Is that Running "To" or Running "From"

The collect for this week has an interesting phrase that continuously catches my attention:

"Grant us the fullness of your (God's) grace, that we, running to obtain your promises, may become partakers of your heavenly treasure..."  

Running to obtain your promises.   I find that in my own life, I both run to those promises but when I get too close, I feel myself skidding to a stop and realizing, "I better run away!"   This is the life of one who reads the story of Jonah with great appreciation for our misfit prophet who'd rather hide than go do as God commands.  I understand that behavior because I am that behavior.  A lot.  

It's the contradiction of me as I keep following along after God down whatever path we're on together.  I'll sprint, and then I'll get that sense of "Yikes!" and I'll start moving in the other direction only to find myself turned around again back in the way in which I was going with God initially.  The one comfort I have in all of this is that when I consider the history of the people of God as reported to us in the Scriptures, I am definitely not alone!  Many people, both individuals and whole groups, have done this same running to and running away from the promises.  Tonight and into tomorrow, Jews around the world will be contemplating and considering the story of Abraham and Isaac as part of Rosh Hashanah.  Definitely a story of how Abraham kept running after the promises of God, even though he was being asked to do something as horrific as to sacrifice his only son on an altar.  The story doesn't tell us if Abraham had an internal misgivings; only that he was doing as he was commanded to do.  In the end, he does not have to sacrifice his son.  But his unquestioning willingness to do whatever it was that God asked is seen as a sign of Abraham's loyalty to God.  Isaac lives, and from Isaac and Rebecca we have Jacob and Esau (the former to become "Israel").

I'm not sure that I would be able to have gone as far as Abraham went in the binding of Isaac story without asking some questions!  It wouldn't exactly have been "running away", but I think my sprint might have slowed down to a stroll.

"Wicked, Seditious and Dangerous"

Warning:  the following is a shameless plug for the work I do in PFLAG-Tallahassee!

I am exhausted.  Not just by the news, or my work, or my volunteer activities, but by the speed reading that I've done over the past several weeks of ten... count 'em ten... books and novels with LGBT themes.   OK, some of them have been children's picture books, but that's still a whole lot of marathon reading for me.   I've enjoyed it, and it's made me sad.  Because these books are among those so often targeted by censors who claim that anything that hints at acceptance of LGBT people is "wicked, seditious and dangerous."

On Sunday, our PFLAG organization is going to give these books a chance to be heard!

We've planned a benefit that fits in with National Banned Books Week.  Readers, including some local heavy-hitters such as Sheila Ortiz Taylor, Terry Galloway and Kati Schardl, will take to the stage at Tallahassee's Mickee Faust Clubhouse and read works such as "The Well of Loneliness", "Annie On My Mind", "The Color Purple", "King and King" and "And Tango Makes Three." 

These and other books have been the target of censors who will stop at nothing to keep young people from discovering that there are gay families or lesbian moms, or kids struggling with the feelings they have about themselves and their attraction to the same gender. Given the serious issue of teen suicide among LGBT youth, these books can give a child a chance to read about those things that feel the most real to them. Teachers have been fired for including the books in their curriculum; librarians have been forced to remove the books from the shelves. And some novels have been burned publicly.


The event gets underway at 6:30pm when the doors open. We have silent auction items from local businesses such as New Leaf Market, Native Nurseries, Synergy Salon, Taste Budz, Fermentation Lounge, Joe's Bike Shop and more. The readings will begin at 7pm. Tickets to the event can be purchased ahead of time at www.mickeefaust.com or at the door. Entry is $10 general admission; $5 students, seniors and people with disabilities. All the proceeds go to PFLAG-Tallahassee.

(if you can't attend, you can still assist PFLAG-Tallahassee by purchasing a ticket through the Faust website).

End of shameless plug!

We Are Not A Better World

The state of Georgia has killed Troy Anthony Davis.  

Davis was convicted of shooting a Savannah police officer in August, 1989.  The officer, Mark MacPhail, was off-duty serving as a security guard at a Burger King when he tried to break up a fight where a homeless man was being beaten.

Davis had maintained he wasn't responsible for MacPhail's death.  And in recent months, seven of the nine witnesses who helped to put him at the scene of the crime with the .38 pistol recanted their earlier testimony.  Numerous prominent people, from former President Jimmy Carter to the Pope, had spoken out against his conviction and argued for prosecutors to look at the evidence again and let Troy Davis go.

Also in the mix was the MacPhail family, who lost their son to an act of violence when he was trying to protect another.  Understandably devastated, they have been waiting for the man convicted of killing their son, brother, father, husband to pay the price handed down by the court in 1991.  Prosecutors had convinced them Davis was the guilty man.  And they wanted their justice.

This is the world of the death penalty.  Justice through vengeance.  One violent act answered with another violent act.  The only difference being that one happened in a parking lot of Burger King with a pistol and the other was done in a sterile, methodical, slow drip of lethal injection in a prison.  Killing Troy Davis does not restore the life of Mark MacPhail.  But it does add to the body count in the case.

