so they can tell me and the others like me why we're not worthy. Of course, one of the other readings today was Psalm 139, which negates all the noise of the literalists with the overwhelming message that "God made me, loves me, and I can't get away from that Love no matter what I do." So much for being unwelcomed!

The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you. And I say, "Amen and amen!" to that statement. This is why taking care of the body and loving the body is important and--yes--holy. This is what I try to communicate with my clients every day. Massage therapy is much more than just "bodywork." It is soul work. It is the maintenance of the temple that houses the spirit within. So, when I hear Paul say, "Glorify God in your body," I hear him saying, "Get a massage!" Take care of yourself, and don't abuse this body that you have. Because proper care of your body is also a way of being a steward of what God has given to you. It's not just your money. It's not just how you treat the others sharing this planet with you (people, plants and animals). Are you eating foods that can then be generated into energy for the cells of your muscles, or are you eating empty calories off the fast food menu all the time?

If we treat the body well, the spirit within will thrive. Get a massage. Drink a smoothie. Feel better in your skin, bones and muscles... and your spirit will be lighter.

The Right-wing Boycott of Thin Mints

2012-01-13T00:16:00.000-05:00

I am not a fan of the Girl Scouts of America. Not that I think there is anything wrong with the organization necessarily, but I had a pretty lousy experience in my youth with scouting. Our camping trip had to end early because it was cold, raining and miserable. The one thing I learned as a Brownie (the precursor to Girl Scouts) was a legal term: embezzlement. It's a noun that can be used in the sentence: "Susan's scout leader was arrested on charges of embezzlement when the cops discovered she'd taken all the Girl Scout Cookie money collected by her troop."

Didn't make scouting a particularly fun experience for me.

But I like the cookies: Thin Mints, Tagalongs, Do-Si-Does. And they make some good shortbread and lemon cookies, too. When I worked in radio, me and my colleagues would buy boxes and boxes of cookies as comfort food during the legislative session. They went really well with coffee or tea.

And it's that time of year again when the young girls and usually one or two moms will set up shop outside a grocery store to help drive down the sales of Pepperidge Farm and Keebler with those enticing boxes of cookies.

So, it was a bit alarming to see the video circulating on the internet made by a 14-year-old girl in Ventura County, California urging the public to boycott the Girl Scouts of America cookie drive.

Her name is Taylor, and she's on a tear about the Girl Scouts of America's policy that allows transgender children into scouting.   In a seven-plus-minute video, Taylor manages to rattle off some of the most offensive nonsense and anti-trans propaganda that is out there.   She worries about the sleep-overs if there is a boy who identifies as a girl allowed to be in the sleeping quarters. She equates this to allowing a male chaperon in the cabin with the young girls. Because those two scenarios are, of course, the same... NOT.   She worries that the GSA policy toward trans children, adopted when a Colorado child who is MTF asked to join the Girl Scouts, is undermining the sanctity of this "all-girl" organization.   And, after watching all seven minutes and 55 seconds of this scripted and nauseating diatribe, she directs the viewers to HonestGirlScouts.com, where you can join in the boycott of Girl Scout cookies and read more anti-LGBT, anti-abortion material. Yes, a 14 year-old is a cynical front for right-wing homophobia and bigotry.

The video has now been made "private" meaning that only the select (or is that "the elect"?) can see it. That's fine. This kind of unwanted bashing of the trans community needn't be spread around.  Especially since Taylor's crucifix is so prominently displayed around her neck. Just what Christianity doesn't need: another person claiming the mantle of Christ and then mangling the message to the point of it being unrecognizable as they take another swing at the LGBT community.

Unfortunately for Taylor and her mommy and daddy who likely supported her in this effort, I and many others have now been inspired to add another box of GSA cookies to our shopping lists. Just what my waistline didn't need!

Too Much Tebow

2012-01-09T23:38:00.001-05:00

Americans love their football, but the worship of a mere mortal as the "Mile High Messiah" makes me want to dump chicken wings and beer all over those who genuflect at the altar of the pigskin.

It hit a new low when I saw the article speculating about the numbers Denver quarterback Tim Tebow posted in Sunday's wild card playoff game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.   Tebow passed for 316 yards.
He set a playoff record with an average of 31.6 yards completed. And the TV rating for CBS at the time of the amazing one-play, one-80-yard TD pass: 31.6.   These numbers apparently set the wacky wheels in motion: 3:16... as in John 3:16, a favorite of football fans bent on holding proselytizing posters for the TV cameras at football games.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son to the end that all shall not perish, but have everlasting life."   That's your John 3:16.   It occurs in a heady exchange between Jesus and Nicodemus. And they were not talking about an American football game!

I am beyond fed up with the hype around Tebow and his one-knee-to-the-ground-head-on-curled-fist showmanship of prayer. I am also annoyed that if one criticizes this overblown posing in prayer some will accuse you of being "anti-Christian."   On the contrary, I am Christian and Christian enough to know that Jesus isn't the reason for the football season, and doesn't favor one player or team over another. And looking for signs in statistics? Oh, puh-leeze!

I am a New England Patriots fan. Our team got off to a slow start against the Denver Broncos last month in their regular season match up.   Hopefully, they won't need to wait so long to bring Tim Tebow back to earth and remind him that there is one Son of God... and it's not him.

Baptism and All That Goes With It

2012-01-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

The Baptism of Christ by Giotto di Bondone

Today, we marked the baptism of Christ. The Holy Spirit descends like a dove from heaven as Christ is emerging from the water, and he hears the voice saying, "This is my Son with whom I am well pleased."

Most of us don't get to hear that voice. Most of us, if we are Episcopalians, were baptized when we were infants and the only thing we might have heard was our own screaming as the priest dribbled water on our heads in the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit. But implicit in that moment of our own baptism is the same absolute and total love of God for who we are, who we were and who we will be. No booming voice, and no dove, but the same sentiment is expressed for each of us. It was noted by the rector of St. John's this morning in his sermon that nothing separates us from the love of Christ. Nothing.

After this period of experiencing death upon death in the lives of my friends, I am keenly aware of this connection between baptism in this life and the resurrection that comes at the end of life in this realm. One of the things I appreciated in the Roman Catholic funeral service I attended was the explanation that the white pall laid over the cremated ashes of my friend's mother was a symbolic connection to her baptismal gown she no doubt wore when she was a baby. It was a visual reminder that the resurrection is like the baptism into the next adventure and the continuation of our life in Christ. We go on... only without a body.

So what are we doing with this life while we are in the body and existing between the two poles of baptism and resurrection? When we are baptized, our body becomes connected with many others. We are brought into a larger community with its different members, each of us making a contribution to this body of humanity. Part of what we must do is to be aware of those other moving and growing parts of the body. That's more than just within the church community. It's looking at what's happening in our cities and townships and responding to people who may be hurting or in need, as well as celebrating triumphs and joys. The body isn't just the body of our churches. It's everyone we are in contact with in the world. It's about understanding how what we throw in the garbage can has a potential effect on our planet. It's about how and where we spend our money effects our neighbors both inside and outside the city limits. And it's about living. Living fully, and as people who are free and very worthy of love. When we live that way, we are more able to love that way. And when we love that way, we are more reflective of the light of the Divine Love.

Baptism not only marks as Christ's own forever; baptism requires us to live and love as Christ's own. Forever. Nothing can separate us from this love, so let's ride the wave and share our selves with those around us.

The Epiphany of Aging Parents: Marion, Edna, Jacques, and Richard

2012-01-06T05:44:00.044-05:00

Above is a picture of Marion Kelley Nudd who, at 93, decided it was time to take the ride of her life in a helicopter over Orlando. A few days after this picture was taken, she died of a stroke with her family around her, including her youngest daughter and my friend, Donna. Marion's funeral is this morning.
Her death comes a month after Donna's partner, Terry, lost her own mother, the feisty and funny Edna Geneva Galloway. Terry and her sisters were with their mother as she slipped away following surgery to unclog the arteries in her neck.
Both of these ladies now join the communion of saints... which includes Jacques, father of my friend Beatrice who died in France this fall. And before them was Richard, father of my friend, Dona, who passed away on this date one year ago, a fitting date for a King of a man.
I know what it means to lose a parent. My dad died in 2007, and my partner's father, Arthur, died a little over a year later. Even when your parents are showing signs of decline, there is an eerie feeling of being un-anchored from the dock when death finally happens.
And still, there is life that comes out of a death. I sensed that even though my father was no longer here with me in this realm, there was something more that came afterward for him. What it was, I had no idea. I just was left with a sense of growth and grace that said this cycle of loss really was OK. And most importantly, living on earth was also OK; better than OK. Because the freedom I felt that was there for my father was also available in a different way for me now. That's the taste of God that is eternal life.
Happy Epiphany.

Prayers Ascending for Friends... Again

2012-01-03T22:09:00.001-05:00

This has been a rough several weeks for my corner of the city. Last month, my friend Terry's mom, Edna, died following surgery in Texas. This morning, my phone rang. It was Terry.

Her partner's mother, Marion, was dying. She'd had a massive stroke early this morning. They kept her alive on a ventilator for a few hours, allowing family to gather and the last rites. And then she passed away.

The wonderful thing for Marion is that she went out flying high... literally. Just a few days ago, this 93-year-old lady boarded a helicopter to get an aerial tour of Orlando. Life was an adventure and full of family for her all the way to the end. And that's the kind of life we should all hope to lead.

R.I.P. Marion. And prayers ascending for Donna and her siblings, and their loving husbands, wives, partners and children.

The Ordinariate Arrives in America. Yawn!

2012-01-03T00:05:00.000-05:00

Somewhere... Queen "Bloody" Mary Tudor is laughing.

The Roman Catholic Church, in a move of tremendous concern for the well-being of distressed Episcopalians, has launched a new nationwide diocese that will allow disaffected priests, bishops and congregations of the Episcopal Church, to join the Roman Catholic Church. The upside for these Exopalians is that the Vatican will allow their married clergy to remain betrothed, and the Pope has said they can use "cherished" passages from the Book of Common Prayer. The headquarters for this Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter, is in Houston, Texas.

I would say, "Houston, we've got a problem," except I don't think we do. Those who are leaving the Episcopal Church are the malcontent mumbling grumblers who have no use for women in ministry which always begets a string of complaints about LGBT people in the church. These are people who have been miserable as the Spirit has directed the Episcopal church to open its doors to more people and be the fully inclusive love of Christ in our world. They are the ones who bristle at the idea that the bishop standing before them in what is essentially a dress may actually be wearing a dress underneath those vestments. That part of the Baptismal Covenant that talks about respecting the dignity of every human being has challenged them one too many times to face the undeniable truth that the word, "every" means... well... "every."

England has already been through this. And it didn't make the Archbishop particularly pleased.

Some may want to crow that this is "proof" that the Episcopal Church is dying, but I predict this will be the beginning of a renewed interest in the church of Richard Hooker's Scripture, reason and tradition that didn't get frozen in the 1928 prayer book, and welcomes anyone wanting to think about what is it that Christ is calling us to do in the world now and put that mission into action.

Good-bye, Exopalians. We'll leave the lights on for you should you change your mind.

Good-Bye 2011

2011-12-31T20:06:00.000-05:00

We are into the final hours of 2011, and I can't say that I'm going to be sorry to see it end. It's been a rough year for us in Tallahassee, FL, with the beginning of the Governor Lord Voldemort administration. The slash and burn that happened with several state government agencies has left many in this town tired, burnt out and bitter heading into 2012.

On the upside, many of us are still smiling over the victory for marriage in New York, and the official end of Don't Ask Don't Tell (not to mention the end of U.S. military presence in Iraq).

And I am personally sensing a shift in our culture, as well as parts of the Episcopal Church, away from the "culture wars" that put LGBT people constantly in the crossfire. TEC will be looking at adopting language for same-sex wedding blessings and the overwhelming opinion of many who I've talked to is that this will happen at General Convention this summer in Indianapolis. Once it does, those jurisdictions where marriage for LGBT is legal will finally be allowed to offer a marriage blessing if the couple so chooses. That's huge! It won't mean a thing for those of us in Florida. But it will add to the burden of those who keep wanting to put up barriers to the full participation of LGBT people in the life of the church.

So, there's much to look forward to in 2012. It's a presidential election year and the Republicans have been putting on quite the reality TV show with their candidates. Who knows which one of the wackadoodles will emerge as their nominee. In the meantime, will Democrats stick with their man Obama, or will they stay home pouting that he wasn't the Messiah after all? I have wanted more from Obama, too. But as I noted back in 2008, it didn't matter who came into the White House; that person was going to be saddled with a mess thanks to Dumbya.

I hope that for all of you, 2012 holds much hope, grace, and prosperity. Cheers!

Occupy In My Brain

2011-12-30T10:35:00.001-05:00

I've grown accustomed to getting roused out of sleep by a song in my head. Normally, it's something out of the Episcopal Hymnal. Sometimes it's one of the many New Age pieces that play as I do my massage therapy practice. But yesterday, I woke up on a tune by the Talking Heads that I hadn't heard in years. I knew it was from their first album. I knew it was the end of Side A. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember the name of the tune.

Internet to the rescue!

I remembered the lyrics...

In a world... where people have problems.

In this world... where decisions are a way of life.

Other people's problems... they overwhelm my mind.

They say compassion is a virtue... but I don't have the time.

The song is called, "No Compassion" written by David Byrne. And it seemed to be speaking to me about many things in my life, particularly as I observe the life outside my own internal experience.

That has seemed to be the theme for me leading into this Christmas season: a need to move outside of my own experience and take on what's in the world. All during the last week in Advent I was getting poked and prodded by a different song, one from our hymnal, in which the angel Gabriel delivers the news that Mary is to bear the Son of God because she is the "most highly favored Lady, Gloria!" Mary's willingness to take on this task was a not-too-subtle message of pushing me forward in this magical mystery tour with God. And part of that is to acknowledge where we are, and where I am and stand, in this mucked-up mess of the world.

Inequity is everywhere. And those in power seem to stop at nothing to keep their lock down on having more resources than anyone else and keeping control. That seems to be the challenge now rising up from the Occupy Wall Street and its spawn of Occupy movements across the country. A cry has been heard in the wilderness that too many of us have been forced to live by the seat of our pants while a small minority continuously reap the benefits of tax breaks and subsidies. The OWS grew despite a weeks long media black out about what was happening in New York City. And while their encampments have been closed down in many locations, and there's a struggle over property rights in NYC with Trinity Wall Street, there is a new consciousness that I believe may have the defenders of the super-rich (aka the Republican Party) feeling just a tad bit nervous going into the 2012 elections. I think the challenge for OWS will be to maintain its water-like ways of simply migrating and moving without disbanding and funnel its revolt into a juggernaut that isn't so much about occupying physical spaces, but changing the psychological space in the minds of the American public.

In some communities, that has happened. Occupiers took over homes that had been foreclosed on by the banks. And the displaced families were amazed to see total strangers taking a stand with them. These are the seeds that build the relationships that I think are being lost in our hyperspeed information age. And this is how the 99-percent can finally come together to become a political force.

What does any of this have to do with "No Compassion?" I think it comes back to my overall observation of the world. There isn't a whole lot of compassion out there, or if there is, it's not being expressed out of being overwhelmed by the hugeness of the compassion void. And that's why each of us has to act and respond to a call of compassion. Put aside differences and work with each other.

Here we go again...

The First Martyrs: Feast of the Holy Innocents

2011-12-28T11:48:00.039-05:00

This is the feast day that always leaves me a little stunned. Today we are remembering the 20-30 young boys age two and under who were slaughtered in Herod's attempt to eliminate his potential rival, the Christ child. It is an example of when those in power become so threatened that they go to the extremes to take down any and all that might threaten their power.

From my queer perspective, I see this play out in the various amendments and bills that get passed to prevent LGBT people from having full participation in society. When I think back on the passage of Amendment Two, the anti-gay marriage amendment to Florida's constitution, I see that as a cynical and desperate move by the religious right to end any marriage rights we gay people might gain in the future before we even had a chance to ask for them here. They have seen the handwriting on the wall and they know that the younger generations are not interested in continuing their all out assault on LGBT people.

I see it also in Africa where LGBT people live under the threat of imprisonment and death for being who they are. Christians, who are facing threats from radical Muslims, then turn on LGBT people in a sickening cycle of violence, either committing hate crimes against gays or attempting to pass legislation making our mere assembly illegal. How quickly have they forgotten what is in this morning's gospel message from Matthew:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”He called a child, whom he put among them,and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.--Matt 18: 1-6

On this feast day, let's remember those who are victims of violence and degradation both through fists and public policy. And let us recommit ourselves to work for justice and peace and against the forces of hatred and homophobia.

For the Love of God: The Feast of St. John

2011-12-27T12:04:00.039-05:00

Shed upon your Church, O Lord, the brightness of your light; that we, being illumined by the teaching of your apostle and evangelist John, may so walk in the light of your truth, that at length we may attain to the fullness of eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

I used to not like John the Evangelist. Besides Paul, John's Gospel has the oft-cited passages that have been used to advance a certain kind of Christian bigotry that is obnoxious at its best; dangerous at its worst.

But John is also credited for giving us these words of Jesus:

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.’--John 13:24-35

This new commandment is in fact the main point of all of Jesus' teachings. It is also the one thing that we seem to have the most difficulty doing. It seems, too, that the higher up you move in the church hierarchy, the more this kind of love seems elusive. I saw headline the other day that the bishops in Sudan are snubbing the primate of this country, Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori. How pathetic and sad! I'm sure that the youngest of the disciples, the one who reclined next to Jesus at the Last Supper, would be jerking himself upright and admonishing those who refuse communion with a fellow member in the body of Christ to remember the words of their Savior: Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.

On this feast day, let love be the focus and the centerpoint from which we live and move and have our being.

Praying for Enemies: Feast of St. Stephen

2011-12-26T19:49:00.000-05:00

While they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he died. --Acts 7: 59-60

In this period of the Twelve Days of Christmas, we come across stories such as the one of Stephen, thought to be the first martyr and certainly one of the first deacons of the Church. He was one of seven who was deputized by the apostles simply because they couldn't do all of the 'hands on' work that was required in those early days, most especially paying attention to the widows among the Greeks as well as the Jews. Stephen was chosen for being full of faith and the spirit. And it was this commitment and witness that led to his public stoning.

When I first became aware that Stephen was a representative of the office of deacon, it made me think: "Oh, so that's what happens to those in the diaconate!"

OK... so they don't usually get stoned to death. But a work of a deacon is one which, as best as I can figure out, is that of the unsung hero. They occupy this place between being "clergy" and "laity". All priests have to go through a period where they are in the "transitional" diaconate before they are made priests in the church. Some in the priesthood remember what it is to be in this role of being in the trenches with the people in the servant mode, and they carry it forward into their new life as the administrator and preacher. I've always appreciated priests who don't lose that part of their calling. They always seem to be the most real people to me.

Stephen's death also marks a major moment in the history of Christianity because of the witness of Paul (called Saul) to his stoning. Saul was encouraging of this violence and made it his mission to persecute people who were followers of "The Way." I have often wondered if watching this death and seeing Stephen turn his face to God and call out for God to have mercy didn't have an unconscious effect on his enemy. Could this event have penetrated a portion of Saul's soul? Was death Stephen's ultimate act of bringing the love of Christ that much closer to one who hated the followers of Christ? It's not explained that way in the Scripture, but I often wonder if that wasn't part of the unspoken context of Luke including this note about Saul in the story of Stephen's death.

Given the news out of Nigeria yesterday where Islamic extremists bombed five churches during Christmas Day, remembering the martyrdom of Stephen and his untold effect on Paul may be a good thing to contemplate before we call for revenge and reprisal. Justice must be served by the civil authorities in that country. But the justice that comes from above needs to be left for God to mete out. Ours is to ask for that justice to come to those who have been attacked.

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love
our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth:
deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in
your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you,
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.--BCP, pg. 816

A Dibley Christmas

2011-12-25T13:19:00.000-05:00

I'm taking it easy and allowing Dawn French as the Vicar of Dibley to tell you why this day is so special. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

Vicar of Dibley - The Greatest Story Ever Told by BBCfanable

What Will Separate Us From Love?

2011-12-24T18:06:00.000-05:00

Last night at our service for Comfort and Healing, I was assigned to read the passage from Romans 8 which I believe is one of the most powerful statements Paul makes in his letters:

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I read this passage aloud, I felt as though my voice was being carried from my toes up through my mouth and filling the entire space with words that put in a sentence the beauty of our celebration tonight.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, separates us from the Love that will come down to us as a baby in the manger. The Love that is wrapped in swaddling clothes may be tiny tonight, but this child is the beginning of a new ethic and a new way of living with each other that is stronger than anything Wall Street brokers, or Republican Presidential candidates can throw at us. Because this Love knows no boundaries and will topple tyranny and burst open any prison which tries to hold it back. That was definitely the feeling I had running through my body as I read those words.

O come let us adore him. Let us not just adore, but truly welcome this Love into our lives.

Today, my buddy King, the Jehovah's Witness, was back on my doorstep (of course, it's Christmas Eve so why wouldn't he be?!) King wanted to know if I believed that there would be peace on Earth (obviously trying to tap into my celebration of the season).

"Well, I sure hope so! That's what I am hoping for."

"That won't happen through man."

