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Thursday, January 28, 2010

The iPreach

With the unveiling of yet-another "i" product, I thought the church could put in for one more: The iPreach, for the priest who needs just one more thing! Features include:

•16-point font for easy reading
•Stores your sermons for up to 50 years
•app for Bible readings of the day
•app for Biblical commentary on said readings
•app for poems that sound like they could have been Biblical commentary
•app for dog whistle-like tone to wake up sleeping congregants
•app for soothing music to counter dog whistle to keep babies pacified
•app for command laughter at joke you *know* is funny
•app for disrupting cell phone signals so they don't ring during the service
•one touch button that writes the whole thing for you, keeps attention, and removes distractions
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3 comments:

  1. PhoebeJanuary 28, 2010 at 10:10 AM

    So when will it be available? I know someone who could use it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    How and where do you get this?

    Peggins

    ReplyDelete
  3. wiffleApril 20, 2010 at 9:38 AM

    We all know someone who could use this. Perhaps they are available at a discount by the case. Then we would have some on hand to dispense as the need arises. :)

    wiffle

    ReplyDelete

I welcome comments on any posts that I put up here, but please make your remarks relevant to the topic of the post. You are welcome to challenge my thoughts and musings, but you are not welcome to come here to abuse me or others through the written word. And while I'm not God, and have no desire to take God's authority, I do reserve the right to delete a comment that is irrelevant to the post, or is promoting some product.