"No, I don't think man alone will make that happen. But with God's help, I think we can do it... if we commit ourselves to living in that way to bring about peace."

King wasn't convinced by my argument, and when he started telling me about the 144-thousand who will reign as basically a sub-level of the heavenly kingdom, I had lost interest in him, too.

But I do believe that we have a role to play in bringing about a kingdom on Earth that more closely resembles the kingdom in Heaven. It requires us to tap into those lessons that Christ, the child, will be teaching in the coming weeks. The cornerstone of that teaching is Love: love each other, love ourselves, and in so doing, we are loving God. When we treat each other and ourselves with dignity we are exhibiting the kind of love God claims for God's self. This is how I believe we all end up in God's camp... whether we are believers who offer praise to God or not. God wins. Again.

What separates us from this Love? Nobody. Nothing. It is persistent and patient beyond measure.

O come let us adore him!

Winding Down Advent

2011-12-22T23:46:00.000-05:00

As I listened to the collect for 4 Advent this morning, I found my mind sticking to the phrase that we pray Jesus, "... may find in us a mansion prepared for himself."

A mansion is a much different image than a manger with farm animals!

The whole idea of Advent is to prepare us for the re-entry of Christ into the world, or at least into the world of our Scripture and the church. Whether Christ arrives in the world as we know it in the day-to-day 21st century is more a matter for us and our willingness to let this Love we encounter in our churches be the guide for us in our every day living. It's easy to relegate this Love to an hour on Sunday mornings. Certainly, that's how I lived for years. God came down to be with us for an hour and fifteen minutes every week.   The rest of the time, God was on a shelf somewhere and was unconcerned about the welfare of the world.

Not.

It's a very powerful Love that is coming. Even John the Baptizer warns it's the sort of Love that is bigger than anything he was doing. When this Love enters the picture, the ordinary and predictable becomes a wild and crazy ride. It is a persistent and patient Love that nudges and pokes and leads us toward justice... whether we want to go along or not. That is what this Love demands.

And it arrives in the form of a baby. A very human-looking baby born through the very human birth canal of a very human teenaged mother who ponders everything in her heart.  A Love this extraordinary, so awesome that John tells everyone, "I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal" is just a very ordinary looking baby boy. I think that's the point of our Christian story. Christ shows up in the ordinary form to unleash an extraordinary, counter-cultural Love on the scene. Not through flashy shows of power and might.  He does it through being and living in Love and out of Love for all he encounters.   This is the expectation placed on all of us who pray the Nicene Creed.   Today, we are the ordinary who carry in us the extraordinary ability to live and be as we have been taught by Christ.

The question is what kind of a mansion do we have to offer this Christ ?  Is it one that is locked away in a gated community of "me, myself and I"? Is it one that locks the doors and windows so as to keep out any attempts to get to know us? Does it come with a vault where we store away all our belongings, valuables, money and a bomb shelter where we can be ready to survive "the end times"? Does it come with blinds and shutters so we don't have to see what is "out there" that might disturb and disquiet our peace of mind?

The thing is that if we actually allow Christ to be the resident in the mansion, the deadbolts and chains on the doors will come off. And no matter how many times we pull the blinds closed, they will be opened and we will not be allowed to hide out in this palatial dwelling of comfort and joy.

Christ came into the world... and comes into our mansion... not to destroy the peace, but to make it spread farther and farther beyond a finite point in time and space. We are the means to allow that peace to touch more lives and more places in this world of the 21st century. Unlock the doors and open the windows. Now is the time to let the light of Christ shine forth through each of us.

Glory to God whose power working in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine. Glory to God from generation to generation in the church and Christ Jesus forever and ever. Amen.

OWS: Whoo-Boy!

2011-12-17T23:28:00.001-05:00

photo by Episcopal Cafe, New York.

I remember Spike Lee's film, "Do The Right Thing." I remember the way tensions were building between the various characters in this Bedford-Stuy neighborhood on the "hottest day of the year." Italians, Africans, Puerto Ricans, Asians: everybody's fuses were growing shorter as the day wore on, and anything could tip the balance. When a showdown over the pictures on the wall of fame in a pizza shop ends in the cops killing one of the characters, a riot breaks out.

December 17th is not the hottest day of the year in New York City. And as the Occupy Wall Street movement begins migrating about to find a new public demonstration site, their eyes have become fixated on a portion of land owned by Trinity Wall Street, the main hub of all Episcopalianism in the United States. TWS, which had been supportive of the OWS protestors while they were in Zuccotti Park, hasn't wanted them to occupy this piece of land, called Duarte Square. They've reasoned that it isn't "safe" and would not be an appropriate place for an encampment during the winter because there are no facilities. Today, the OWS movement decided it would scale or crawl under or cut open the chain link fence surrounding Duarte Square and take it over. The response: TWS called in the cops who arrested 50 people, including a retired Episcopal bishop, and carted them off in police wagons.

No one was killed. There were no trash cans hurled through the windows of Trinity Wall Street. But this scene raises many questions and should cause all to pause and think.

As Rev. Canon Dan Webster of the Episcopal Diocese of Maryland notes at Religious Dispatches:

I think this comes under the heading, “To those who have given much, much is expected,” and that’s what Trinity Wall Street has to deal with. Like it or not…Trinity Wall Street owns the bulk of Lower Manhattan, they have the largest portfolio of any congregation in the global Anglican Communion, and they reap the benefits of the 1%...We have to do something now that brings a conscience to capitalism…

I'm not there in New York, but one has to wonder why things had to get to this point. Could TWS not reason out a way to accomodate the OWS movement? Perhaps Duarte Square isn't the perfect spot. Is there another place, another way to provide shelter to the protestors who are demanding the very things the church says it wants: economic and social justice for all?

How interesting to have this showdown occuring now as the liturgical calendar marks the moment when Gabriel tells Mary that she is going to bear the Son of God. This is celebrated with the Magnificat. But remember: the Magnificat is a song reminiscent of Hannah from the Hebrew Scriptures and celebrates God's willingness to use the meek and lowly to topple the powerful and conceited. Perhaps there is something for the church hierarchy to hear in this message.

Ever the Episcopalian, I am always thinking that there is more gray than black and white in these matters. There has to be a way for TWS to offer something of their vast holdings of property to push for a fairer, more just economic system. That is truly the heart of what Occupy Wall Street has been screaming about for the past three months. We are a country where there is a growing gap between the haves and have-nots, and the have-nots are finally starting to notice, and demonstrate their anger. At the same time, is OWS willing to be in another place? Is setting up a tent city for 24/7 demonstrations the answer? Has anything changed other than cities growing weary of the occupations? Why occupy a church lot and not storm the New York Stock Exchange, or Bank of America? Or come to Jacksonville and occupy the headquarters of Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Florida (I would love that!)?

Trinity has been a shelter to so many throughout its history. Now's the time for the church to follow this new born baby about to arrive in our midst... and use its wealth to work for a new paradigm. Today's melee in Manhattan doesn't get us there.

The Body Doesn't Lie

2011-12-16T06:42:00.001-05:00

This has been a week of great reflection, in part because of the funeral I attended on Tuesday. The New Testament reading was from Paul's Second Letter to the Corinthians in which the saint is talking about our soul's desire to unite with God and shed this body we live in:

For while we are still in this tent, we groan under our burden, because we wish not to be unclothed but to be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.--2 Cor. 5:4-5

I guess the Spirit, then, becomes like a winter coat or a sweater providing us with the further warmth and protection from the cold of the world over the layers we all ready have on.

What caught me in listening to this passage the other day was the phrase, "we groan under our burden." I have done many massage sessions with people who are in some stage of grief. Either they have lost a loved one, a job, a relationship, or they have stayed mum and haven't told me anything. As I work the tissues of their body, there will not only be a physical release; sometimes, it's vocal. And it sounds a bit like a groan. Not in pain because of what I'm "doing", but in the recognition that those things that are painful to our minds and our souls manifest in the body.

Recently, I was working on a person who kept slipping in and out of sleep. This person been through a rough patch, and sleeping clearly was an important part of the healing. When I got to the area of the heart, I heard it: the groan. Soft, and like a heavy sigh. How much this layer of skin, bones, and muscles was holding and protecting a heart that had been broken. I held my position for a few minutes and allowed the body to grieve in its own way. All the while, I silently repeated the Sanctus:

O Lamb of God, who takest away the sin of the world, have mercy upon us....

I watched my client's breathing as waves of sadness and sorrow came to the surface.

O Lamb of God who takest away the sin of the world, have mercy upon us...

Releasing, letting go. In these moments, I can sometimes see tears roll down the cheeks. Sometimes, the facial muscles begin to tighten as the person's mind suddenly picks up on what the body is doing and attempts to override. But bodies have more wisdom, and they know that when they are allowed this opportunity to unleash their pent up emotions, they need to do it. In the massage room, this is OK. Out in the world, they must remain strong, vibrant, and always under the control of the brain.

O Lamb of God who takest away the sin of the world, grant us Thy peace...

Once there has been a release, indicated through another long and heavy groan, I know I can change my position and address new places in the body that are also aching and in need of a reminder that they are loved.

When I reflected on St. Paul's message to the church at Corinth, I was bothered by this idea that "the tent" was somehow getting in the way of the holy. These are the beginnings of the misguided Christian doctrine that there is something "bad" about bodies. For some people who have suffered illness or disability, the body may feel like its a prison or rebelling against the soul. But it is truly the house, or tent, that maintains the soul. And it can serve as a receptor to what I believe is holy: massage and therapeutic touch. This contact that I make with clients is part of God's desire to continue having an every day presence in the world. And there is nothing "bad" about that.

Thanks be to God for those people who have brains humble enough to allow their bodies that holy encounter.

When It Speaks, It Sings

2011-12-11T09:38:00.001-05:00

This morning's reading from Isaiah was a balm for my soul:

The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
because the LORD has anointed me;
he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed,
to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and release to the prisoners;
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn...

As noted here, two sets of friends experienced painful losses of loved ones this past week. My gut desire has been to be with both of them, and care for them. Give them a hug, listen to their grief; laugh, cry, roar at the world. I can only do that by email and text message with one because distance separates us. She and her family are in Texas. And the funeral for Edna has been scheduled for the same day as the funeral for Ren, the son of my other friends who are here in Tallahassee. I had been asked to participate in Ren's service which I agreed to immediately. And my heart broke to know that I could not be in two places on the same day.

Oh, Star Trek: why have we not developed the transporter?

There are many of us in Tallahassee who wished that we could be in Texas because we love our friend and we loved Edna. But if there is something I learned from the death of my father it is that the loss of a parent, a parent who showed that God-like quality of unconditional love, will rattle you to the core for some months to come. And so my commitment is to be there for my friend not at the time of the funeral, but in those moments of feeling lost at sea after the funeral and the flowers and the cards have faded.

In the present nearness of my friends who are now missing Ren, I am there, too. I can be there in body, as well as mind and spirit. And they need love and comforting as well. Lending a hand at the time of the funeral is part of that. Being fully present with them in their grief is the priceless gift of binding the wounds of the brokenhearted.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, to display his glory.

In the past week, I also was afforded moments of joy. Watching the mingling and laughing and the sweetness that pervades a PFLAG meeting helped make the heaviness of the week a little lighter. And it, too, reminded me of this Isaiah passage. PFLAG brings the good news to the oppressed and frees the captives in the prisons of self-loathing, the victims of the sin of rejection of God's queer children, and a constant reminder that we are all loved even when the world sometimes doesn't love us back.

I have witnessed that lack of love. I have seen the faces of women who tell me the stories of how their parents have told them never to come home or bring "that lifestyle under my roof." There is resignation in their voices as they insist that nothing will move their parents' hearts. And when I think about young children and how they are so dependant on their parents and look at them as if they are the face of God, is it any wonder that a child rejected by a parent would then think this is God's own rejection of them?

For I the LORD love justice,
I hate robbery and wrongdoing;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

In some ways, I believe that by bearing faithful witness to a different face of God, the one that DOES love justice and DOES love all created things, is an essential mission for me in this life. People who have been hurt, burned by those who they thought would be with them through thick and thin, need to see that what the world is doing in their lives is not reflective of the love that God bestows on us. They need to hear, see, taste that God hasn't abandoned them or turned away. This happens through each of us who are commanded to love one another as we have been loved. We are the ones who were once captives in our own prisons who are now able to live as free people. Through us, God moves to work God's purpose out to continuously unlock the gates and bring the light to people who sit in darkness. Not with Bible-thumping and strident screams of "Repent!" on street corners. But by giving us the wisdom to be present in the pain of the world.

Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us....

May each of us who sense that power stirring allow the power to be our light in the world.

A Reflection on Mary

2011-12-08T00:03:00.001-05:00

In our Education for Ministry seminar, we do an exercise of reflecting on Mary right before we take a break for the holidays. Below is what finally came to me after a week of wrestling with this exercise... and sitting in a contemplative place before the start of our Advent Lessons and Carols.

Mary,

Without you, where would the story be?
A young girl, visited by an angel,
who announces you will bear the Son of God,
Emmanuel
God with us.
Enormous responsibility for anyone,
especially a teenaged girl.

You pondered these things in your heart.
What questions did you have?

We hear you asked,
“How can this be for I am a virgin?”

Mary,

Ave Maria…
Oy vey, Maria!
How the question of your Virgin Birth has vexed the scholars,
tested the theologians, and raised more questions.
Were you a virgin, or just a maiden?
Does that matter?
The church has examined, debated, and lifted you up to heights hardly human.
You have been the comfort to many,
speaking words of wisdom
to those who would listen.
You have been the unattainable, unrealistic version of female,
the “forever a mother” standard.
Is it any wonder that when they see you now,
you are always in tears?

Mary,

in your own moment of truth,
you recited your ancestor Hannah’s prayer.
Praising God for raising the lowly
and scattering the proud.
Again, God had shown
a memory that stretches backward and forward
covering centuries
never forgetting God’s people
and calling on the least to do great things.

Mary,

without you, the story is not our story.
God came to be with us.
God came to us.
Through you, with you, and by you
we have a Savior born in our likeness
leading us to the one
who made us in the likeness of God.
Our circle completed with your consent.

Mary,

Sancta Maria, Theotokos.
Blessed be your place in this incredible story.

R.I.P Edna and Prayers Requested

2011-12-07T15:10:00.000-05:00

If I only could hit the "reset" button.

Earlier this week, I learned of the tragic death of the son of a couple I have come to know and love from my church. And no sooner had I learned of the funeral arrangements for Ren came the news that my best friend's mother was not doing well post-surgery.

This morning, she died in the hospital in Texas.

Edna Galloway was a feisty Southern woman who loved to talk about politics and culture and serial killers. She had a beautiful grin and almost looked like she and Eartha Kitt were separated at birth twins. I enjoyed the times when I visited the Galloway's Ramshackle Ranch and sat at the bar in the kitchen drinking the coffee Edna had brewed (which her daughter Terry kept insisting she could give me something better!) and listening to her stories, and what was on her mind... which inevitably would come 'round to why Texas was going to hell in a handbasket with Republican leadership. She was a lot of fun, and she loved those who loved her daughters. Paul, her husband who used to tease me with his love for the unloveable Dallas Cowboys, passed away a few years ago. With the matriarch also gone, there will be a whole lotta space to fill at Ramshackle Ranch.

My friend Terry is an atheist. But I believe God loves those who do and do not believe. And I am hoping that Edna has found her way to whatever is the next adventure after this realm. Please pray for the Galloway family and their loved ones, as well as my church friends, the Starlings, and the loss of their son, Ren.

And can we please press the reset button.

Comfort, O Comfort My People...Four Years and Running

2011-12-03T23:37:00.000-05:00

I remember when I became a Eucharistic Minister at St. John's, I was assigned to be the lector reading the lesson from Isaiah.

Comfort, O comfort my people,
says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that she has served her term,
that her penalty is paid,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins...

In many respects, as I reflect on the fourth anniversary of this blog, I am reflecting on the initial mission of this space. I started it with the intention of sharing my journey and expressing my faith as a queer Christian. My aim was to demystify gay people and press forward with the idea that a segment of the population often excluded by religious communities is often some of the most faithful clamoring to be allowed inside the gate.

Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all people shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

Since I started writing this blog, I have seen major shifts happening in the church and the world. Indeed I keep sensing that valleys are being lifted up, hills made low.   Not everywhere. Not in Florida necessarily. But as the uneven ground continues to be made level, I see the glory of the Lord being revealed in the consecration of Mary Glasspool, and the decisions of dioceses in the state of New York to comply with same-sex marriage laws and allow for the blessings on couples who have waited decades in some cases to have their relationships made legitimate in the eyes of the state.

Get you up to a high mountain,
O Zion, herald of good tidings;
lift up your voice with strength,
O Jerusalem, herald of good tidings,
lift it up, do not fear;
say to the cities of Judah,
"Here is your God!"

Yes, here is your God. The one who comes on a cleared path, on a cloud descending, and with the intention of setting us all free. Of course, Isaiah didn't know and wouldn't have known to speak of Jesus, and it does a disservice to the prophet to impose Christian teaching on his words. But Jesus was the human embodiment of God's constant mission to free us and lead us into love if we would be willing to follow.  Queers who follow are doing so because there is incredible liberation in the love of God. And the mantra, "Do not fear" is one that resonates strongly for LGBT Christians. Do not let those who would try to plant a seed of doubt about your free entry into the kingdom get the best of you. Not only do belong; you were never rejected by God. Ever.

He will feed his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms,
and carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead the mother sheep.

As I keep journeying along with you, I hope that those who land on this page will experience through my writing the joy and the freedom that comes from opening up to the Divine. I hope any negative statements or attempts to lead you away from God can be countered with the real message that you are already part of the kingdom. Peace be with you.

Touchy Topic: Atheist and Black

2011-12-02T14:36:00.000-05:00

I'm neither black nor am I an atheist.

But I was very interested in the article in the New York Times from last weekend that talked about a minority-within-a-minority: African-Americans who do not profess a faith in God.

Often times in this country, there is an almost inseparable link between the church and the local black community. When I was working as a Technical Assistant Clerk in a predominantly African-American voting precinct, my fellow pollworkers would introduce themselves by giving their name, and any possible relations the other person might know... and then what church they attend. I was only included in that ritual when they saw my Education for Ministry textbook that I had brought along for when I would have down time.   They'd look at it, be puzzled by it being in my possession, and then ask me, "What's your church?"   I'd tell them, and my affliliation would make me a little more real for them. Christ the ice breaker at a Leon County polling place!

One of the striking comments in the article was from the young man who came out as gay to his mother and when she tried to use the Bible to explain her problems with homosexuality, he told her he didn't care because he didn't believe in that stuff anymore.   For the mom, hearing that was more disturbing than hearing that her son is gay!

At long last... there is SOMETHING that is worse in the minds of some than homosexuality!

What struck me in that story was that the man didn't believe "in that stuff anymore" and that he is gay. This is, sadly, all too common. For some reason, believing in "that stuff" is seen as antithetical to being gay. And the church has aided and abetted in pushing this as the inevitable conclusion for all LGBT people. Those of us who refuse to accept this formula for separation from our creator, redeemer and sustainer then face other subtle forms of discrimination within the church. We are welcome to be in the pews, but the pulpit remains a thorny issue in some parts. Announcements and thanksgiving for the rites of passage for heterosexual couples are celebrated openly while the milestones in the life of an LGBT couple remain unacknowledged or hidden.

Such slights drive some to leave the church. And sometimes those slights lead to the mistaken idea that God is the church. And if the church is going to treat me as a second-class citizen, then God must think the same thing. So, see ya, God!

My favorite theologian, Robert Capon, made the best statement to counter this misbelief:

"The truth that makes us free is always ticking away like a time bomb in the basement of everybody's church. And that truth isn't a bunch of ideas. It's Jesus. Sooner or later, if we just sit still and listen, he'll blow the lid off of any prison we've built."

For those of us who are queer Christians, we are in the pews and we are being called to the pulpit because we have known the freeing power of being busted out of the jail of homophobia and the sin of exclusion. God isn't the figment of our imagination; God is real and is empowering us not to become mere joiners of the institution, but to square up to the institution and call it back to God's ultimate mission: love, unbounded and never-ending. I believe this is why there are a growing number of LGBT people who are coming out as people of faith.   At least in the white community.

Maybe the trend to toward humanism and atheism in the black community is a way to point out the error of the ways of the black church. That the rampant homphobia that exists in black churches is sending the children packing... and turning their backs on God. Perhaps atheism may be the way to shake up the theists in the African-American communities to repent and return to a message that Christ did indeed die for everyone.

Maybe God is working a purpose out....

A Reflection on World AIDS Day

2011-12-01T23:39:00.001-05:00

My apologies to those of you who have made a habit of visiting this blog. I've been so busy lately that I have very little time to think, let alone write anything. But this morning, as I listened to the first portion of Psalm 18, I heard words that seemed appropriate for World AIDS Day:

The breakers of death rolled over me, and the torrents of oblivion made me afraid. The cords of hell entangled me, and the snares of death were set for me. I called upon the Lord in my distress, and cried out to my God for help. He heard my voice from his heavenly dwelling; my cry of anguish came to his ears.
I found my mind recalling various faces of friends and acquaintances who have died of complications from HIV infection; of seeing the AIDS quilt, both laid out in near-fullness on the Mall in Washington, DC, in 1993... and a few panels at Holy Trinity Episcopal Church in Gainesville. I thought about the shame heaped on those living with HIV, and how so many especially 30 years ago... would lose the love of their families as they lay dying in hospitals. And I thought how these words sounded very much like the kind of prayer the persecuted patient might have been praying. Scientists have made huge breakthroughs in the 30 years with the antiretroviral drugs, but there are still almost 40-thousand new cases of HIV infection every year. And there are those who cast all caution to the wind and intentionally go out to get infected, a phenomenon I simply don't understand. As I remember those who have died, I continue to pray that we will continue funding the research to work us toward eradicating HIV/AIDS here and abroad.

Entering Advent

2011-11-27T22:53:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking about the words from the 1 Peter reading that closed out yesterday morning's Year A lectionary:

The end of all things is near; therefore be serious and discipline yourselves for the sake of your prayers. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Like good stewards of the manifold grace of God, serve one another with whatever gift each of you has received.

I find as I enter Advent, these words are probably just as good as anything. It feels like the send off a parent might give to a child as they slip them a twenty dollar bill as the kid goes off to college. And, in a way, that is what Advent is like. We are being sent off into a new year and new experiences that come with the cycle of waiting expectantly for Christ's entry into our world.

I say "our world" because that's what happens in this ritual of remembrance. The literalist will be looking for the "acutal, flesh and blood" return of the Messiah to fulfill the promise we recite at the Eucharist: "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again." But I don't think in "literal" terms when I consider the idea of the Messiah's return. Christ, for me, returns every year, like clockwork, at the end of Advent with Christmas Eve and the singing of "Joy to the World". And the question for me always at that moment is, "Am I ready for this?" It's all fine and good when we are in awe of this baby, whose majestic birth happens in a manger with animals and shepherds. But that is just the beginning. The baby grows up, and presents challenges to the status quo. If we agree to journey with Christ in this annual maturation, we might find ourselves challenged to see things differently and poked and prodded out of our comfort zones. And, with this being the "Mark Year," we're climbing on-board with the Christ who is the Doc Marten wearing no nonsense Messiah. He doesn't have time for games; Mark's version is the Christ of action. Now.

Time to get serious, be disciplined, and stay constant in love. Then, perhaps we'll be ready for the topsy-turvy ride with the newborn babe.

Bittersweet Ending of a Tradition

2011-11-25T09:35:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, two midwestern football rivals will take to the field in a game that has come to be known as the Border War.

The University of Missouri-Columbia Tigers vs. the University of kansas Jayhawks... also known as the "Ugly Birds". Yes, as an alumna of Mizzou, I have an opinion about our opponent. This game has been played every year since 1891... and its roots go back to the national upheaval during the Civil War. Kansas was a free state. Missouri was a slave state. The "Jayhawkers", a band of hooligans from Kansas, would make periodic raids into western Missouri, burning towns and making mayhem. Missouri responded by sending William Quantrill and his raucous Bushwhackers into Lawrence (home of kU), burning it to a crisp.

Today, fires and raids have given way to helmets, shoulder pads, and brutal tackling. As these gridiron gladiators go at it on the field, fans from both sides will be screaming themselves to hoarseness as the bands play on with the fight songs to encourage their teams.

Sadly, tomorrow will likely be the last time Missouri will play its arch rival in this classic showdown. My Alma Mater, for reasons of money, has decided to leave the Big 12 Conference and will begin playing in the SEC next season. They'd been trying to join the Big 10, another Midwestern-based conference. But Michigan, Ohio State, Northwestern, Wisconsin.... they all refused to acknowledge the request. Or simply chose to look the other way. Meanwhile, the SEC was happy to include an institution with one of the premiere Journalism Schools in the nation... as well as a football team that could join Vanderbilt in the "homecoming guest" department. And so, beginning next year, Missouri will have a Border War with.... umm.... with....

Arkansas?

That doesn't work for me.

In fact, most of this whole realignment business of the collegiate athletic conferences doesn't work for me. The Big 10 has twelve teams; The Big 12 this year had 10 teams. The PAC 12 (used to be PAC 10) includes former Big 12 school Colorado... a school that might be on the Pacific Coast in the event of global warming! Florida State has been in the Atlantic Coast Conference... even though it sits closer to the Gulf of Mexico. The whole thing is a stinking mess, and it is all about money, and television revenues. Not for the players, of course. They're chattel in this high stakes world of college sports. The universities make a mint off of them. And as legislatures continue to hack away at higher education, the need for revenue from the athletic programs becomes greater. What should be just a game is now all about the ca-ching of cash flow.

Lost in all of this are the rivalries such as Missouri vs. kansas. When kU heard that Missouri was going to bolt from the Big 12, the Ugly Bird school threw down the gauntlet: leave, and this rivalry match-up is over! Mizzou's response: we never liked you very much any way. So, see ya later and we'll play the Gators.

As an alumna, I am disappointed. The bitterness between the two schools and the two states has actually been fun. All Mizzou alums get a kick out of refusing to capitalize the "k" because we know that kansas is "Neither a proper noun nor a proper state!" In turn, the more Union-friendly fervor of kansans burns hot every time they proclaim that they've been "protecting America from Missouri since 1854!" And when I was a student in the late 80s, both schools had the same football cheer: "Oh, yeah?! Wait 'til basketball season!!"

I hope that both schools will come to their senses and realize that we are really talking about a game, and that these conferences have become so meaningless in their geographical alignment that to sacrifice a tradition that dates back to 1891 and draws the attention of alums and curious on-lookers alike is just plain stupid. Surely, one of the SEC foes will forgo a game against the Missouri Tigers to allow them to play the Ugly Birds. For those of us who went to these schools, the game against the rival might be the only one that could get us excited about the sport in question. I mean, no one at Mizzou ever gave up her tickets to football or basketball games against kU.

Guess that won't be an issue any more.

Giving Thanks

2011-11-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Turkey Day, America!

This is the day where we all gather 'round the dining room table to feast on fowl, sweet potatoes, cranberries, green bean casseroles, dressing, and pies.   At least, that's how Publix wants us to think. And by the packed parking lots, it's clear that the message has sunk in. Thanksgiving is about food!

And family, related or chosen. People will travel by plane, car and train to be with others for this feast day. In fact, this is the biggest travel holiday of the year, and AAA is predicting more people will leave home for the holiday than last year.

And football. Yes, of course! It's about watching the Detroit Lions vs. the Chosen Opponent. In year's past, one could safely say the opponent would easily stomp the poor, hapless Lions. But now they've become contenders. So, it could be an exciting game!

And God?

One of an overly-pious nature could scoff at all of the above as proof that secularism is killing Christ and robbing us of our faith in God.   OR one could recognize that in all of this, God is there. It is a good, and right, and joyful thing always and everywhere to remember and praise God for the blessings we have in life: food, family, and--yes--football.   God is there in our rejoicing as well as when we are in sorrow and despair. And I believe even when we are not actively praising God, if we live knowing that God is ever present with us and moving in, through and around us, if we believe we are redeemed and respond to redemption by treating all things with same love and respect we have experienced, then we are blessing in deed as well as by our words.

Thanks be to God for all the blessings and challenges and love that we share for our friends, family and the world in which we live in.   And may everyone enjoy a Happy Thanksgiving.

Christ the Non-Conformist King

2011-11-20T00:37:00.001-05:00

We are reaching the end of Pentecost and the Church calendar year culminating in what is called, "Christ the King" Sunday. It is the time when we reflect that Christ's kingship is not like any others. He never drew a sword or went into a battle.  He preferred to assert his rule through being who he was and encouraging those around him to follow his example. He gets killed for this, but not even death could conquer him. And, as evidenced today by how many still revere his name, he continues to prove that he has risen, and is still beckoning us to live in the way he was teaching us: love one another, build each other up, lend a hand to someone in need. And love yourself remembering that you are loved by God first.
It is a day of great joy and celebration as we prepare for the entry of Christ into the world on December 25th. And then the journey begins in earnest as the baby grows up into the man who is the redeemer of the world.
As I reflect on the readings in the lectionary, especially the gospel lesson from Matthew 25, I considered the common theme of searching out the lost and lonely, giving wisdom to those who stay in relationship with God, and noting that those who are in right relationship with God are the ones who treat the least among their society with dignity and respect.    I put those insights along side what is happening in the world today, especially with our treatment of the transgender communities and those who don't conform to gender "norms." We have a long way to go toward fully living up to the commandment to love one another as Christ loved us.   Remember, Christ was a king who did not beat or kill anyone. When confronted by someone who was "other" in his First Century society, Christ the King often times behaved in a way that some of his contemporaries might not have thought was fitting of a King.  If the Sadducces had had the term, they might have called him, "queer" and not because he was funny looking!
And that is one of the reasons I value Christ. For one who was a man, he had an ability and a desire to see women respected and gave them close access to him. Women were his messengers to the disciples when he rose from the dead. Mary sat at his feet learning. Countless women and men with disabilities became able through contact with Christ and are held up by the evangelists as evidence of the ministry Jesus was doing on earth. He was a man in physical appearance, but he was non-conforming. He was an outward and visible sign of a man with a very different inward and spiritual grace.
I have said to people that I believe God is transgender. In fact, God transcends all our perceptions of what gender is or should be.   The construct of male-female is so limiting. I see God as having no discernible human form; hence can have a gender that is fluid and at-ease in all genders. It is this DNA that lived in the male body of Christ that I believe gave him the extraordinary ability to be with men and women fully and equally and treat them with dignity no matter their human condition. As such, I imagine Christ would not flinch upon meeting someone trans, nor would he have had a problem with the "ma'am" or "sir" pleasantries. He would have loved them and included them in his royal court of those in need of some kindness.
Today, many of us in the LGBT community are pausing to remember the violence committed against our transgender friends. Those who would commit such hateful acts as burning people to death, or beating them with fists or clubs, clearly have never met the king who said that those who fed the hungry, welcomed the stranger, clothed the naked, took care of the sick, and visited the prisoner were the righteous in the sight of God.   That king is unambiguous about this message of love.   And this king will gather the sheep left shivering for wont of shelter from a society hostile to differences.

Seeking Input

2011-11-15T00:27:00.001-05:00

The following message is for anyone who wants to see marriage equality become a reality in the Episcopal Church liturgy.

In reading Rev. Susan Russell's blog, I saw where from now until November 27th, anyone who is a deputy to the Church's National Convention in Indianapolis next summer is invited to read and make comment on the Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music's white paper on same-sex marriage rites.

The rest of us, I guess, don't get to comment until after that period.

Here's the link to the item on Rev. Russell's blog.

The SCLM is offering two resolutions to consider. One would be to adopt the liturgical materials they have developed and begin implementing them in those jurisdictions that allow for same-sex marriage beginning on 1Advent of 2012.   The other option is to ask the Presiding Bishop and the House of Deputies President to appoint a task force to "study the theological, scriptural, historical, canonical, and liturgical aspects of marriage and to develop tools for theological reflection along with norms for theological discussion at the local level." In other words, either go for it on fourth down or punt for another three years.   Folks, honestly: the discussion about full inclusion of LGBT people in the church has been happening since 1976!! Babies born in that year have already gone to college, started a career, and come out of the closet. They are now parish priests, for crying out loud! I think we are all talked out by now.

If I were running a "TR" on the two options, I would have a field day.

What does Tradition say? Well, they've got lots to look at in the Blessing of a Marriage language in the BCP, and they've done research on these "new" rites as indicated in their white paper. Some might quote the same tired-old business out of the Bible from Leviticus, Romans, 1 Corinthians.   Whatever.
What does Culture say? "The Church is stupid and hateful toward gays."   (Don't believe me? I'll invite you to a party with my "unchurched" friends!)
What experiences have I had? None, really. I live in Florida and the voters already made my choice for me and the church. But I sure do get goose-bumps when I see all those other people getting married and seeming to be so happy and joyful. How much more so will be those who are faithful members of the Episcopal Church who have waited, and waited to have their relationships celebrated in the same way we see our straight brothers and sisters being blessed?
What is my Position? That the Church should quit the damn studies, and get on with it!
What Insights do I gain from all of this? That the Church needs to move at a pace that is respectful and comfortable for the members who are the most leery... but the ones who are most leery must also trust that those who have been standing along side them as they wade into these unchartered waters are not going to hold them under and drown them. Nobody is "dunking" anyone else... and it is time to learn how to swim. Then everyone can enjoy the water and play with each other. And all will be well.

So if you are a deputy, or know someone who is a deputy, please forward this message and encourage this process to move ahead and get us off the dime. Please!

Peace. Out.

Gleaning from the Gospel (and Everything Else)

2011-11-13T23:54:00.001-05:00

Blessed Lord, who have caused all Holy Scriptures to be written for our learning. Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.

With those words setting the stage, we dive right in to the readings assigned for the Episcopal Lectionary for this Sunday. I'm sorry the diviners of our lessons decided NOT to tell "the rest of the story" from our Hebrew Scripture lesson out of Judges. They give us the basics: once again, the Israelites are screwing up... and this time Deborah is their judge. She's a prophetess who sits under her palm tree and tells Barak to go get ready for battle with Sisera, the commander of the Canaanite army. And that's where they stopped the story.

Perhaps they felt that Sunday morning wasn't the time to let everyone know that another woman, Jael, gets Sisera into her tent and, as he's sleeping, she jams a tent peg through his head. Deborah, Barak and Jael then do a chorus line number to celebrate the victory.

Like I said, they didn't go there... and so we'll just leave it alone.

Out of Psalm 123... I found myself drawn to these verses:

"Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy,
for we have had more than enough contempt,
Too much of the scorn of the indolent rich,
and of the derision of the proud."

I imagine that perhaps these are the words that the Israelites might have used to gain God's attention as they found themselves up against the Canaanite army of Sisera. They sound like words I could have used once or twice in my life!

Don't fret: the 1 Thessalonians reading goes on to talk about how those who have found themselves "in Christ" are children of light, live in the day, put on breastplates of faith and hope and helmets of salvation. And, one of the most critical lines of any of Paul's instructions: "Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing."

And here we arrive at the Gospel of Christ according to Matthew's 25th chapter... and the story of the man who gives three slaves a certain number of talents (talents were "sums of money" not the ability to swallow swords or twirl batons) and then leaves them for a very long time. When he comes back, he finds that the one who had the five talents wheeled and dealed his way to doubling the fortune. The one who he had given two talents did the same. Both of these slaves were praised and given even more responsibility as they became part of the kingdom. Slave number three, who had only had the one talent, is described as being afraid. So afraid that he didn't do anything with this pot of gold except bury it in the ground.   When he faces up to the man, he can't admit that he did anything wrong. Instead, he says, "I buried it because I knew YOU (the master) were dishonest and you don't reap what you sow and you scatter your seeds everywhere... and... and... and...."   This episode doesn't end well for slave number three.   Upon hearing the excuses, the master has the talent taken from the slave and then orders him to be cast into the outer darkness where there is "weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Sitting with this story, especially after all the rest of the readings, I was thinking about this third slave and his motivation (or lack thereof) in handling this gift. Even one talent in those days of ancient Palestine was no chump change, so it's not like he couldn't have done a lot with it.   But he had a choice of what to do: do I go wheel and deal like the others and increase the amount of this "seed money" or do I give in to my fear that if I part with any of it, I won't have enough?   From the story we learn which choice he makes.   And then there was the projection: the slave says he didn't do anything with the money because he knows the master to be this dishonest guy who just takes whatever and randomly scatters seeds all over the place.  And then there is the master's response: "You knew that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest."

Aside from snickering that the money should be invested with "the bankers" to earn interest, we see that the one thing the third slave failed to do was the work of "building up" others. That's what happens when you take your money and put it into circulation. I think about the call in our community to "Shop Local." Buying goods from a local merchant as opposed to the Wal-Marts of the world means that you are helping a neighbors to earn the dough they'll need to make purchases, pay employees, etc. I consider this part of the "building up" of our community. I also think this particular slave is an example of one who hasn't put on the breastplate of faith and hope. Instead, he's afraid and sticks his money in a hole. But above all, I was struck by the way the third slave projects all this crap onto the master who'd given the talent to begin with. In my ears, this is the same thing I hear from those I know who are estranged from a faith tradition or just flat-out hostile toward any religious belief. What they say they know of God, or of Christianity, is often negative and punishing: hardly a God who will hear the cry to have mercy.   So much of what they say they know about God or Christ or the Gospels is usually tainted by some terrible experience. And that experience is not coming from God... or Christ... or the Gospels. It's coming from those who claim to have the religious authority to speak for God who then commit the sin of taking God's good words and works in vain by twisting them into a club to smack people over the head.

What a person might know about God could be very, very badly off-base. I would venture a guess that God is always willing to have someone like this third slave say, "OK, so I was wrong. I screwed up, and buried the talent because I thought you were a mean ol' cur, but I see that you are not."   That's the repentance and redemption piece of the story which happens again and again in Scripture and beyond to our current day. Too bad the third slave didn't understand that.

May we never forget it.

Pope Joe Pa: Buh-Bye

2011-11-09T23:39:00.002-05:00

There are lots of things I could blog about, but tonight I am shaking my head in amazement and horror at the destruction of a giant of American college football.
Joe Paterno, head coach of the Penn State Nittany Lions for 46 years, has been fired in the wake of the sexual abuse scandal involving his former defensive co-ordinator. The story is tragic. Jerry Sandusky joined the Penn State coaching staff in 1969, and eight years later, begins a program called Second Mile in 1977. He sets up group foster homes for troubled boys who either have no family or come from dysfunctional backgrounds. And it is from this setting that Sandusky meets his victims... as many as nine boys... who he would take to the showers at the Penn State football stadium and abuse them.  According to the timeline in the grand jury indictment, numerous people, sometimes the parents of the boys and sometimes university employees, saw or learned of the abuse and reported it.
But nothing happened.
And the worst was the graduate assistant who saw Sandusky having sex with a 10 year-old in the showers.  The grad assistant didn't intervene to save the boy. Instead he told his father, and the next day went to Head Coach Joe Paterno and told him.   Sandusky wasn't even on the official coaching staff, but was some kind of "coach emeritus" with the team.
Did Paterno call the cops? No, he called the athletic director. Did the athletic director call the cops? No, instead everyone promises to "look into it." Sandusky has his keys taken away. But not his freedom.
This was in 2002 when there were a number of headlines about the Roman Catholic Church's own issues with child sex abuse. And Paterno is Catholic.   His response to the news that something was rotten in the showers of his vaunted football progam is too reminiscent of how his Holy See also preferred to look the other way as it became apparent that the church would shuffle pedophiles from one parish to another.
Paterno had announced earlier today that he would retire at the end of this, his 46th season.  The 84 year-old coach probably still believed that his legacy could still be salvaged.  Certainly, everyone would remember his "Great Experiment" of making championship-worthy football go hand-in-hand with great academics. He probably wanted to add another win to his record of 409, more than any other coach in college football.
Instead, the Board of Trustees have told Joe Pa: Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Good-Bye. Same with the University President.
Like I said, it's all tragic and sad. Especially for Victims numbers 1-9.
Most college sports teams are shaken up by financial misdeeds by boosters, or athletes breaking the law, or college tutors cheating on behalf of the players to keep the athlete eligible to play.   But raping young boys in the team shower? Sorry, Joe Pa. If you knew and did nothing, you do not deserve to leave on your terms.

How Time Flies: Happy Birthday, NACC

2011-11-04T09:21:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a marathon day with many appointments with clients and meetings at the church and read-throughs for a radio script for the Mickee Faust Club. When I finally sat down at the computer at 11pm, and opened my blog roll, I was reminded that November 3rd--aka Richard Hooker Day-- was the day a group of us in the blogosphere launched the No Anglican Covenant Coalition.

The goal was simple: an online campaign to educate the global Communion about the dangers of adopting a document designed to centralize power in the Anglican Communion to a group of bishops and others in the hierarchy who would dictate what's what, and sanction any Church that doesn't do as they say.   It is, in my opinion, a throwback to the days of the Oxford Movement and this idea that somehow we had lost our way and need correction for "orthodoxy" sake. And, much as the supporters of the Anglican Covenant have tried to deny this, it is a punishing document that attempts to do the unthinkable: streamline thinking in the Anglican Communion.

Study the history of the development of the Church of England and the Anglican Communion and you'll see that we, those who have bought into communal relationship, have always been a motley crew that were held together by belief in a Triune God... and conviction that one should apply reason to scripture and church tradition (thank you, Richard Hooker).   To suddenly decide that we need to agree to "What is an Anglican" is absurd and arrogant.   And it seems from accounts around the world, the only ones who can agree to the Covenant's terms are the ones sitting on island nation in Europe, sipping their tea and repeating the line that the Covenant is "the only way forward."   As MadPriest notes, this insistence will be the death of the Church of England.

I have not been as active a member in the No Anglican Covenant Coalition during the past several months. I care about what's happening and I'm impressed with the work our group has done to assemble documents and arguments, not to mention the countless blog entries all of us have written. Our international leader, Revd. Dr. Lesley Crawley, has done well to keep our message out there as has our stateside leader Lionel Deimel.  There is a certain soap opera-like quality to the Anglican Covenant storyline that allows me to check in and out and still know--roughly--what's happening while I continue to eek out a living and participate in the church as a member of the laity.   My own contribution to the Coalition has been the occasional bit of humor as expressed through the Bishop YellowBelly series which can be found HERE. Between me and Mr. CatOLick, I think we have used comedy to the best effect of pointing out the ridiculousness of the Covenant.

The latest news is that yet another Maori member of the Communion has rejected the Covenant. In the United States, dioceses are rolling out their rejections of the document as we countdown to our General Convention in Indianapolis next July. I haven't heard what the Diocese of Florida wants to do with it, and we usually don't get that news unless we call Jacksonville and ask for it. I probably won't make that call until early next year. I have a feeling that as much as our Bishop enjoys the Lambeth Conference too many on this side of the pond are seeing the Covenant as a ham-fisted way to solve a perceived problem. And those of us who have lived through the schisms and the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the "more orthodox than thou" believe that this document only continues to stir pot whose contents have already been emptied.

The only way forward is simply to move forward. Boldly and bumbling as we attempt to run without stumbling to obtain the heavenly promises of God. Nix the Covenant and let's get on with it.

Into the Cloud of Witnesses

2011-11-01T11:27:00.001-04:00

As one might expect, I awoke this morning with the All Saints' hymn running through my head.

For all the saints who from their labors rest...

I was thinking about all who have passed in the last 12 months, both family members, fathers of friends, and especially the pioneers and the prophets of the gay civil rights movement. There is a lovely entry over at Jesus in Love that commemorates the LGBT saints who have died since this time last year. And this morning, I learned of one more.

Axel Axgil, who was among the first out gay leaders in Denmark and helped to make that country the first in Europe, and the world, to legalize same-sex partnerships, passed away on Saturday from complications related to a fall. He was 96.

O may thy soldiers, faithful, true, and bold, fight as the saints who nobly fought of old...

Axgil was born Axel Lundahl-Madsen. He was one of the founders of LGBT Danmark... then known as Forbundet af 1948 or F-48, The Association... in 1948. He and his partner, Eigil Eskildsen, were sentenced to a short prison term on pornography charges in 1955 for running a gay male modeling agency that took nude photos of men. While in prison, they melded their first names into a new surname--Axgil--in an act of public defiance. They, along with others, fought for decades for the right to have gay relationships recognized by the government. They persevered and on October 1, 1989, they joined 10 other couples in becoming the first to enter into a civil union and gain many of the same rights as heterosexual Danes. Denmark finally granted LGBT couples the right to adopt children last year.

A quote in the Washington Post from Vivi Jelstrup of LGBT Danmark said that Axgil never saw the struggle as "his" cause.

"He was a modest man...He always underscored that there were many involved in the work and that it was a common cause.”

Eigil Axgil died on September 22, 1995.

O blest communion fellowship divine! We feebly struggle, they in glory shine; yet all are one in thee for all are thine.

Reading stories about men such as Axel Axgil remind me that I am part of a continuum of the saints who have worked to bring this world forward in the struggle for full equality for all people. Many have gone before me to lift valleys up and bring mountains a little closer to the ground so that there is a level playing field. Each of us, whether we are standing on a corner with a bullhorn crying out for justice, or simply presenting our full selves without apology before our neighbors, are helping to clear the path and make it a little wider for the next generation to travel toward a fair and just world.

So often we think of saints as the ones who have died. But really All Saints' Day is the time to realize that while some are now immortal, those of us still in this realm are continuing their good works and we are part of the tribe of sainthood. We are to carry on what they have done and accomplish more before it's our turn to rest.

Alleluia, alleluia!

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T20:28:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween everyone!

First off... I need a name for this pumpkin with a tin foil hat. Yes, a tin foil hat should give you a HUGE hint as to what I'm looking for in a name.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays because it recalls memories of my dad indulging me in my wildest fancies of costumes, be it transforming an old blue sweatshirt into a superman costume, or helping me to transform into Henry VIII (although I was a scrawny King of England). But his speciality was to take my intricate jack o'lantern designs and make them come to life. Nothing was too outrageous or too complicated for his carving work. And so it was with great pleasure during the last years of his life, when he was right arm was paralyzed and he was unable to create a jack o'lantern, that I would carry a table, newspapers and knives to his assisted living facility to carve a pumpkin for him. We'd talk over what kind of face he wanted, and I would go to work. He'd watch me as I would prattle on about whatever. And I'd check in with him to make sure I was "doing this right." In the end, he smiled and complimented me on my art work. I used to like him to make scary-faced pumpkins. But living in "the home", his preference was to have a smiley-faced gourd.

It's appropriate I think to reminiscence about such things at this time of year. For the pagans, this is one of their highest of holy days--Samhain--where the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest and there is much communing with the ancestors. Not surprisingly, Christians also celebrate this time of year with All Saints Day tomorrow and remembering all those who have died in the past year. We hold their lives up in commemoration of their passing and in the hope that one day we, too, will be marching with them and all the company of heaven.

There is comfort in remembering the times of fun I had with my dad, both as a child and as an adult. But I don't believe his spirit dwells that close to me as if he were in some parallel universe with just a thin curtain separating us. At this point, the markers of my dad are the ones that are in my mind and heart as well as one-half of my DNA. My father's spirit, I believe, has ascended to some height and a new dimension of life that I can't even begin to understand and explain. I suppose that is part of the mystery. And I can wait to have that riddle unfold later.

Now, what are we gonna call that pumpkin?

Love is a Four-Letter Word

2011-10-29T23:30:00.003-04:00

I was privileged to witness a beautiful wedding today.

My two friends, Sarah and Margeaux, were smudged (and handcuffed) in a ceremony that celebrated their love, beauty and levity of their relationship. And it happened in the state of Florida, which specifically prohibits same-sex marriage. But this was all legal. Margeaux, an MTF transgender, had retained some of the "male markers" that allowed for this to be a "legitimate" marriage ceremony by the state's standards.

It was very special to be part of this moment. These two make a lovely couple, and the story of their meeting (aided in part by my buddy Jimmers in a devil costume at Halloween) was priceless and spoke to how when one meets a soul mate, you just know it's right. And gender? Who cares!  I'm convinced that God does not ... nor did the man in the devil outfit.

There are so many in this state that would like to have the opportunity to pledge their love to their life partner in a public ceremony witnessed by friends and family, and have it really count.  But until there is a revolution to change the constitution, we must go elsewhere to get married. Many of my friends have made arrangements to marry in Massachusetts, Vermont, DC, and even some got hitched during that brief period in California.  The transgender community can, in some cases, exploit the loopholes about "one man, one woman" in the law to get around the ridiculous barriers.

After the wedding proper, the conversation among some of us turned to the topic of the law and its discrimination.   We appreciated Margeaux's remarks about the intentionality of her decision to keep some of the "male markers" in place so that she and Sarah could legally be married. All of us were for it, and all of us agreed that it is wrong that anyone should have to do that. We marveled at the willingness of some to stand firmly and squarely in opposition to love. Because that's what it really boils down to: opposing love. They are so threatened by the idea that two people of the same gender might love one another. And for that, we have to have a constitutional amendment? As one person said, "Love is a four-letter word." Sadly, so is fear. And it is the latter that seems to dominate whenever the discussion arises of permitting the LGBT community some share in that pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.

Margeaux said at the ceremony that she hopes for a day when we there won't be a prohibition against LGBT people getting married to the person who they love. I have that same hope.

Stewardship Revelation

2011-10-25T23:57:00.001-04:00

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! We’re entering into the final weeks of this year’s readings in the Daily Office and that means one thing: Revelation!

The Book of Revelation to John really is a part of the Bible that I think must have been authored by the creator of Calvin and Hobbes (the cartoon… not the theologian and philosopher). Either that, or John got into some funny mushrooms. You’ve got creatures with wings and multiple eyes and dragons and lambs and horsemen and mayhem and a new heaven and a new earth. It’s really whacky reading and the kind of stuff an imaginative child might relish. And it certainly isn’t boring.

What struck me in reading the Revelation passage assigned for today (besides imagining lions and eagles with lots of eyes) was the scene of the four winged creatures and the twenty-four elders bowing to God and saying, “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power for you created all things, and by their will they existed and were created.” That sentence reminds me of what I often heard the priest say at the altar on Sundays before beginning the liturgy of the table:

“All things come of thee, O Lord, and of thine own have we given thee.”

Until recently, that phrase would pass through one ear and out the other. Nothing snagged it in my brain, forcing me to contend with its meaning.

Then along came the stewardship campaign.

Just as predictable as readings from Revelation showing up in the lectionary at the end of the Church year, it is equally as regular that the mid-fall season means the beginning of the stewardship campaign; that time when some appointed people in the church are called on to help the rector reach out to the rest of the congregation and commit some hard cold cash for a year. The church exists for God, but God doesn’t pay the utility bills. And in this human, earthly realm, the church needs money for the privilege of existence on a city block.

I used to get really uncomfortable about stewardship campaigns. I didn’t like people asking me to make a commitment of money to the church because I didn’t want to be “pinned down” to give a specific amount. I felt scared by the whole thing; what if I couldn’t pay my pledge? Would I get kicked out of the congregation as a free-loader?

My anxiety changed one day as I was in my massage office waiting for a client. I had been asked to be on the stewardship committee for the parish, and thus was having to face my own fears and doubts about money, what I could afford, and how would I budget for a pledge. I realized that money held a lot of energy and power over me. And the only way for me to keep money from staring at me like some looming ogre was to take a more Buddhist approach to the green stuff. I had to learn to detach from it.

This is easier said than done. But as I thought about that line, “All things come of thee, O Lord, and of thine own have we given thee,” I thought about the transfer of money especially that which I called, “my money.” “My money” is never really “my money.” It isn’t really something I own; it’s on loan to me to then move it along to someone or something else. I don’t necessarily believe that our currency is “God’s money.” But what we do with it and how we relate to it will influence our stewardship of all things. And if we believe that God created all things, then we are bound to treat all things with care and respect. This includes the bits of copper, silver and dollars that make up that thing called, “money.” Adopting a philosophy toward money like that, I found it easier to conceive of making a pledge. I could find an amount that had significance to me, and then I could let it go without feeling a need or a demand or sensing that I was in any way still emotionally, spiritually or psychically attached to this check that I had written.

The church gets the money that had been in my hands and in someone else’s hands before that to put that money to use in supplying a space for people to gather to worship, meet and have fellowship. Thanks be to God for that.

Covenant? No, Thank You

2011-10-25T08:12:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I have posted anything about the painful process of Provinces, Churches, Dioceses etc. reviewing the so-called Anglican Communion Covenant. But this morning, a report I saw posted from The Lead indicates that our executive council of the Episcopal Church has said it will recommend a "No" vote on signing the Anglican Covenant at our General Convention in 2012.

This after the diocese of California also said it will say, "No." Not to mention many other dioceses and members of the Communion. Generally, it seems the only ones really gung-ho for the document are the ones at Lambeth Palace. And my impression of that lot is that they will dig their heels in and insist the AC is "the only way forward" until it chokes them to death.

And the beat goes on.

Interpreting the Present Time

2011-10-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time?

The passage from Luke's gospel were part of the readings from Friday's noon day service. It comes after a long litany of parables and Jesus’ prediction that the teachings he is bringing will cause divisions within households. He tells the crowd that they can look at the sky and figure out what the weather will be, but they are ignorant of what is happening now in their midst. These passages are often cross-referenced to the story of Jonah, who spent three days and three nights in the belly of a big fish before being coughed up on the shores of Nineveh where he told the Ninevehites to repent and return to God. They listened, which of course upsets Jonah who was hoping for a good old-fashioned God-whooping, but that’s not what I’m thinking about here.

No, as I heard the phrase, “Why do you not know how to interpret the present time,” my mind went to today, the 21^st Century world as I see it and experience it.   In this world of instant information at the click of a mouse, I feel as though we are more ignorant than we care to admit. There is no more discourse; just disagreement and shouting each other down.   And lots and lots of discontent everywhere.   I see that embodied in both the so-called Tea Party and the Occupy Wall Street movements. My heart is with the Occupy Wall Street folks because I definitely see myself as in the bottom third percentile of the 99-percent who are currently pissed off at the unfairness of our economic system. But I also recognize that the Tea Party and the Occupy protests are both grounded in a common frustration: they see themselves and those around them falling further and further behind economically. The difference is that one group blames the government and thinks rich people are going to save the world, and the other blames the rich folks and wants the government to right this sinking ship before it goes under.

All of this comes as I was just reading a passage about Karl Marx in my Education for Ministry text. Basically the text, which was written in 2006, acknowledges that many communist governments have collapsed due to economic failures. But it also notes that many communist theoreticians believe that global capitalism faces the possibility of collapse “under the weight of its own internal contradictions.” It left me wondering what will emerge from all of this. I am not a student of economics. I barely made it through my required course in college. But I wonder if there’s another economic model that will come to fore that we haven’t seen before. Capitalism, as has been promoted with its laissez-faire leave-the-rich-alone approach, seems to be having all of its warts exposed.   Marxism, on the other hand, seems a far too idealistic model that depends on the goodness of human nature and an ability to play well with others. If I could believe people would really buy into the idea that there is nothing wrong with sharing the wealth then I might be convinced that it would work. But I don’t think we are there. Yet.

So when I hear the question, “Why do you not know how to interpret the present time?” I’m left thinking, “Where are we going? Where are we headed?” I can’t turn to the media for much help on this because too much of it has become a forum for more scream fests.   For me, the present time calls for us to put down the megaphones, and shut up for a spell and listen. Somewhere, between the radical poles of left and right, I believe there is a Solomon-like answer to our economic mess. Will we have the wisdom to get there? Will we even have the will to work together or have we just become deadlocked in polar opposites?

Awards and Honors and God: Oh, My!

2011-10-16T09:38:00.002-04:00

I'm a winner!

Well, actually, I think of it more as I'm the representative of a winner organization.

The Family Tree, the local LGBT Community Center, presented me with an award for my work in starting the local PFLAG chapter, and for being so out and willing to be a voice for equality in our area.   When I received word of the award, I was genuinely shocked.   As I told the crowd Friday night, I do what I do because it's who I am. I am a person who has always been concerned about justice and wanting everyone to be treated fairly.  And I love getting together with the PFLAG group and watching parents and others emerge from their shells to become active in seeking equal rights for LGBT citizens. It's a lot easier to do justice work when there are others with you!

I never said a word about God in my remarks. This is not because I don't believe in God, or somehow think that I am doing this life by myself. On the contrary; I am reminded of God's presence in my life constantly. But I'm a New Englander, and it isn't customary for us to make overt expressions of our faith, especially in mixed company. There were some others who received honors who did make mention of being "blessed", which I appreciated hearing, and acknowledged the truth in that statement. All of us are blessed. All of us are loved. All we have to do is believe it. As I said, for me, I try to show Christ to the world in how I live, and move and have my being. This has always been for me the appropriate outward and visible way of being a Christian.

And it is the one that tends not to repel or offend other people.

But while I tend to take the more subdued approach, others are more willing to use a megaphone. Such was the case with one award recipient, who stated repeatedly that everything this person had comes from God. At the first mention I thought, "Wow! That's wonderful." But when it started to become a repeated mantra, I began to sense the growing discomfort in the room.   There were heavy sighs coming from tables behind me, and shifting in chairs.

I was sitting at a table with my friends from the Red Hills Pagan Council, some of whom get a little tired of the male image of God as the default in society. When our recipient repeated the line about all comes from God and added a "Some of you don't want to hear that!", one of the blind members of the Pagan group said quietly and with innocence, "Why would you say that?"

Perhaps that was said because that has been the experience of those of us who profess a faith in Christ within our queer communities.   Quite often, we are ridiculed and chided by our peer group for associating with "the enemy."   We are forced to defend ourselves from those who think that our Christianity means that we are the enemies of reason or certainly reasonableness.   All Christians have, in the minds of some, been lumped together in the camp of hate-filled, Bible-pounding, bigoted jerks. We aren't, of course. And it is very painful to have people who you otherwise enjoy being around make your life miserable when it comes to faith in God.

And yet, I have not given up on those friends. I am grounded in my faith, and it gives me the strength to remain standing in places of pleasure and pain in life. And even some of my most ardent "anti-religion" friends see that. And they puzzle over it.

Like I said, I don't feel the need to always use words to show the light of Christ that shines from me to others. I prefer it to happen in places like a PFLAG meeting where I am witness to people changing and softening their hearts, so that they can make a contribution to the struggle for justice.   I thank God for that privilege. And I thank the local LGBT community for the recognition of that work done by PFLAG.

Who Is To Prevent Me From Being Baptized? A Great Question!

2011-10-11T08:11:00.001-04:00

Holy God, no one is excluded from your love; and your truth transforms the minds of all who seek you: As your servant Philip was led to embrace the fullness of your salvation and to bring the stranger to Baptism, so give us all the grace to be heralds of the Gospel, proclaiming your love in Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.--Collect for Philip the Deacon

I can not think of a more appropriate celebration in the Episcopal lectionary for National Coming Out Day than to examine the work of Philip the Evangelist and Deacon, the one who baptized the Ethiopian eunuch in the Book of Acts. So many of the accounts in Acts speak to God's constant message that all beings are good... in fact we are very good. Somewhere along the way of living and having free will, the people of God have drawn lines in the sand, put up barriers and blockades, and have marginalized those seen as "other."

The account of Philip in Acts 8 has him running after the chariot where he finds the eunuch, definitely an "other", reading from the prophet Isaiah. To Philip's delight and amazement, the eunuch engages him in discussion about the text, opening the deacon to the chance to share the Gospel with this "other." As they see a body of water, the eunuch turns to Philip and asks, "What is it to prevent me from being baptized?"

The answer: nothing.  He was baptized and he sang praises to God as Philip went on his way.

The question the eunuch asks is one that many of the LGBT community still are asking. What is it to prevent me from also becoming part of the Body of Christ?   What is it to prevent me from being invited into this kingdom of God? What is it to prevent me from living into eternal life?

The answer: nothing.

Likewise, it is becoming increasingly evident that many of the mainline denominations of Christianity are following the lead of Philip.   The Spirit is moving them, guiding them, and giving them the green light to engage LGBT people and realize that the LGBT community has many members who are seeking to know God, be baptized into Christ and to serve in the church.   This past weekend, the Presbyterian Church U.S.A made Scott Anderson, an openly-gay man, a pastor in Wisconsin. Rev. Anderson had been a minister, but was outed by some in his congregation and was forced to leave ministry in 1990. Twenty-one years later, and after much prayerful debate, the Church is in a different place. And God is working his purpose out as year succeeds to year.

On this National Coming Out Day, I give thanks for the Spirit that moved Philip to run after that chariot and discover that the "other" is really just "another", one who was not only good but very good. And much love for the Ethiopian eunuch who engaged in studying the text of Isaiah and desired to learn of the expansive welcome of God. Indeed, Holy God... no one is excluded from your love. And you show that every day another person says, "I am who God has made me to be. And that is very good."

Something Went "Click"

2011-10-09T23:55:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, the messages I read in Scripture are not the same ones I hear.

That was the case this Sunday with the combo of the story of the Golden Calf from Exodus, and the wedding banquet parable from Matthew which ultimately ends up with the guest who is not in party clothes getting thrown out where there is "weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Like other parts of Matthew's gospel, one could hear in the story of the King throwing this great banquet for his son that many ignore that the wedding guest who does show up and isn't dressed for the party is an "undesirable"... whatever that "undesirable" might be.   One could call into question the grace of God (the King) in this story for rejecting this one unfortunate guest.   One could do and think a LOT of things about this and any passage of Scripture. And I imagine each of our interpretations would have some kernel of truth, but it wouldn't be the whole truth.

I was familiar enough with the Exodus reading as I was one of the readers at our 11:15 service. So, I had already prepared myself for this passage, likely a post-exile interpretation of events happening out in the desert which portrays Aaron as an opportunist making a Golden Calf out of the Hebrews jewelry while his brother Moses is up on the mountain getting instructions from God. Naughty Aaron!

I was having a hard time relating this story to the Gospel lesson. I read the Gospel, and read it again, and just couldn't see the connection.

But as I listened to the Gospel, I was struck that there was a parallel between what was happening with the Hebrew people who--again--were growing impatient in the desert and turning their attention to a Golden Calf rather than God. In Matthew's account of the King's amazing wedding banquet, the King is throwing a lavish wonderful party to celebrate his son's wedding. But the invited guests didn't bother to show up and instead went about doing other things.

And I could hear it in my head: "Click!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen: the creators of the church lectionary would like you to hear in this portion of the parable the story of the complaining Hebrews out in the desert with their molten idol." In fact, the whole idea of armies sent forth by the King to wipe out the ungrateful guests is very reminiscent of much of the lore in the Hebrew Scriptures.

But the King still has a banquet hall full of food, and a son who is getting married. So he tells his slaves to round up everyone and bring them in.

Suddenly, the hall is filled with people, the good and the bad, all there at the banquet table.

That sounds like my idea of Heaven!

So, what is this with the one guest who gets booted out? What's wrong with that guy? Didn't the slaves bring everyone, the good and the bad, to the banquet?

I don't think this is about whether or not this particular guest is good or bad... and I don't think this is about the garments he's wearing. But this guy probably came in the door and refused to accept that this invite had come from the King. It's not that his clothes are in disarray, but he's ungrateful for what's been placed before him. He is the proverbial party-pooper. And so the King places him out with all the rest of the party-poopers. And perhaps, once he's wept long enough, he will come to the party with a better attitude.

This parable is one that Jesus tells after he has arrived in Jerusalem and is preparing for the showdown that will lead to his death. He's been trying to tell everyone that there's a party going on and they're all invited. And while he has some takers on this idea, he also is threatening to the establishment, and they are party-poopers.

And so while some in the Church may like to see the last line about "many are called, but few are chosen" as proof that some are elect, special, saved, etc., I prefer to see this story as more of Jesus' efforts to get his Jewish audience to get back to God... the one from Exodus who "brought you up out of the land of Egypt." Recognize that God is the source of your lavish banquet, and the appropriate response to the invite is to say, "Cheers! Thanks a lot!"

Click!!

In the Days of Awe

2011-10-08T19:36:00.000-04:00

Jews around the world have been marking the past ten days as the period known as the days of Awe. It's a time of introspection and self-assessment and seeking forgiveness for those things done and left undone.

So, it was interesting to me that at our noon day Eucharist yesterday, the lessons assigned for Henry Muhlenberg were appropriate for the days of Awe. Particularly the Gospel lesson from Matthew, the one about what to do when a neighbor is acting in a way that injures you:

‘If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.’--Matt 18: 15-20

As I have said before on this blog, this is a passage that has been used by some to justify why they are kicking a particular member or members out of the congregation. And while this wasn't the reading paired with this Gospel at the Eucharist, the First Corinthians lesson from Paul I think should be read along side this Matthew passage:

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.
Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members, yet one body.--1 Corinthians 12: 12-20

When I put these two passages together, I am in awe. In awe of how the call is for us to always try to remain in relationship, not just with God, but with each other.

I had a reminder of that this week when I randomly plugged a cassette into my portable recorder, intending to lay down some tracks with my lines for some Faust skits so I could rehearse. Instead, I decided to listen through to what was on the tape. It was an interview from the NPR program "Fresh Air with Terri Gross" and her guest was New Hampshire Bishop Gene Robinson.   The time frame was clearly early 2008. Bishop Gene had been denied an invitation to the Lambeth Conference in England, a snub of major proportions. He talked about the tension and the anger and the fear gripping the Anglican Communion on the topic of human sexuality. What was remarkable, and always the hallmark of listening to the bishop, is how he could talk about the situation calmly and with love. Because Bishop Gene understands the essential truth: we are all part of the one Body, even when we don't like one another, and our obligation in Christ is to always stay at the table even when we feel the neighbor is wronging us. To have a community, or a communion, you have to be willing to talk and listen and hash it out.  That's one of the lessons out of the reading from Matthew's gospel. And, not to hop up another level on the soap box, that is one of the flaws I see in the proposed Anglican Covenant put forth by the Archbishop of Canterbury. My reading of the document is that it encourages leaving the conversation too early to take your beef with your neighbor to a panel of "Father Knows Best" leaders who will use a ruler to whap the neighbor about the head.  There isn't much room for forgiveness there, and even less room for us to be in awe.

Perhaps that's what most of us should be doing these days: taking a moment to consider the awesomeness of a spirit that leads us all through difficult conversations, tense moments, and disagreements that, as painful as they might be, really aren't going to kill any of us.  It can work, if we are willing to let it happen. And that's the test of our faith.

Happy St. Francis of Assisi Day

2011-10-04T00:01:00.001-04:00

My cat would no sooner agree to be present at a Blessing of the Animals ritual than she would agree that a trip to the vet's office is "fun".   For one thing, my pledge to my partner at the time of her conversion was that we would raise our cat Jewish. The cat seems to have taken this to heart. She delights in listening to practice tapes of Jewish High Holy Day music... and leaves the room if I start reciting verses from the New Testament. Her favorite stuffed toy is Hanny the Hanukkah teddy bear. She hasn't quite mastered the laws of Kashrut. She seems to believe that Torah provides an exception for cats, allowing them to eat shrimp and crab.

So while she won't allow me to have her blessed, I still reflect on what a blessing she has been in our lives.  Often times, cats are seen as aloof, uninterested, or too skittish to be much of a companion.   But our cat is the opposite. True, she enjoys having her space and her alone time, but she also likes to be in the room with us in the evening, curled up between us on the couch or lying somewhere where she can see us.   She comes trotting up to greet either me or my partner when we come home. And she likes to hide behind trees or bushes so she can jump out at us in an element of surprise attack, and then dash down the driveway or up a tree trunk. Our job is to notice and be admiring, perhaps chase her a bit.

One morning last summer I broke down crying on the bed. I had been in some physical discomfort for a week, and I was just miserable. As I was sobbing, and crying out to God to "do something!", I heard the cat in the hallway, doing her trill, as she jumped up on the bed with me. This was the "something". My cat had come to be with me. I scooped her up in my arms and held her as she purred. And slowly, I came back to that place of homeostasis, and I could believe those words of Julian of Norwich that "all shall be well."

Animals add joy, happiness and love to our lives, which is of course what their patron saint, Francis of Assisi, knew.  They are creatures of God who share the planet with us, and are good companions to young and old. That's the true blessing of the animals.

A New Thing for October 2nd

2011-10-02T07:03:00.001-04:00

Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. --Phil 3: 13-14

When we last left our blogging adventure, I was considering the phrase in the collect about running after the promises of God. In the reading from St. Paul's letter to the Phillipians, I find myself reflecting on the notion that part of the race after God is the commitment to shedding the baggage we don't need. The sprint, even when it slows to a stroll, along the path toward God requires keeping the eyes fixed forward and not searching constantly behind at what is being left or looking over here or over there to see what other people are getting or not getting as the case may be. The mission for each of us is to journey forward in peace "to love and serve the Lord." Thanks be to God!

Nothing could be more appropriate for this inauspicious date in the life of my congregation at St. John's Episcopal Church. It was on this very date--Sunday, October 2, 2005--that the then-rector ascended into the pulpit and did the unthinkable: he announced he was leaving and taking the vestry and others with him to start a new "Anglican" church. Anyone who stayed behind, or wasn't invited to leave, was apparently labeled "unorthodox". Needless to say, it caused a number of the St. John's faithful much pain and anguish. Friendships ended, and in some cases, families were split.

But as with all things, out of what seemed like a death came new life. There were many, including me, who had stayed away from the building because we did not believe we would be welcomed in (certainly, the headlines St. John's was making during those dark years before "the split" made it abundantly clear that we queer people were not invited into the church.) With the "Anglican" departure, a new normal could take root. And over these past six years, many fresh faces have entered into St. John's... and stayed... and become involved. From the many tears shed has come laughter. New friendships have formed. Baptisms and confirmations and reaffirmations take place to continue growing the good works that are meant to be. Because, at the end of the day, St. John's like any church is not about the priests, or the fine linens or even the amazing choir. It's about God and the ongoing story of the people of God as it is lived through each of us. And again we say, "Thanks be to God."

The baggage that came with the St. John's of those years can be left at the curb. The weight of it was too much for the trip and certainly prevented people from "running" after the promises of a God who has pledged an unconditional love for each of us. As I like to tell people, "When driving, it's best to keep your eyes on the road as seen through the windshield and not the rearview mirror."

That's much of what Paul seems to be telling the Gentiles who make up the Church at Phillipi. Paul is in prison, and the Phillipians (who seem to be one his favorite groups), are understandably concerned about what's happened to him. But Paul encourages them to not let the baggage of worry about him keep them down. Instead, he pushes them to remain in joy... and reminds himself in the process... that the real "goal of the prize" is about following in the ways of Christ Jesus, even when that means facing a hostile crowd that wants to kill you. Those ways of Christ are summed up in the Hebrew Scriptures assigned for today with the recounting of the Ten Commandments from Exodus; ten instructions which Jesus would later boil down into a condensed version: Love God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

That is plenty to carry on the spiritual journey, and is really the only baggage we need.

Is that Running "To" or Running "From"

2011-09-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

The collect for this week has an interesting phrase that continuously catches my attention:

"Grant us the fullness of your (God's) grace, that we, running to obtain your promises, may become partakers of your heavenly treasure..."

Running to obtain your promises. I find that in my own life, I both run to those promises but when I get too close, I feel myself skidding to a stop and realizing, "I better run away!" This is the life of one who reads the story of Jonah with great appreciation for our misfit prophet who'd rather hide than go do as God commands. I understand that behavior because I am that behavior. A lot.

It's the contradiction of me as I keep following along after God down whatever path we're on together. I'll sprint, and then I'll get that sense of "Yikes!" and I'll start moving in the other direction only to find myself turned around again back in the way in which I was going with God initially. The one comfort I have in all of this is that when I consider the history of the people of God as reported to us in the Scriptures, I am definitely not alone! Many people, both individuals and whole groups, have done this same running to and running away from the promises. Tonight and into tomorrow, Jews around the world will be contemplating and considering the story of Abraham and Isaac as part of Rosh Hashanah. Definitely a story of how Abraham kept running after the promises of God, even though he was being asked to do something as horrific as to sacrifice his only son on an altar. The story doesn't tell us if Abraham had an internal misgivings; only that he was doing as he was commanded to do. In the end, he does not have to sacrifice his son. But his unquestioning willingness to do whatever it was that God asked is seen as a sign of Abraham's loyalty to God. Isaac lives, and from Isaac and Rebecca we have Jacob and Esau (the former to become "Israel").

I'm not sure that I would be able to have gone as far as Abraham went in the binding of Isaac story without asking some questions! It wouldn't exactly have been "running away", but I think my sprint might have slowed down to a stroll.

"Wicked, Seditious and Dangerous"

2011-09-23T09:18:00.000-04:00

Warning: the following is a shameless plug for the work I do in PFLAG-Tallahassee!

I am exhausted. Not just by the news, or my work, or my volunteer activities, but by the speed reading that I've done over the past several weeks of ten... count 'em ten... books and novels with LGBT themes. OK, some of them have been children's picture books, but that's still a whole lot of marathon reading for me. I've enjoyed it, and it's made me sad. Because these books are among those so often targeted by censors who claim that anything that hints at acceptance of LGBT people is "wicked, seditious and dangerous."

On Sunday, our PFLAG organization is going to give these books a chance to be heard!

We've planned a benefit that fits in with National Banned Books Week. Readers, including some local heavy-hitters such as Sheila Ortiz Taylor, Terry Galloway and Kati Schardl, will take to the stage at Tallahassee's Mickee Faust Clubhouse and read works such as "The Well of Loneliness", "Annie On My Mind", "The Color Purple", "King and King" and "And Tango Makes Three."

These and other books have been the target of censors who will stop at nothing to keep young people from discovering that there are gay families or lesbian moms, or kids struggling with the feelings they have about themselves and their attraction to the same gender. Given the serious issue of teen suicide among LGBT youth, these books can give a child a chance to read about those things that feel the most real to them. Teachers have been fired for including the books in their curriculum; librarians have been forced to remove the books from the shelves. And some novels have been burned publicly.

The event gets underway at 6:30pm when the doors open. We have silent auction items from local businesses such as New Leaf Market, Native Nurseries, Synergy Salon, Taste Budz, Fermentation Lounge, Joe's Bike Shop and more. The readings will begin at 7pm. Tickets to the event can be purchased ahead of time at www.mickeefaust.com or at the door. Entry is $10 general admission; $5 students, seniors and people with disabilities. All the proceeds go to PFLAG-Tallahassee.

(if you can't attend, you can still assist PFLAG-Tallahassee by purchasing a ticket through the Faust website).

End of shameless plug!

We Are Not A Better World

2011-09-22T00:43:00.001-04:00

The state of Georgia has killed Troy Anthony Davis.

Davis was convicted of shooting a Savannah police officer in August, 1989. The officer, Mark MacPhail, was off-duty serving as a security guard at a Burger King when he tried to break up a fight where a homeless man was being beaten.

Davis had maintained he wasn't responsible for MacPhail's death. And in recent months, seven of the nine witnesses who helped to put him at the scene of the crime with the .38 pistol recanted their earlier testimony. Numerous prominent people, from former President Jimmy Carter to the Pope, had spoken out against his conviction and argued for prosecutors to look at the evidence again and let Troy Davis go.

Also in the mix was the MacPhail family, who lost their son to an act of violence when he was trying to protect another. Understandably devastated, they have been waiting for the man convicted of killing their son, brother, father, husband to pay the price handed down by the court in 1991. Prosecutors had convinced them Davis was the guilty man. And they wanted their justice.

This is the world of the death penalty. Justice through vengeance. One violent act answered with another violent act. The only difference being that one happened in a parking lot of Burger King with a pistol and the other was done in a sterile, methodical, slow drip of lethal injection in a prison. Killing Troy Davis does not restore the life of Mark MacPhail. But it does add to the body count in the case.

I have witnessed a state execution. I know its surreal atmosphere. I have witnessed both the families of murder victims and the families of the accused sitting in a soup of misery and grief. At the end of the day, we may want to say that an execution means "justice has been served." But what it really means is we have usurped the power of God to mete out the real justice in favor of our often-flawed version of it.

I hope that Troy, who maintained his innocence even on the gurney, is resting in peace with God. And I especially pray for the Davis and MacPhail families that they may know the peace of God in a world that doesn't seem that peaceful.

It's Getting Better... But Not Fast Enough For Some

2011-09-20T23:50:00.002-04:00

Today, so many across the country celebrated the once-and-for-all end of Don't Ask Don't Tell. I stopped by the Midtown Filling Station and toasted some of our local queer vets, hugged a couple more at the Mickee Faust Club, and felt the lightness in my own body of knowing that one of the more discriminatory policies of the past was done.

And then my heart sank.

In the Buffalo, NY, suburb of Williamsville, 14 year-old Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide on Sunday. His parents say Jamey was bullied in middle school with anti-gay slurs and taunts.

The above video is Jamey's "It Gets Better" statement to other kids. He was a fan of the pop star, Lady Gaga. The last message he sent on his Twitter account: @ladygaga bye mother monster, thank you for all you have done, paws up forever.

On a day of much rejoicing, it is a boy like Jamey who reminds us that our work continues. Lady Gaga certainly does try to instill in her fans an understanding that they are beautiful beings worthy of love. PFLAG works tirelessly at promoting a message that all people deserve equal rights. And while the It Gets Better project has its heart in a very good place, I prefer our PFLAG message of "Make It Better Now!" The Jameys of the world need to know that their schools and social clubs are safe, and harrassment via the internet won't be tolerated either.

It's ironic that the Big Bend Anti-Bullying Task Force in Leon County was showing the film, "Bullied" again tonight. Perhaps someone should ship a copy of the film to Jamey's high school in upstate New York.

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell chapter is closed. I look forward to when we finish the chapters on things such as bullicide of queer teens. One day, this country will get bored with the Book of Homophobia. But we are far from the end at this point.

Grant O Lord, Jamey, eternal rest
And may light perpetual shine upon him.

Envious of Generosity

2011-09-19T00:51:00.001-04:00

In today's world, where you have 1,500 people applying to work for companies that only are hiring for 100 positions, the Gospel lesson from Matthew likely stings.

No, it burns!

Jesus tells the parable of the vineyard owner who needs workers. He hires one crew early in the morning for "the usual daily wage." Three hours later, he is bringing in another group that he finds standing idly and agrees to pay them "whatever is right." He does the same thing at noon, at three in the afternoon, and finally hires a crew for the last hour of the work day. When it's time to give everyone their wages, the ones who had been working all day are expecting a bigger paycheck. But they find that everybody, including the ones who had only worked an hour, got the same wage. They stamp their feet. They pound their fists. They mutter under the breath about the "unfairness" of the whole thing. But the vineyard owner notes that this is his money to give out. He'd said they'd get the usual daily wage... and he fulfilled that contract. And he asks, "Are you envious because I am generous?"

In the ministry of helping the unemployed and underemployed, I hear similar complaints. Why do we help the homeless when the middle class is getting squeezed to the point of wondering if they will be the homeless? Why don't we notice the person sitting in the pew and hurting for lack of work? Why are recently unemployed state workers getting all the media attention while the long-term unemployed have been forgotten? (The latter can be answered simply: large employer, massive lay-offs=media coverage).

I understand the frustration. Is it that people care more for the truly destitute than the almost-destitute? No, not necessarily. Mostly, I think people just aren't aware of how much pain is sitting around them in a church because those inside the sanctuary don't appear to be in such dire straits as the person begging on a street corner across from the church. What is sad is when the almost-poor begin to begrudge the really destitute what little charity is offered to them. That does recall this question of being envious of the generosity.

Just like with the loaves and the fishes, I think the point of this parable is that God is generous, and will give us exactly what we need. There is no need for us to look to the right and to the left to figure out who is getting more because what we need is right under our own noses, and we should be focused on and paying attention to that; not what the other guy got.

And I find this parable in Matthew speaks to something even more amazing and profound, especially for those of us who refused to open the party invitation from God until later in life:

God is always inviting more people into the vineyard... and even if they only spend the last hour of the day in the vineyard, they too are showered with grace. As I prepared my spiritual autobiography for my EfM class, I was overcome with how it doesn't matter to God when we come into the vineyard to work: God just wants us to put on our work gloves and join in picking the fruit from the vine. Later, we'll eat grapes and press some into some of the smoothest wine imaginable!   Welcome to this party where the abundance and generosity overflow. We don't need to be envious of this. We just need to enjoy that we are part of a celebration. And this is one party invite that is a true open door and not a pink slip into hell.

I'm not saying that God will be giving out paychecks and health benefits. Sadly, those are things that are more of Caesar's realm, not God's. But my encouragement to those stuck in this jobless rut is to avoid the side glance to see what everyone else is getting or not getting in the way of assistance. That's a sure-fire trip to anger and resentment which will exude from your pores and make you an "undesirable" employee. Keep your eyes forward, lean into God and ask for help, and be ready when your plea is answered even in truly unexpected ways.

A Cautionary Church Tale

2011-09-17T14:08:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time, a stranger wandered through the doors of an Episcopal Church in a neighborhood of a large city. The stranger didn't look very different from the others inside. The church had a moderate attendance that morning, but was hardly full, so the stranger took a seat in one of the last third of the pews, and settled in for prayerful reflection.

As the processional anthem began, another woman came in and seemed to want to sit in the same row with the stranger. The stranger made room and all was well. Until after the first lesson, the woman noticed someone familiar and moved up a few pews to sit with her friend, leaving the stranger to sit alone again.

At the end of the service, the stranger lingered in the pew. No one around the stranger said, "Hello" or "Good morning." No one inquired who this stranger was. Not even the priests at the door bothered to find out who was this otherwise unknown character. It was assembly-line time: a handshake, a nod of the head, and out the door.

The stranger wandered away... never to be seen again.

I tell this story because it is what has happened to me... even as recently as a few weeks ago.   Churches become these insular country clubs where everyone knows who their friends are, and nobody takes time to greet someone new. Priests are so pre-occupied, or self-absorbed, that they don't inquire about the new face in the crowd or make a point of having someone or someones on hand to take on that role of greeter. The sad part is that the stranger, or more appropriately, this stranger having felt no real contact from the congregation or the priest will walk out the door, and the likelihood that he or she will return? Nill.

I walked into St. John's in the late winter of 1991, desperate to find an Episcopal Church that embodied the spirit of Christ and the liturgy in a way that didn't seem so foreign to this "yankee" Episcopalian.   I walked away from St. John's in the late summer of 1991 because it was easy to leave. No one had noticed me coming and going, or attempted to make me feel welcomed in their midst. And with a new love life brewing and tugging at my interests, it was easy to let go of a community that had kept me a stranger.

Because I have had this experience of church, I make a point of being warm toward the people I don't recognize at St. John's.  Often times, I discover they are someone who is just trying us out for a Sunday, or is passing through town and came to church. In those cases, I let them know that they can always come back. It's an important component I think to making our otherwise large smells-and-bells church feel like a home of God and not just a house of God.

One church I visited did an interesting thing. As a way of immediately tackling that wall between the church cliques and the visitors, the priest stepped out in front of the congregation before the service began, and asked everyone to take a moment and greet each other in the pews.   This was not the passing of the peace, but rather a simple acknowledgement of one another's existence. It was nice, and suddenly I felt less like a stranger and more like a part of the group.

Such little things do make a difference.

What Would Jesus Experience?

2011-09-14T23:33:00.000-04:00

H/T The Christian Left

I posted this a few days ago on Facebook, but that was before the Republican Presidential debate on CNN where the so-called Tea Party was the sponsor. During the debate Ron Paul, who some are trying to characterize as the "moderate voice" in the field of fools running hard to the right, offered that a 30 year-old man who has no health insurance and then becomes dangerously ill should be left for dead.

Why should we have a social safety net? Or worse--why should we entertain a socialistic approach to health care like universal coverage? The video reminded me of what I wrote in 2009 in "Send 'Em A Bill."

Yes, if Jesus were a candidate for President of the United States, I'd say he'd be polling pretty badly. Damn dirty hippie!

Forgiving 77 Times...Especially on 9-11

2011-09-11T09:01:00.001-04:00

I know exactly where I was 10 years ago on the sunny September 11th in Tallahassee, FL.   I was on my way to a doctor's appointment having heard Bob Edwards on NPR talk about a plane that had flown into the World Trade Center. A few minutes later, he announced that a second plane had flown into the other tower. At the doctor's office, the nurses had a television playing in the back. I heard someone call out that one of the towers of the WTC was collapsing. And that's when I leapt into reporter action mode. I told the receptionist that I would have to reschedule, and then I called to get my assignment: go to the Florida Emergency Operations Center and find out what was being done (or could be done) to deal with the situation.   Our Governor was the President's brother and, as it turned out, the President was in our state that morning. And with no clue what this was about, all the states were putting emergency plans into action.

When I got to the EOC, I came upon the St. Petersburg Times reporter standing outside the door, her face ashen.

"Another plane has crashed in a field in Pennsylvania."

All of us were baffled. And I'll say that I was scared. Even though these events were unfolding several hundred miles away, it felt dangerously close. And I was worried about friends and family in New York City and the surrounding areas. I breathed a sigh of relief to know that my mom's flight out west for a PFLAG meeting was scheduled for a different date. And I was chilled when I learned a family friend, on his way to Los Angeles, had opted to take his flight from Manchester, NH, instead of Boston's Logan Airport. He'd considered one of the doomed flights, but was instead on a plane that had to be grounded in Indianapolis in the wake of the chaos.

I also remember the sinking feeling in my gut that the United States would not respond well to this attack. I worried about misplaced anger and unleashing unbridled hatred toward all Muslims. Even though I was part of the "unchurched" at the time, I felt that our supposedly "Christian nation" would show itself to be less than what Jesus commanded. The God that I yearned for at this time would have had us grapple with our pain... made worse by images beamed to us from the Middle East where Arabs danced in the streets celebrating our misery... and try to arrive at a new place.

I believe that is part of the underlying message in the readings that happened to be assigned for today's lectionary in the Episcopal Church.

Paul's letter to the Romans asks a question that I think dogs us in our culture: "Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God."

We, the United States, took the attack on 9-11 as the opportunity to start the ball rolling toward war on Iraq, even though there was no evidence that the Iraqi government had had anything to do with 9-11. We launched a major crackdown on lots of Muslims in our midst, whether they were suspect or not. Mosques were defaced.  Arab-Americans found themselves scrutinized more closely. And some of the truly lunatic fringe decided to burn the Quran. We also began to let go of many of our freedoms guaranteed in the U.S. Constituion in favor of allowing for more of a police state.   And anyone--anyone!--who questioned our government was labeled as unpatriotic. Whether we want to believe it or not, the terrorists were winning.

And Paul's question echoes, "Why? Why? WHY?" Because the actions of an extremist group led us into the rut of divisiveness. In the days after the attack, there was a panel discussion at one of the downtown churches with a Muslim Imam, the Rabbi from Temple Israel, and a couple of Christian pastors. The aim was something of a teach-in on the Abrahamic religions. And to try to answer Paul's question to the Romans with a determination that we, in Tallahassee, would not succumb to scapegoating Muslims, but instead see them as another limb on the tree of life-affirming faith in God. In at least this one cell, there would be hope that might spread to the rest of the body. But that cell didn't split and reproduce itself fast enough.

Matthew's gospel lesson takes Paul's instruction a step further. Paul advises us to get out of the business of judging others and allow God to take care of that. Jesus hammers home that it's not enough to stop judging others, but to forgive those who judge you. And not just the requisite seven times; seventy-seven times! In other words, if we have been so graced by God's forgiveness of our sins, we must be prepared to pass along the Love to others likewise.

Given how much replay has been done this week on the events of 9-11, it may seem a daunting task to think of forgiveness for an act so cruel, so hateful, and so targeted as to be random.   All in the Middle East today who say they are sorry for the massive loss of life that occured on that day also talk of their anger at our government which often props up the meanest leaders of foreign nations. The anger is understandable from where they sit. Our tight ties to Israel, ones forged at the end of WW II, muddy the waters as well. So many ancient wounds have never healed in that region, and the USA is a part of that quagmire.

And while I believe we have a moral obligation to stick with Israel, I think we have an additional responsibility to be like the older sibling to our friend and push for better relations between Israel and all the inhabitants within its borders.

But back to the main lesson: forgiveness. Are we, 10 years later, able to find forgiveness? In a way, I think the young people I was listening to from Egypt were moving in that direction.  Before forgiveness, there needs to be a recognition that someone has been wronged. And, as far-fetched as it might seem, I continue to hope that all of us can acknowledge that our governments have not always acted in ways becoming of God... YHWH... or Allah.   My continued hope for humanity is that we could have the same kind of calm, reasoned exchange as was exhibited one night in Tallahassee amongst our city's Abrahamic religious leaders.

None of us will ever forget 9-11. None of us should ever accept such violence as an answer. But we can move toward a place of pausing, and forgiving that we will never be able to control the actions of extremists, but we don't have to become like them.

PFLAG Statement on Shannon Washington Murder

2011-09-10T13:12:00.000-04:00

Shannon Washington, photo by FAMUan newspaper

I will be posting more of my spiritual/cultural/theological brain firings over this weekend. But for now, I want to acknowledge the tragic death of a 20 year-old FAMU women's basketball player... a case of domestic violence within the LGBT community. As noted, I was out-of-town during the Labor Day weekend when Shannon Washington and her partner Starquineshia Palmer were apparently engaged in a rapidly escalating battle between each other. Palmer stabbed Washington in the neck and back, and according to reports, surrendered to police saying, "I did it. I killed her."

Last night, there was a gathering of those in the LGBT community to mourn, and discuss how to prevent this from happening in the future. At a minimum, we need to educate law enforcement and others on the realities of abuse in same-sex relationships (which mirror the incidence in the heterosexual population) and the difficulties encountered by lesbians, and especially gay men and transgender people, when it comes to report such abuse. FAMU President Dr. James Ammons told students at the historically-black college that Shannon's murder should serve as a "teachable moment" about being careful about choosing your friends. My only concern with that statement is that in the African-American community, homophobia runs hot... and such advice might be taken as, "Stay away from 'the gay'!" I hope that is not what he meant.

Below is the statement I issued on behalf of PFLAG-Tallahassee:

“PFLAG-Tallahassee joins with many in our community in mourning the violent death of FAMU student-athlete Shannon Washington. In a world where one’s sexual or gender identity has been used by those filled with hatred to justify beating and killing LGBT people, a death like Shannon’s is even more shocking because it happened within the context of a same-sex relationship. Relationships should be based on love and respect. The home should be a place filled with that love and safety. PFLAG-Tallahassee offers a place for families and friends and LGBT people to gather in love, and move equality forward, one person and one family at a time. We continue in our commitment to help people find resources and support as they navigate their way toward healthy relationships.”

Dry to The Bone

2011-09-06T22:19:00.002-04:00

My partner and I just returned from the excessively dry Austin, TX, area. No doubt, you are aware of the wildfires that were raging in Bastrop forcing the evacuation of residents. Bastrop is on the route we normally would have taken out of Austin. Instead, we went north trying to avoid Tropical Storm Lee as it dumped a foot of rain in the areas of Louisiana and Mississippi that we also would have passed through to come home.

Seeing the dryness of the landscape, especially in stark contrast to the lush green of the Louisiana highways, made me heartsick. Cattle huddle under the few trees out in the fields. Sheep and goats were pecking away at the few blades of grass poking up from the earth. And people are shaking their heads and wondering why they're being left so high and dry. Global warming, anyone? I have no other explanation for why Texas is drying up while New England is having to watch the tropics for hurricanes in the same way Floridians do.

Dear God, giver of life and source of all our bounty; pour forth your gentle rains upon the state of Texas. Give them water to replenish their lakes and streams, and allow the fruits of your creation to bud and grow. And give the people the hope that you will sustain them. Amen.

It's Complicated

2011-09-02T09:21:00.000-04:00

I seem to be going through another one of those growth spurts in my faith journey. And I can feel it in my day-to-day living and relating to other people.

I’m challenged. I find myself really challenged to see the Christ in people who seem to see the Satan in me. My lesbian sexual orientation, for them, proves that I am possessed by a demon and that if I were really a Christian, I would not be a queer Christian.

In their world, God doesn’t like the taste of fruits.

These are the same people who would turn on their own children if their child were to reveal their orientation to them and beat them black and blue. This, apparently, is the “Christian” response to those whom you once loved, but now must hate because they are possessed.

As a PFLAG leader, I am challenged with how to reach out to the pockets in our community who see me as a fallen angel out to tempt their children into “that lifestyle.” Seeing me in their midst not proselytizing but standing with them may have some impact, but not enough for them to see the Christ in me.

As a Christian, I am then doubly-challenged to see the Christ in them, and to offer forgiveness for their trespass against me.

This is all part of what it is to remain in a relationship with God. This ability to feel the pain of rejection and anger and hatred, and yet not fall into that Hell hole of retaliating in kind. This is what seems to be the way of God, “The Way” that Christ left behind for his apostles to carry on. And since I believe that apostolic succession is not just for bishops, but is for all of us, then if I truly put on the mantle of Christ, I must be prepared for the arrows that will try to pierce that mantle. Holding my own with God’s help, and not back-sliding, seems to be the answer. I will wrestle with these things, but even if my hip joint is put out of place, I will survive.

This is a most complicated relationship.

Incredibly Shrinking God Part Two

2011-08-31T09:45:00.000-04:00

Last week, I heard something that I really wish I had not heard.

It was an interview on the NPR talk show, "Fresh Air" with an author who has been following and studying a group known as the New Apostolic Reformation.

This movement, which has swept up the likes of Republican presidential candidates Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann among others, has a theology that I believe makes God the Almighty into God the dwarfish gnome.  One of their primary beliefs is that the world fell into the hands of Satan at the time of Adam and Eve. And now it's time for people to help God gain control of the world again by taking over the "Seven Mountains" for the Glory of God.   These "mountains" are arts, media, business, religion, family, education and government.   They want to bring about a new kind of protestant reformation in which there are no longer denominations, but one mega-protestant religion.   They're on a mission to cast out the hierarchical legion of demons that occupy the "Seven Mountains" and reclaim the souls of whole groups for "Gee-zus".

Yes, whole group conversion. None of this namby-pamby stuff of the old school evangelicals with individual conversion. They need to get a critical mass of Jews in Israel to accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God in order to bring about the End Times.   And they need to eliminate the "demons": abortion rights, gay rights, and the end of any social safety nets while allowing for a laissez-faire market mentality.

This theological outlook, called Dominionism, makes God into the biggest loser.   God, in this realm, is such a bumbling idiot that the Almighty has lost the world, and now needs Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann to save it for God with their superfriends Lou Engle and Mike Bickle??

Yes, I will laugh at the absurdity of it all. But secretly, I am a bit nervous because these folks have a lot of money. Tons and tons of money. Rick Perry practically sneezes hundred dollar bills.   Lou Engle and others of his ilk have been the ones making forays into Uganda and other African nations to stir the pot of prejudice and homophobia. And Michelle Bachmann... well, when she is touted as the smartest of the bunch at a GOP debate in New Hampshire and wins the Iowa straw poll...

But what kind of deity is it that these folks worship?   Is it the same God of Love who showed us all victory over death through Jesus Christ?   And how can they be believing in the same God that I believe in when they openly declare me to be "anti-Christ" by virtue of my sexual orientation? Of course, Bachmann's husband claims to have a "cure" for my affliction. But I imagine in the coming months or so, we will learn that he has been fighting to "cure" himself of this same affliction. That is so often the case with the most ardent homophobes. And why wouldn't it be?   If they don't believe that "God is Love and where true love is God himself is there", if they really believe there is a legion of hierarchical demons running the world and God is powerless to help those who call out for God's assistance, then--yeah-- self-loathing is the logical next step.

There is no way to reason with people who believe in this Dominionism theology. But I believe it is important for those of us with a belief in a much larger, broader, and ultimately more powerful God to recognize that this movement is afoot, and is aiming to, among other things, steeplejack our churches. The folks who carry the banner of this New Apostolic Reformation are in bed with those who have been attacking the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion as a whole. And they would like to hijack other mainline denominations as well... all in the name of reclaiming the church from "the demons" that recognize God as having ultimate power.

The collect for this week in the Episcopal Church encourages the increase in us of "true religion." I believe that "true religion" places God at the front and center with the earth under His proverbial feet. God is in the world as God has been for eons before and will be even after we're gone.   God doesn't need us to defeat demons for God. God has already defeated the demons. We are the ones who must wrestle with our own demons in the timeless struggle of living into faith and not fear.   The New Apostolic Reformation movement definitely creates a challenge for me in that department.

Broken Trust

2011-08-30T12:38:00.000-04:00

I have a part two to my "Incredibly Shrinking God" post, but today I'm reflecting some more on a most disturbing event.

On Sunday, my beloved picked me up from St. John's and when we got home, we discovered that someone had tried to break into our house by smashing the glass out of one of our window panes. This occurred sometime in the morning when many in the neighborhood were either asleep, at church, or otherwise out-and-about. Luckily, the fact that our window was painted shut seemed to foil whoever this was and they gave up.

It was such a weird juxtaposition. The day before, I had been out with a group of my fellow citizens helping to pick up garbage off the streets of one of our crime-ridden sections of town which is only a mile-and-a-half from my house. The people in the neighborhood watched us as we scoured overgrown roadways and bushes for the beer bottles, empty plastic containers, condom packages, and tons and tons of cigarette butts. They would ask us what we were doing. We'd tell them we were helping to pick up their neighborhood. Some would sigh and say, "Well, it's gonna get trashed again in another ten minutes." And our group would say, "Then we'll come back and pick it up again." The point was to give people in this community the sense that somebody sees that they're suffering from neglect, and is stepping in to help. And I don't doubt that the leaders of this particular coalition will be marshaling the troops again to help this neighborhood.

And then the next day--smash--a rock through our window.

St. Paul's letter to the Romans from this past Sunday ends on the line, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." A good lesson to bear in mind as a grapple with my feelings of broken trust in our human family. My suspicion is that this was done by a teenager. A professional wouldn't have given up so easily. I do hope that whoever did this will one day get caught trying to do it again. And I hope that rather than put them into the meat grinder of our justice system, they be made to face who they have hurt with their actions. I think facing the one injured is more likely to result in the heaping of burning coals upon the head. And that's where I'm at with all of this.

The Incredible Shrinking God

2011-08-25T22:56:00.001-04:00

Maybe it's Texas Governor Rick Perry and his "God told me to run for President."

Maybe it's the news about the Mount Dora (FL) High School Social Studies teacher and his Facebook postings this summer declaring that God opposes same-sex marriage.

Maybe it's just daily living in the land of the church marquee signs.

Whatever "it" is, I have been thinking a lot lately about the ways in which we try to shrink God down to matchbox size. Make God small enough so we can carry our deity in our pockets and pull out this "God possession" to back whatever agenda we have developed for the Almighty.

Christianity is really good at this making of the miniature God.  I can understand why that is. We acknowledge that Jesus Christ was fully human and fully divine, Emmanuel--God among us--during his time on the planet. And for some Christians, Jesus becomes so much the focus of their belief in God that they somehow miss the part where he tells Mary at the tomb to not hold onto him for he has not ascended to the Father (John 20: 15-18). Or perhaps they didn't hear in the words of Jesus that they shouldn't form such an attachment to his flesh and blood self that they are deaf to his words when he says "whatever you do to the least of these you do to me." They fail to see him existing in our fellow brothers and sisters, both Christian and non-Christian.   There is a desire to clutch hold of Christ, so much so that he never gets off the cross, never is resurrected and certainly never ascends. And he becomes the "personal" Lord and Savior for tons of people.  Suddenly, Jesus becomes the claimed instead of the one claiming us.

And God has been shrunk to fit inside our own personal pocket agenda! Now that we've got God, we are invincible and we are convinced of our own b.s.

This is not the kind of God I worship. And this is not the Jesus I believe to be the Son of God, the incarnation of God among us.

For me, God was only giving us a glimpse of God's self when Jesus came into the world to live and die as one of us.   The Jesus example was a mission of reclamation of those who had let too many "things" get between them and the God who had been with them and their ancestors in every moment of light and darkness.   And through Jesus, God was breaking down a barrier between Heaven and Earth and allowing us to see how all people are the threads in the fabric of God's tapestry. Whether someone accepts Jesus as God or not, his mission was to draw us all back to a Love that is so large and wide and deep that we will never find its bottom or its top.   That Love is so enormous that--as the bumper sticker says-- it's too big to fit inside one religion.

If I were allowed to turn back time and sit at the First Council of Nicea, I might have duked it out with the attendees and insisted on a creed that goes:

We believe in one incredibly huge God
who loves us all to the ends of the earth and beyond.
And in God's Son, Jesus Christ,
The incarnation of God and bearer of the Good News
That we are loved more than tongue can tell nor pen can write.
Born of Mary. Lived with us. Died for us.
Rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven.
And we believe in the Holy Spirit who gives us our breath in our bodies
To be the living home of God in the world.
And because we believe, we will strive to live
Remembering that we belong to God.
Thanks be to a God that would do all this and more
to be in relationship with us! Amen.

Who Am I?

2011-08-21T18:37:00.000-04:00

This morning, the Gospel according to Matthew is the moment when Jesus turns to his disciples and poses the question, "Who do the people say that the Son of Man is?" The answers are all over the place: the Son of Man is John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah or one of the other prophets. But then Jesus asks the compelling question of his friends, "But who do you say that I am?" And Simon Peter, the most extroverted of the bunch, pipes up with, "You are the Messiah." Nobody told Peter to say it. It was something he knew in his gut. Jesus praises him for the observation and promises that the church will be built upon his understanding and ability to perceive the Almighty standing before him.

As I thought about this moment, I considered the significance of what it means to be known for who you are. Society assigns labels to us, and sometimes we label ourselves, so that there can be order in the chaos. We get defined by lots of things: our jobs, our genders, our marital status. But none of that really speaks to who we are. Who we are may not be so easily defined and categorized. To know us requires a person to see more deeply and look to those things that are below the skin surface and to get to what makes that light shine out through our eyes. That takes time, and a willingness to be seen as well.

In that sense, it's a bit like coming out. To be known for who we are requires us to take the risk of letting others see us for who we really are. Depending on the circumstances, that might not always feel safe. I think that was a little bit of what was happening with Jesus. Once Peter nails him as the Messiah, Jesus warns the others not to repeat that revelation to anyone. For if that word got around too quickly in the world where the Roman Emperor had the reigns of power, there would be some serious trouble.

I think about those places in the world where to be outwardly gay does run the risk of a person being killed. And yet there are those in countries such as Uganda and Nigeria brave enough to live their lives honestly knowing that they are in jeopardy. These real and present dangers put into context the fears some of us might have in this country about being out. There are those dark corners of the United States where being openly gay might get you beat up or killed. But, in general, our culture is changing, and it isn't as frightening to come out as lesbian or gay or even bi. We are still struggling with transgender in most parts, and I think that's because of the human urge to place people in the binary camp of either "male" or "female". With the next generation coming along, even that stumbling block is going to fall away.

When we consider Christ's question, "Who do you say that I am?", I think we are being challenged to search our hearts for that answer. Who do we say that Christ is? Is he our personal Lord and Savior, only caring for our kind? Is he the great emancipator for all (yes, all) people?

Do we know Christ is the Messiah? And if so, how do we know that? Do we know it because other people have told us so, or have we experienced the liberation of the love that comes from Christ? And, having recognized Christ as an active part of our lives as liberator, advocate and peace maker, do we allow that to be seen? Or do we hide or act in ways that would make one wonder if we really are Christian?

A way to show that we know Christ is to treat everyone and everything as a living, breathing organism of God. As Paul notes in his letter to the Romans, we are all part of one body, even in our many parts. The more we live as part of the body, the more we make the Almighty visible to the world. If God becomes the centerpoint and the starting place of our lives, we stand a better chance of realizing the promise of eternal life right now... and not as some off-in-the-distance end time event. And that kind of positive vibration can be infectious.

Be seen. Be heard. Be out as who and what you are. It takes all kinds to be in this body and we are each making our unique contribution.

Healing The Wounds of War

2011-08-20T00:00:00.002-04:00

Last weekend, I met eleven men.

They were on a retreat with the Wounded Warrior Project out of Jacksonville. The project was established to assist veterans wounded in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq adjust to coming home and transitioning into civilian life.

After dodging bombs and bullets on a battlefield for months on end, the body learns to respond with adrenaline in a constant mode of fight or flight.  These are the unseen wounds of war and are all tied into the mental scars from seeing death and destruction up close and personal.  And there are the visible scars: lost limbs, massive burn marks, and the remaining signs of an incision made to remove debris and stitch-up the gashes in the flesh.

What the body absorbs affects the mind and the soul of the person. This is the truth that all massage therapists know. And this is why I went to meet these eleven men.

The setting was the calm and quiet environment of Camp Weed, the church camp for the Episcopal Diocese of Florida. Me and the other massage therapist were assigned to rooms that had a view of what looked like a prairie of grass.

I only had a half-hour to work with each guy, a definite challenge for me as I usually like to spend some time talking with clients before we head to the table. So, the intake time was shortened to a smile and a handshake, and a brief exchange to find out what part of their body bothered them the most.
One man, who I will call Ted, had a cheerful personality. He smiled big and was looking forward to the idea of a massage. I asked Ted where he'd most like for me to work.

"My shoulders. They're always tight, or at least that's what I got told last time. They just stay tight."

"So, you carry the world on your shoulders."

"Yeah, I was a grunt, so I guess that's true."

He really did carry the world, and the war, on his shoulders. They were rock hard like a couple of boulders keeping his head in place. I had to encourage him to let his head fall back into my hands.

"I promise, I won't let you lose your head," I said with a smile. He chuckled and slowly let go.

I was only half-joking. As bouncy and happy as this soldier was, his body still spoke of the need to stay ready for action. In war, he wasn't allow to lose his head. And in massage, I assured him, his head was safe in my hands.

Gradually, I felt the connective tissue at his occipital ridge melt into my fingers and the muscles in his neck relaxed. His body could trust he was really safe.

As I looked into the faces of the men like Ted, I saw their youthfulness.  Their outward appearances, tattooed and tough looking, gradually softened with the lengthening and stretching of their muscles.  As their faces relaxed, I was struck by how young some of them were.  Some of them looked like teenagers with facial hair. In the moments between appointments, I couldn't help but reflect on the war and the men and women we send into combat.  Most of them were born when I was in high school. And so many of them have not survived. More than 6,000 servicemembers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan and the ones I was seeing today bore tattoos of the Fallen Soldier to remind them of the ones who had died on the battlefield.

Some of the men who had never had a massage before smiled sweetly at the end of their sessions. One young man, I'll call him Tom, was so quiet and he looked at the massage table as if I were going to be doing a mad scientist routine with him.  Picking up on his angst, I took time to let him know exactly what I would be doing and why. I asked him to take off his shoes and his cap, and start by lying on his back. Nothing more got exchanged between us but the change in his body was again evident in his face and his shoulders. This very reticent recipient of massage flashed a shy grin.  He shook my hand not once, but twice, thanking me and thanking me again.

A few wanted to know if I was connected with the Episcopal Church, the ones running the retreat for the warriors.

"Yes, I am."

It was one time I can say for sure that I felt the Church was doing something right.   And I was happy to be using my gifts to contribute to the healing of these wounded men.

Fade to Black

2011-08-14T23:43:00.004-04:00

My heart was sad and I let out a heavy sigh this evening as I exited the Miracle 5 movie theater.   This was the last day of operation for this place that specialized in independent and international films.   As of the 7pm movies, the theater which has been in operation since 1968 was fading to black. Regal Entertainment, the owner, says that it was an underperforming venue and in these economic times, you better perform or you're outta here.
The Miracle was my movie house of choice.   This is where I went to see Michael Moore documentaries, foreign-language films like "Once Were Warriors", "The Lives of Others" and "Of Gods and Men" as well as just odd films such as "Ed Wood" and "Bubba Ho-Tep".   I saw "March of the Penguins" several times and was fascinated with "Control Room".

It was also the place most likely to show movies with LGBT themes. So it was only fitting that my final film at the Miracle 5 would be "Beginners", an interesting sweet and sad story about a man named Oliver (Ewan MacGregor) in mourning over the death of his father (Christopher Plummer). Turns out the father lived the last few years of his life as an openly-gay man, something he had kept a secret throughout his 44-year marriage. When the wife died, Plummer's character was finally free to love in the way he had wanted, only to die of lung cancer. Still, Plummer was able to live and love fully. Something his son was struggling to do as he mourned his father's death and the relationship he'd witnessed between his parents.

"Beginners" is not a "Harry Potter" or a "Captain America" or "The Help."  It is a film about relationships as opposed to shoot 'em ups.   It may not be the stuff of blockbusters, but it is the stuff of themes that I'm willing to pay to see on a big screen. I'm not alone in this. As a protest to the corporate decision, there was a large gathering of people that showed up Saturday night for a tailgate and movie party in the Miracle's parking lot.   The idea was to show the corporate number crunchers that there is an audience for such art house movies in Tallahassee.

And there really is. The theater for the 4:10 showing today of "Beginners" was probably 40-percent full.

Still, 40-percent is not a packed house. And probably qualifies as "underperforming."

I'm hoping that the other Regal Entertainment theatre in Tallahassee will dedicate at least two or three of its 12 screens to showing some of the usual Miracle 5 fare. This city, which has a film school at Florida State, really needs a place to show those movies that are characterized as "small films."

At the end of "Beginners", Oliver and his love interest in the film, Anne, are sitting next to each other as they try to begin their relationship after a lot of ups and downs.

"What happens now?" asks Oliver.

"I don't know, " says Anne.

"How does that work?"

I have the same questions about the future of such films in Tallahassee.

Good night and good bye, Miracle 5.   You've been a good show!

Rock on, Canaanite Woman

2011-08-13T10:59:00.001-04:00

It was this time three years ago that I was at the North Carolina Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Durham. A movie short that I had written and helped to produce was having its premiere in the Tarheel State and I was anxious to see how it was received. I love going to this festival because you get to see lots and lots of LGBT-themed films of all kinds, the hosts are really nice and attentive to the filmmakers and its just an overall good time.

But on that visit, I saw something I didn't like.

There was an African-American man, accompanied by some white teenagers, standing outside on the sidewalk to the Carolina Theatre. Megaphone in hand and donning his "Jesus Saves" T-Shirt, he was pelting the movie goers with a message of "Repent!! Repent your abomination of man lying with man and woman lying with woman!!"

People strode passed him. Some threw comments back at him. But what I noticed was that the faces of the people headed into the theatre were hardened. No doubt this was a reflection of what must have been in their hearts.

How many times has a gay person had to listen to someone in a "Jesus Saves" shirt screaming at them to "Repent!!"?   What an irony to say that Jesus "saves" while telling someone they will burn in Hell?   Jesus can save, but it would help if his supposed fan club would stop nailing him to the cross!
Sunday's gospel lesson was, of course, the same one I heard that weekend in Durham at St. Philip's Church. And it was as poignant then as it is now.

We begin with Jesus defending the disciples for eating with 'unclean hands' by noting that it isn't what goes in the mouth that defiles the person but what comes out. From there, Jesus goes off to Tyre and Sidon where he encounters (in Matthew's version of the story) a Canaanite woman. The Canaanites were the antithesis of all things good and righteous for the Israelites. After all, God had promised Abraham that he would basically conquer Canaan and establish the nations of Israel. So, here is this woman (already a bit of 'eww' factor) and then she is a Canaanite (way beyond just 'eww') and she has the audacity to call out to Jesus... even noting that he is a Son of David... and asks for healing for her daughter. At first, Jesus dismisses her noting that he came to feed the children of Israel and not the dogs. But she persists and tells him, "Yes, Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table." Her boldness in stating her right to his attention is rewarded, and he praises her for her faith and the daughter is healed.

In the queer ear: wow! There's a LOT here.

"What comes out of the mouth comes from the heart and this is what defiles." If a man wears a T-shirt to identify himself as a Christian, but then speaks an anti-Christ message of hell and damnation upon you "others", he is reflecting what is truly in his heart. And his heart does not belong to Christ if he believes that Christ doesn't love LGBT people unless they "repent" of their LGBTness.   A queer person can no more repent their sexual orientation or gender identity than a Mexican can repent of her ethnicity.

There is also the next scene with the Canaanite Woman. Jesus, who has said it isn't what goes in that defiles but what goes out, encounters the challenge of being met by an "other" of his time. And he calls her a dog. How many times has a gay person sat in the pews of a church and heard words from the pulpit about loving the neighbor, welcoming the stranger, do unto others... only to find that for the priest or pastor, there is an exclusionary clause in that "welcome".   All are welcome... except for LGBT people. In some quarters, LGBT people are treated, as Bishop Barbara Harris describes,  "the half-assed baptized."

This is why the Canaanite Woman stands for me, and many of us other 'others', as the beautiful representation of standing up for one's self in the face of resistance and discrimination.   Rather than accept the slur, she lays it back at Jesus' feet by noting that even she is worthy of the crumbs that fall from the master's table. She has established that she has the utmost respect for him, but she refuses the dismissal. Many of us of the queer persuasion have had to make a similar courageous stand. We bring our whole selves into the sanctuary and will not hide who we are or attempt to "pass" as straight because we know that when Jesus died and rose from the dead, it was for "all", and not just the chosen few.   This is why I think queer Christians are some of the most faith-filled members of Christendom.   Despite human sinful attempts to block us from the grace of God, we have persisted and prevailed.

My hope is that anyone who has ever felt wronged by the people of God will take another look at what is actually in Scripture and not the warped and perverted versions screamed into a megaphone on a street corner. Take a chance on reading what Christ was teaching. It is a message of Love beyond measure that even the Canaanite woman could claim as her own.

In the Water

2011-08-12T09:15:00.001-04:00

Sunday's gospel lesson about Peter walking on water until he starts to sink and Jesus saves him has been on my mind for several days. As one who is not a great swimmer and prefers walking along the beach rather than venturing out into the ocean, the whole idea of stepping out of the boat and onto the surface of the sea seems like a drowning just asking to happen.

Seriously, if I were in a boat being battered by waves, and Jesus invited me to step out onto the ocean and walk, I think I'd be tempted to say, "What the hell for?"

If we are honest with ourselves, I think we'd agree that most of us really feel that way. The invitation is there for us to focus our eyes, our hearts and our minds on God. But instead, we balk at that invite and begin scouring the invitation for the fine print, the black out dates, the exclusionary clause that says, "This unconditional love and grace void and prohibited for the likes of me!"

Why do we always want to make God so limited and so small and petty? Perhaps because we, as humans, can see ourselves placing limits and boundaries on the love we're willing to share. If we can conceive of limits, then surely God must have limits, too.

How quickly we forget the words in Isaiah 55:

"For your thoughts are not my thoughts nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord."

Just because we are willing to place limits and boundaries does not mean that God does the same thing. As it shows in the gospel story, even when Peter gets distracted and takes his eyes off Jesus and starts to sink, Jesus didn't laugh in his face and say, "Suckah!!" Instead, he grabs hold of Peter and, in what I imagine was said in the love shared between two friends, chides him with the line, "O you of little faith!" A reminder to Peter that he was doing fine until he let the winds and choppy sea steal his focus. Much in the same way we, in our day to day living, will allow all kinds of things to interfere with the unboundless Love that surrounds us all the time. Nothing like a crappy job, or lack of employment, to steal the focus on the fact that we are products of Love and we are worthy of Love. And we can live and share our lives out of a place that knows the freedom of that Love.

Centering prayer is a great practice toward training our minds and hearts to focus on Love and keep that as our home base. I've found it useful that way as an additional supplement to the other more liturgical worship I do. It's a way of allowing the space for God to place the invite to come out onto the waters and walk with me, if only for a little while, so that I can see that I can do it, remember it, and let that be the core of how I function. Those days in which I have taken the time to sit in quiet and focus on a sacred word have been the days in which I don't feel myself fighting as hard to keep above the waters that would otherwise drown me.

Perhaps it can be said then that the Kingdom of God is like a vast body of water with no shores to border it where one can feel the coolness of the waves against you and yet never drown.

The Transfiguration of Peter, John and James

2011-08-06T21:03:00.001-04:00

I saw a very interesting quote this morning on Facebook courtesy of Rev. Elizabeth Kaeton:

We call it Jesus’ Transfiguration...it actually might be more accurate to call this the story of the transfiguration of the three apostles...suddenly they, too, were filled with this light: lighting their lives, lighting the darkness of their pasts, lighting their hopes and dreams and confusion and fears about the future. Suddenly the dim mirror through which they had been seeing life became clear. They saw. They understood. It fit. Everything fit. Everything was okay.-Br. Curtis Almquist

I think this is almost accurate. Almost because, of course, if they had really been fully transfigured in their thinking then I would have to believe there would have been a very different outcome at Jesus' time of trial. A transfigured Peter would have been braver than he was in the moment in Pilate's garden.

Still, we know from the Gospel of Luke that upon hearing the booming voice in the cloud announce "This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!", the three men did not speak a word of what they'd experienced to anyone. They didn't run down the mountain and say, "Hey--guess what just went down with Jesus!!" Probably a good idea to keep that underwraps until the time was right to tell.

What I get from Br. Almquist's analysis is that each one of us when we encounter Christ as revealed in that amazing light are changed. Much like when Moses came down from the mountain with the bright, shiny face, we, too, may manifest a physical, or at least a visible spiritual, change when we have felt the contact of God in our lives that up close. I have had friends say to me more than once, "You've changed!" And I have. They haven't always liked those changes initially. I have certainly felt gangly and awkward as I have gone through some spiritual growth spurts. But the growing I'm doing feels as though I am becoming fuller, deeper, and with roots that allow me to drink from many things to get a greater idea about this creation I am a part of with God.

Transfigured? A little. But the alchemist is still melting and pounding away at the edges. I think that's the space Peter, John and James found themselves in when they descended from the mountain after witnessing something too awe-inspiring to adequately describe. Here's hoping that everyone has a moment or three like that in God.

Our Id-Driven World

2011-08-06T10:29:00.000-04:00

I can't help thinking that as I look around at this world, Freud's theory of "Id", that basic instinct of seeking what pleases us without any sense of right or wrong, seems to be driving the bus. We want our needs met and we don't care about the consequences to anyone else. The Id is the very primitive part of our being and is the motivator of infants and very young children.

And the Id seems to be the engine driving of our Congress. Consider this quote in the Washington Post by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell following the down-to-the-wire vote on the debt ceiling debacle:

“I think some of our members may have thought the default issue was a hostage you might take a chance at shooting,” he said. “Most of us didn’t think that. What we did learn is this — it’s a hostage that’s worth ransoming. And it focuses the Congress on something that must be done.” (Washington Post)

The “must be done”, I’m presuming, is to deal with our latest era of deficit-spending which began this time under President George W. Bush, a Republican. Most people understand that if you are spending money, you need to bring money in. For government, that means collecting taxes even from wealthy people. The hostage taking has cost us. The country’s credit rating was reduced by Standard’s and Poor… and the Chinese. Way to go, patriots of partisanship. I wonder what our next blunder will be?

Hallelujah for the Artists!

2011-08-05T22:44:00.001-04:00

We give thanks to you, O Lord, for the vision and skill of Albrecht Dürer, Matthias Grünewald and Lucas Cranach the Elder whose artistic depictions helped the peoples of their age understand the full suffering and glory of your incarnate Son; and we pray that their work may strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ and the mystery of the Holy Trinity; for you live and reign, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

At the noon day Eucharist, we celebrated the lives of three Germans of the Renaissance period. Dürer, Grünewald, and Cranach the Elder, painted and created woodcuts that captured images of Christ and some of the icons of church history such as Martin Luther during a time of enormous change happening with the Protestant Reformation in Europe. Their works, especially the woodcuts and copperplates, allowed for mass reproductions for a populace hungry for art.

But these are not the only artists who ever tried to share their faith through their works. As mentioned in the homily, there are many people who have used art to express the gifts God has given them. I think again of the stunning beauty of hearing Haydn's piece "The Creation" and its electrifying introduction of a blast of sound at the line "Let there be light!" ("God is in the Art") That musical moment stands out for me as such an amazing attempt by an artist to capture what he was experiencing in his head and his heart as he tried to give a glimpse of God's work through his own work.

Artists, both those who perform and those who create with their hands the images in their heads, reflect back a perception of the world as they see it that informs, provokes, inspires, and entertains our own imaginations. Their contributions, especially when illustrating God, is a form of prayer that works on a level transcending the headiness of corporate church. Thanks be to God we have people of such creative energy to be among the mitochondria in the Body of Christ!

Aching Hip Insights

2011-08-04T23:54:00.001-04:00

My right hip was killing me yesterday. Not in a way that made me lame, but just in that way that I kept “noticing” it. These days, it’s not uncommon for me to have occasional aches in my joints, a result of not getting enough exercise outdoors because it’s too hot and no interest in going indoors to a gym to bike in place for thirty minutes. Taking time between clients to stretch some more usually does the trick. But, for whatever reason, that wasn’t working yesterday.

As I tried to warm up the muscles around the hip joint, my mind went to the lesson from last Sunday’s Genesis reading in which Jacob wrestles with “the man” and “the man” puts his hip out of joint. I laughed at the thought that perhaps the reason my hip was hurting was because I seem to be locked in a struggle with “the man” myself. Tussling over my obligations, my choices, and where am I going to steer my energies.

No, I don’t think God caused my hip to ache, or that I am actually physically wrestling with God and demanding a blessing etc. But I have felt myself in a bit of a push-pull relationship with God as I keep along this journey.

I realize that I’m involved in many ministries, both inside and outside the church, each of which demands more and more of my time and attention. And I am aware of my humanity, and hence my limitations, to accomplish everything that might be expected of me in each of these ministries. For example, yesterday, I had to tell the Circle of Hope, a ministry to support the unemployed and underemployed in their job searches, that much as we might have been hearing from members of the parish about needs such as school supplies, such needs fall outside the purview of our particular ministry. Fortunately, the group agreed.

My partner and I ate at Jonah’s Fish and Grits restaurant in Thomasville, GA. I had been wanting to go there for months after seeing the billboard every time I traveled 319 into downtown Thomasville. I reminded her that Jonah is my “power prophet.”

“Jonah was whiny and judgmental,” she said.

Yeah. And these are both traits I am capable of having at any given moment.

But where I see me in the story of Jonah, the prophet who prayed in the belly of a fish, comes in the desire to run in the other direction from God’s stated mission. Jonah was to go to Nineveh and tell the people to turn from their ways and go back to God. And Jonah took that to mean, “Get in a boat going the opposite direction, so I don’t have to do this mission.” And we know what happened after that.

It’s not so much that I feel God has a stated mission or message for me to deliver that I am not willing to deliver. I find my tendency is to think of a hundred things I need to do instead. This is where the struggle with “the man” begins… and I feel my right hip joint.

It’s been better today. I guess I must not be putting up as much of a fight.

All Does Mean "All"

2011-07-31T13:20:00.000-04:00

I was glancing at today's Gospel and saw it was the feeding of the five thousand. And I thought, "What a time for this lesson!" Our country is standing on the edge of a financial breakdown with no money to pay our creditors around the globe. Why? How? Because we are no longer a democracy; we have become the great American lunacracy! We are governed by the most fearful and angry bunch of intransigents we could have ever elected.
Thanks be to God the disciples of Jesus were not members of the so-called Tea Party.   Otherwise, that feeding story would have gone something like this:

"The crowds were gathered and hungry and nightfall was coming. Jesus turned to his disciples and said, 'Let's get out those two fish and five loaves of bread so I can bless them and distribute them equally amongst all the people.' But the disciples said, 'No!' When Judas attempted to reach for one of the fish to give to Jesus, John and James tackled him.  Peter scolded Jesus, weeping and saying, 'These are our fish and bread given to us. If this crowd is hungry, it's not our fault. They should have gone shopping during the day!'"

My take on the Gospel story from Matthew only has the slightest bit to do with our current political crisis. When I read this feeding story, I am struck by the phrase, "And all ate and were filled..." The very first time I really heard this passage three years ago, it blew open all the doors and windows in my brain. It was a powerful and simple illustration of the love of God, a love that can take what seems finite and make it infinite and give equal amounts of love to each one of us... with leftovers! No one is left out. No one gets any more or any less than the next person. And "all ate and were filled."

Because of our human nature which sees boundaries and beginnings and endings to things, this concept of an infinite "all" is mind boggling.   Surely there must be limits?   There's no way God intends that all of us are to be loved? As the Austin Lounge Lizards sing, "Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you!"

Not true. When the word is "all" it really does mean "all."   Again, the apostle Paul speaks eloquently to this point when he says in Romans that there is nothing that separates us from the love of God. The only thing that can do that is our unwillingness to believe and trust that God really does love us unconditonally and doesn't have some hidden agenda to pull the rug out from under us.

So, what does any of this have to do with the debt ceiling debacle?   What I see in the midst of all the stubbornness and the willingness to plunge our national credit rating into the toilet is a political strategy of not wanting the "other guy" to have a "win". Specifically, President Obama.   It is not a secret that the Republican Party agenda has been to do whatever it can to prevent the President from achieving anything.   That's an age-old tactic that's been done on both sides of the American political aisle.   But such behavior used to have limits when there was a real national interest at stake. This Congress, however, is infused with a tea bag that's sat for too long in the water and is bitter and nasty. And they are willing to make American taxpayers suffer with the potential of higher interest rates because they don't like minorities, especially when they become President.  And they are so reckless that they are willing to let small businesses, the poor, and the helpless suffer.   Because, for all that they may wrap themselves in the flag and thump their bibles, they are not patriots and they are perverting the words of Christ.

"All", for them, means "all for them."

What a contrast to see how God intended us to understand "all."   And I say, "God, help us all!"

The Kingdom of Heaven Is Like...

2011-07-30T13:11:00.000-04:00

In one of those moments of quiet contemplation during this week, I had this thought:

"The Kingdom of Heaven is like a borderless country. We keep driving and driving to find the edge or the line, but it's never there because the Kingdom has no bounds."

Think about it. When you look at a map, there are clear demarcations of boundaries between states, nations, bodies of water. We fight wars with rocks and rubber bullets and IEDs over which side of a particular geographical border line belongs to which ethnic or religious group.  We erect walls and fences as a means to protect "our" borders.

But when we live in the Kingdom... we are not just one nation, but one everything, under God.

I saw a glimpse of that last night on the news.   They were showing scenes from Norway with the first of the funerals for the teenaged victims gunned down last week by the blonde-haired, blue-eyed Christian terrorist. The girl, 18 year-old Bano Rashid, was a refugee from Iraq who was described by all who knew her as "Sunshine."   Leading the funeral procession was an imam and a Lutheran pastor. The image spoke the proverbial thousand words in recognition of Sunshine as a child loved by a God that doesn't separate Muslims from Christians, especially as a nation mourned her senseless death.  God, whether as seen through Christ or called Allah, accepts the tears of all of us. Sadly, this is a message lost on Anders Breivik, and those in the radical fundementalist religious camps.   They are still driving looking for the border of the Kingdom, and in their quest to be right have fallen for the mirage of a border.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is like a banquet table brimming with exotic and ordinary food and drink where a new chair is always available for someone to take a seat."

Oh, to have a world where people could really believe this is true!

An Anglican Commentary on Norway's Tragedy

2011-07-26T14:44:00.000-04:00

A Facebook friend posted this commentary by Rev. J. Barney Hawkins IV about last week's slaughter in Norway. The piece can be found at the Virginia Theological Seminary's website on Anglican Communion Studies. Hawkins' commentary reminds us of the Gospel passage a few weeks ago about the field where there were seeds sown, but in the middle of the night, someone planted weeds to grow up alongside the wheat. Hawkins writes:

In times like these, I find helpful a “Litany of Contradictory Things” in which there are verses like: “Wheat and weeds: let them grow together; Arabs and Jews in Palestine: let them grow together; those whose thinking is similar and contrary: let them grow together.” I would add a new verse: Christians and Muslims: let them grow together.

In that parable, the sower of the seeds instructs the slaves to leave the weeds alone. To yank them from the ground might tear out the roots of the wheat as well. He says to let them grow together and the reaper will make the distinction of wheat from weed.

That's the problem with an extremist such as Anders Behring Breivik. He is convinced of his own rightness and has thus tried to elevate himself to be God, the judge and jury of the world. His anti-Muslim hatred... a sentiment unfortunately shared by other Christian extremists... so warped him that he opened fire on children.

Many in Christianity are quick to point out that Breivik's actions are absolutely counter to the teachings of Christ. Certainly, if Breivik, and the other so-called 'christians' who rail against Islam understood the teachings of Christ, they'd back off their vitriol and beat their automatic weapons into ploughshares. We can live side-by-side in this world. What happens when we die is anybody's guess. That's the great unknown, and will remain unknown to us until we are able to bear the unveiling of that next level of understanding. For now, we live in the tension of difference. And that's OK.

Baptismal Responsibility

2011-07-25T08:30:00.002-04:00

At St. John’s, we baptized two children into the Body of Christ. Baptisms are a great service, and not just because the featured attraction are the cooing and crying young ones in the pretty white gowns.

It is also the time when we, the adults of the congregation, renew our own baptismal vows not only through a call and response recitation of the Apostle’s Creed; we are also asked a series of questions:

Will you continue in the apostles’ teaching, in the prayers and the breaking of the bread?

Will you resist evil and when you fall into sin repent and return to the Lord?

Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?

Will you seek and serve Christ in all people loving your neighbor as yourself?

Will you strive for justice and peace and respect the dignity of every human being?

The answer to all of the above: I will, with God’s help.

God is always willing to help. But are we always willing to do our part?

The point of our participation in the baptism of a child or adult is to recognize that we have certain rights and responsibilities as members in this Body of Christ. It’s not enough to just sit on our rears and watch the world carry on. We have an obligation to see how the world is carrying on, and call out the world where there is no justice, peace or respect of every human being. Membership in this Body does not give us a pass on caring for each other and the world we live in. That care and concern becomes a 24/7, 365 days a year call to action.

Too often people of the Christian faith treat these vows as applicable only between the hours of 8-noon on a Sunday. That’s when you hear the name Jesus, in a way that is formal and reverential, right? The rest of the time, it’s every man, woman and child for him or herself to slog through this muddled up world, dodging through life’s traffic and always looking out for numero Uno.

Uh-oh. I used Spanish words. That’s the language of so many of those “illegals”. We’ve been seeing an increase of laws meant to make it impossible for anyone who isn’t a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant to hold a job, go to college, get medical care or—hey—even get a ride from someone to get to a church so they, too, can take God out of the box for about an hour and fifteen minutes. As noted HERE on my blog, my mentor stood in a pulpit of an Episcopal Church in Alabama and noted that the anti-immigrant law in Alabama, HB56, is not only anti-immigrant; it is anti-Christ. As far as the Gospel message of “love thy neighbor” goes, that new law is an epic fail. She preached a message that reminded the congregation of what it means to have been marked and sealed as Christ’s own forever at their baptism.

Many of them didn’t like that reminder. Just like when Jesus tells the rich young man that if he wants to be “perfect”, he’d sell all his possessions and follow him. The rich young man, realizing the magnitude of what Jesus just said, clutches his possessions and sulks away.

For the rich young man, the “possessions” might have been his gold, his cups, his jewels. Or it might also have been his prejudices and his assumptions that since he isn’t one of “those people” he was a step closer to “perfection.” And here’s Jesus telling him he has to give it all up… including that "holier than thou" attitude? “No way, dude. I know who ‘my kind’ are and I’m not hangin’ out with those furriners!”

The current trend of picking on immigrants is not a “new thing”. The same prejudice that denies services to an immigrant is the same prejudice that denies rights to LGBT people is the same prejudice that says all blacks are criminals, all women are too emotional to handle difficult decisions, and the disabled are “inspirational” when they live their lives. There is no “respecting the dignity of every human being” in any of that. Where is the seeking and serving Christ in all people? And what have we done to the Good News, a message of freedom that the apostle Paul describes as, “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”?

If we are baptized in Christ, then we are not given an opt out on compassion and caring for all people. Period!

Welcome to the newly-baptized. With God’s help, and your willingness, we can make this a better world for everyone.

Thank You to New York's Fab Four

2011-07-24T00:29:00.000-04:00

The Bishops of Central New York, Western New York, Long Island, and Rochester.

These four bishops have said they will allow their priests to bless AND solemnize same-sex marriages in their dioceses. The Bishop of New York (which includes Manhattan) has said priests may bless the same-sex couple, but the civil authorities must marry them. That's actually the closest to my opinion on the topic.

But then, I think the church needs to get out of marrying straight couples as well, and turn that all back to the state to do.

All quibbling aside, I'm excited for all the couples in New York who have been waiting for this day. And I am pleased that a majority of the Episcopal Bishops there are giving an example of pastoral generousity that I believe is a right and good and joyful thing! Thank you, Bishops Adams, Franklin, Provenzano and Singh for opening the church a little wider and letting more light in. Blessings to all of you.

Prayers for Norway

2011-07-23T09:05:00.001-04:00

The news from the normally tranquil Norway is horrific. At last count, there are 91 people dead from what appears to be the actions of an angry right-wing Christian fundamentalist. As with all horrible crimes involving bombings and mass killings, the initial reports were that a group with ties to Al-Qaeda was claiming responsibility for the carnage. And, like many times before, that turns out not to be the case.

One friend on Facebook noted that when the fundamentalism is Islamic, we condemn the entire religion. When it is Christian, it's the act of a lone mad man with a vendetta. Point taken. The tendency of the "we" is to see the "them" as a monolithic group where as we are able to make distinctions among our own "kind."

But religious fundamentalism, no matter the religion, is dangerous and destructive to the tenets of the faith. I don't believe that Islam demands of its followers that they strap dynamite to their bodies and blow themselves up in a market place in Jerusalem any more than I believe there's anything in the New Testament that says Christ wants us to kill socialist children in Norway.

Atheists will likely leap at the opportunity to knock all monotheism as fueling such madness as what happened yesterday in Oslo. But this has nothing to do with what is actually in Scripture. Or Torah. Or the Koran. This is about madness. Period. The religion layered on top of that is just window dressing and used to nefarious ends that aren't in keeping with the vast majority of the people who practice said religion.

We, believers and non-believers alike, should be able to agree upon the basic idea that this world has got some crazy people. And they will do crazy things.

Prayers ascending for the country of Norway, the children, the families and the government workers that were directly affected by yesterday's terrible events. Peace be with you.

Mary Magdalene: The "Other" Mary

2011-07-22T18:08:00.000-04:00

We hear a lot about Mary, the Mother of Jesus. The Blessed Virgin. The one who gave us the gorgeous Magnificat.

And then there is Mary Magdalene.   The whore. The harlot. The slut. The one who in the musical "Godspell" is given the sultry number, "Turn back, O Man."

How in the world this woman has come to be linked to the legend of the prostitute turned disciple of Christ is something that baffles me. I believe it can be traced back to the weirdness of people who don't like the thought that even the most "earthy" of women might have been Jesus' BFF.

Even my "hometown hero" Dan Brown speculates in his multi-million dollar books that Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ had a child. And that means Jesus had sex with a woman. Yikes!!!  NEVER!!!

Dan Brown's midrash on Magdalene aside, the story that seems consistently linked to Mary Magdalene is that she was the one at Jesus' resurrection and hence the first to see the resurrected Christ and spread the good news. From John's Gospel:

As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had been lying, one at the head and the other at the feet. They said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?’ She said to them, ‘They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.’ When she had said this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? For whom are you looking?’ Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, ‘Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rabbouni!’ (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her, ‘Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, “I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” ’ Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, ‘I have seen the Lord’; and she told them that he had said these things to her. --John 20: 11b-18

So, let's just suppose that Mary Magdalene is the same notorious Mary, the sinner who had demons driven out of her or maybe the sinner who anoints Jesus and washes his feet with her hair. If that's the case then I say, "Bravo!" What a wonderfully powerful statement of Scripture that a person of ill-repute is the one who gets to see the most amazing miracle of them all--a resurrected from the dead Jesus--and is the one told to go and share it with the others. It is common throughout the stories in the Bible that it's the ones with warts and blemishes that in fact are given the glory of being God's chosen messengers.   Not always the easiest of tasks to carry out, but still they do it. And she has been given the gift of being the first to see that not even death can take down Christ. For God to choose her sends the message to all throughout the ages of Christianity that the one who we might not think of as "worthy" deserves our attention because that one may be bearing a tremendous gift.

And therefore, on this day, I say all those who have ever felt the scorn of the self-righteous should rejoice and raise a glass to the lady who truly embodies that amazing redemptive spirit of Christ to embrace us and restore us. As a portion of her collect reads:

Mercifully grant that by your grace we may be healed of all our infirmities and know you in the power of his endless life...

Can I get an Amen?

How To Kill, Embalm and Bury A Church

2011-07-21T07:32:00.001-04:00

I saw this posted by the Diocese of Florida. Follow this 13-step program if you want to blow up your church.

1. Don't come.
2. If you do come, come late.
3. If it is too wet, too dry, too hot, too cold, stay home.
4. When you come, be sure to find fault.
5. Don't do anything to help.
6. Don't take part in the services.
7. Don't encourage the rector. S/he doesn't need it.
8. Don't put more than one dollar in the plate.
9. Don't pay your pledges-- the treasurer can borrow money to pay bills.
10. If you have a friend who doesn't go to church, use your influence to keep him at home.
11. Consider that your church is conducted for your benefit only.
12. Believe everything you hear. Never investigate.
13. If everything is running smoothly, start something.

The Anglican Covenant Simplified

2011-07-20T00:08:00.001-04:00

Just in case you forgot that there is still an Anglican Covenant waiting in the wings, the No Anglican Covenant Coalition has produced a simple, and clear, statement about the document and why we oppose it. You can download the statement HERE.

To get the anticipated response from Lambeth Palace, you can watch this latest video in my Bishop Yellowbelly series.

I Do! Um, Wait: Is That Allowed Here?

2011-07-19T12:17:00.002-04:00

I do love the Episcopal Church, but--man--we can get our knickers twisted into knots better than any other Christian denomination in this country!

That was my conclusion after reading the report in the New York Times about the beginning of marriage equality in New York state this Sunday. Six dioceses. Six bishops. And at least three different approaches to answering the "pastoral genorosity for LGBT couples" afforded to them from the 2009 General Convention.

Under the rules of the Church, what constitutes a marriage and who gets to preside and what they get to do are governed not only by Church law but the law of the state. In those jurisdictions such as New York, where LGBT couples will be granted the civil right to marry, the General Convention has given leeway for the bishop to instruct priests on how to handle a marriage that is not "one man and one woman."

And that's when we get all Episcopalian on the matter!

Two bishops say the church, and its priests, are in the free and clear to hold ceremonies. One says that the priest may bless the couple, but a civil authority must marry them... and this can not occur in the church. Another says, "Hell No!" to all of it. And at least two others are staying out of the discussion and maybe hoping that it will all go away after next year's General Convention.

Complicating matters even further is the requirement that non-celibate priests of any orientation better get married, or they better live apart from the love of their life.   For the Bishop of Long Island, that seemed a pretty clear directive to his partnered-priests that once it became legal to tie-the-knot, it was time to grow up and go to the altar just like their straight brothers and sisters.   So, what does it mean if a priest must marry his or her partner, but then there are all these caveats as to whether it can happen inside the church and performed by a fellow priest?

Bishop of New York, Mark Sisk, has been a proponent of marriage equality. But now that equality is becoming a reality, he faces the difficulty of discerning what "generous pastoral response" in light of current Church canon law really means. Of the six, Bishop Sisk is the one trying to find the via media on the issue. For that, he wins the "Very Episcopalian" prize.

Lots of LGBT Episcopalians in New York City are sympathetic to Sisk's position. They know he is trying to move at a pace that is going to hold the tension between the virulent anti-gay Anglicans and the equally strong opinioned Episcopalians from blowing the whole thing up.   But I guess I see all of this as adding more dirt to the mountain that was a mole hill.

Short of all gay LGBT Episcopalians agreeing to commit mass suicide, those who have been attempting to shred the Episcopal Church with their stampede off to affiliate with Uganda and such will never be satisfied. And I think even if we did all kill ourselves, they'd still find something wrong with the Episcopal Church.   That's why I find all the hand-wringing and painfully cautious steps toward full inclusion to be just that: painful. I would love to do research to see if the Church spent this much energy parsing out the particulars in the case of an interracial marriage. Or better yet: an interfaith marriage. I would hope that there was as much debate in the Episcopal Church over whether a priest may officiate or even be present at the marriage of an Episcopalian to a Jew. I would expect to have this much wrangling over how to craft appropriate, separate language for such a wedding, one in which the name Jesus Christ would likely need to be left out of the mix. And don't even think about a Holy Trinity. And while all that glass stomping is festive, do NOT break the glasses for the martinis!

As always, I close my eyes and pray with a chuckle that we will all eventually reach that place where this whole episode in human history is behind us, and the church catches up with the state.

Mazel tov, New York!

Our responsibility to live in love: Alabama’s new immigration law sent us back 50 years

2011-07-17T22:36:00.002-04:00

This is an adaptation of my mentor, Mtr. Lee Shafer's, July 3rd sermon. It is, without question, her boldest message... and definitely one of her best yet.

Our responsibility to live in love: Alabama’s new immigration law sent us back 50 years: "On May 14, 40 college students joined the survivors of the original Freedom Rides. They came to Anniston to remember and retrace the events of the original rides in an effort to move forward."

On Seeds and Weeds and Worthiness

2011-07-17T09:49:00.000-04:00

It's parable a-plenty Sunday in the Episcopal lectionary. The passage assigned from Matthew includes the parable of the sower who plants good seed, and then in the middle of the night, someone lays down the bad seed (weeds) that then grow up together with the good seed. The slaves ask the master if they should pull up the weeds, and the Master tells them, "No," because there will be a time in the future when the crop will be harvested and that's when we'll deal with the weeds. To pull them up now could potentially damage the good seed. There's also the parable of the mustard seed, a small dot that can grow into a bountiful bush with lots of branches for the birds to make their nests. And then there is also the story of the Kingdom of Heaven being like a woman making bread and adding yeast to the floor to cause it to leaven.

Ultimately, though, it is the seed/weed parable that gets the most attention because the disciples ask questions about its meaning.

"Explain to us the parable of the weeds of the field." He answered, "The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man; the field is the world, and the good seed are the children of the kingdom; the weeds are the children of the evil one, and the enemy who sowed them is the devil; the harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are angels. Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all evildoers, and they will throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let anyone with ears listen! --Matt 13: 36b-43

I am listening! And this parable, to me, speaks to the idea that we ought not try to root out who we think are the "undesirables" because we may be disrupting the good seed in the process. It also reminds me of the time when my friends had planted an herb garden and were delighting in all that was sprouting up in their front yard. One day, another friend came along and saw their lemongrass. She mistook it for a weed and yanked it... and its root system... out of the ground. And there was definitely some weeping and gnashing of teeth over that!

I see this notion of leaving the weeds alone and letting God do what God does best as a good and powerful thing. Others may not. In an unrelated exchange on Facebook this past week, one of my associates made this comment:

Religion is based on self hate really...not being worthy enough. That is why all the "magic" goes into how your (sic) pray, what is your order of worship etc, as if God had a secret path only "those" know.

Certainly some of our prayers would reinforce that idea of lack of worth ("We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs from under thy table...") And I could see where someone might see some of the words in Scripture as saying, "Hate yourself because you are not worthy enough for the Kingdom."   Been there. Done that.

But that isn't how I see the parable about seeds and weeds and what happens when the time comes to separate them. The "take away" I get from the parable is that I need to pay attention to what I'm doing and how I'm doing in relationship with God instead of looking around to figure out who isn't "the real deal."   There are many a homophobe claiming the mantle of Christ who really ought to be doing the same.

To hold a belief that I don't have control over who is seed and who is weed has nothing to do with my worth. In my understanding as I develop this deeper sense of God in my life, I think that I am very worthy. So worthy that it's freaky. Surely God has some exceptions that make me unworthy?   There has to be a black out date somewhere?

No. There isn't.   I was made worthy from the day that Christ died and rose again from the dead. That was the exclamation point on the whole matter. As one baptized into the body of Christ, I am to live as one with God in all of God's manifestation: creator, redeemer, sustainer... the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.   "Worthiness" in the meaning of our prayers is the recognition of how often I will label myself a weed, instead of understanding that even I have a flower blooming from the seed that was planted.

It is a radical idea to live and love as one who is free. For some gay people, the amount of negativity we've injested from the posers for Christ has made it damn near impossible. What I offer to all is that the posers are the slaves who would have ripped out the weeds because they thought they knew a weed from lemongrass.   Don't listen to them. Listen for the voice of the God. And know you are worthy. You are loved. Go live it like you mean it.

The Search for Help and Truth in the Wild

2011-07-12T23:53:00.009-04:00

One of my most favorite places is the labyrinth at Florida School of Massage in Gainesville. Tucked in the back of the school's grounds, it is a special spot with an entrance flanked by two Buddhist monk looking statues. It is my usual practice to gaze softly upon these two statues in search of the "message" for this trip into the labyrinth. Today the words were "Search for help and truth".

And so I stepped under the arch, and began making my way toward the center.

But, as is often the case in summer time, the labyrinth path was overgrown with long grass, and weeds, and remnants of a thunderstorm or two having dropped small branches. There was nothing impeding my progress along the path... except for my noticing its unkempt nature.

Odd to think of an "unkempt nature" in a natural setting such as this labyrinth!

It seemed appropriate that the path would be a bit wild, especially as I heard the squeals of peacocks over the cicadas in the neighboring Paynes Prairie. It also was fitting that the more I sensed myself moving toward the center, the sooner I saw myself traveling in what seemed like a distance away from the heart of the labyrinth and my ultimate destination.

As I walked, carefully minding my steps, I considered how much this journey felt like a parallel to my present walk with God. Things have been feeling wild. The path has seemed crowded. And the more I feel myself traveling toward God, the farther I seem to be from that heart center.

I know this is a common experience for many who have walked this walk. Doesn't make it any more pleasant or easier for me!

When I finally reached the center, I stood still and took in the sky above me. Clouds were gathering, though it didn't seem as though it was going to rain any time soon. I waited. Certainly the answer to "search for help and truth" would now become clear to me.

Instead, what became clear was that I had ants gathering on my sandals and they were biting my feet!

So, out I went, journeying back out of the labyrinth and wondering,
"What the heck was that about?" And an answer started forming with each footstep.

I had been feeling very comfortable being back in Gainesville. The purpose of my trip was PFLAG business, and I met two of the people attempting to start a PFLAG chapter in their city. We had a great luncheon meeting, and I have high hopes for that chapter succeeding! Being with these folks, having been back on the grounds of FSM, seeing some of my old familiar haunts gave me a very warm and homey feeling. It was how I imagine a baby must feel in the womb. I felt cradled in the comfort of memories of the profound personal changes that occurred during my months living there in Gainesville, going to massage therapy school. If I had had my way, I would have hung out in the center of that labyrinth and refused to leave.

So the ants made sure I didn't do that!

Which brought me back to what feels like the answer to my meditation with the statues. I can seek help from going to the heart of the labyrinth, and the truth requires me to not hang out too long there but to keep moving. The same with God. The help and the truth is both near to me and far removed. I am allowed time to take it in. As long as I don't stand still but keep moving, I will be OK.

To punctuate the moment at the end of this trip through the labyrinth, I felt the wind pick up as I stood before the statues. The phrase "the wind is at your back" immediately surfaced. It's part of an Irish blessing:

May the road rise to meet you

May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rain fall softly upon your fields.

And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Another informative trip through that amazing labyrinth!