I have witnessed a state execution.  I know its surreal atmosphere.  I have witnessed both the families of murder victims and the families of the accused sitting in a soup of misery and grief.  At the end of the day, we may want to say that an execution means "justice has been served."  But what it really means is we have usurped the power of God to mete out the real justice in favor of our often-flawed version of it.

I hope that Troy, who maintained his innocence even on the gurney, is resting in peace with God.  And I especially pray for the Davis and MacPhail families that they may know the peace of God in a world that doesn't seem that peaceful. 

It's Getting Better... But Not Fast Enough For Some

Today, so many across the country celebrated the once-and-for-all end of Don't Ask Don't Tell.  I stopped by the Midtown Filling Station and toasted some of our local queer vets, hugged a couple more at the Mickee Faust Club, and felt the lightness in my own body of knowing that one of the more discriminatory policies of the past was done.

And then my heart sank.

In the Buffalo, NY, suburb of Williamsville, 14 year-old Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide on Sunday.  His parents say Jamey was bullied in middle school with anti-gay slurs and taunts.



The above video is Jamey's "It Gets Better" statement to other kids. He was a fan of the pop star, Lady Gaga.  The last message he sent on his Twitter account: @ladygaga bye mother monster, thank you for all you have done, paws up forever.

On a day of much rejoicing, it is a boy like Jamey who reminds us that our work continues.  Lady Gaga certainly does try to instill in her fans an understanding that they are beautiful beings worthy of love.  PFLAG works tirelessly at promoting a message that all people deserve equal rights.  And while the It Gets Better project has its heart in a very good place, I prefer our PFLAG message of "Make It Better Now!"  The Jameys of the world need to know that their schools and social clubs are safe, and harrassment via the internet won't be tolerated either.

It's ironic that the Big Bend Anti-Bullying Task Force in Leon County was showing the film, "Bullied" again tonight.  Perhaps someone should ship a copy of the film to Jamey's high school in upstate New York.

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell chapter is closed.  I look forward to when we finish the chapters on things such as bullicide of queer teens.  One day, this country will get bored with the Book of Homophobia.  But we are far from the end at this point.

Grant O Lord, Jamey, eternal rest
And may light perpetual shine upon him.

Envious of Generosity

In today's world, where you have 1,500 people applying to work for companies that only are hiring for 100 positions, the Gospel lesson from Matthew likely stings.

No, it burns!

Jesus tells the parable of the vineyard owner who needs workers.  He hires one crew early in the morning for "the usual daily wage."  Three hours later, he is bringing in another group that he finds standing idly and agrees to pay them "whatever is right."  He does the same thing at noon, at three in the afternoon, and finally hires a crew for the last hour of the work day.  When it's time to give everyone their wages, the ones who had been working all day are expecting a bigger paycheck.  But they find that everybody, including the ones who had only worked an hour, got the same wage.  They stamp their feet.  They pound their fists.  They mutter under the breath about the "unfairness" of the whole thing.  But the vineyard owner notes that this is his money to give out.  He'd said they'd get the usual daily wage... and he fulfilled that contract.  And he asks, "Are you envious because I am generous?"

In the ministry of helping the unemployed and underemployed, I hear similar complaints.  Why do we help the homeless when the middle class is getting squeezed to the point of wondering if they will be the homeless?  Why don't we notice the person sitting in the pew and hurting for lack of work?  Why are recently unemployed state workers getting all the media attention while the long-term unemployed have been forgotten? (The latter can be answered simply: large employer, massive lay-offs=media coverage).

I understand the frustration.  Is it that people care more for the truly destitute than the almost-destitute?  No, not necessarily.  Mostly, I think people just aren't aware of how much pain is sitting around them in a church because those inside the sanctuary don't appear to be in such dire straits as the person begging on a street corner across from the church.  What is sad is when the almost-poor begin to begrudge the really destitute what little charity is offered to them.  That does recall this question of being envious of the generosity.  

Just like with the loaves and the fishes, I think the point of this parable is that God is generous, and will give us exactly what we need.  There is no need for us to look to the right and to the left to figure out who is getting more because what we need is right under our own noses, and we should be focused on and paying attention to that; not what the other guy got.

And I find this parable in Matthew speaks to something even more amazing and profound, especially for those of us who refused to open the party invitation from God until later in life:

God is always inviting more people into the vineyard... and even if they only spend the last hour of the day in the vineyard, they too are showered with grace.  As I prepared my spiritual autobiography for my EfM class, I was overcome with how it doesn't matter to God when we come into the vineyard to work: God just wants us to put on our work gloves and join in picking the fruit from the vine.  Later, we'll eat grapes and press some into some of the smoothest wine imaginable!   Welcome to this party where the abundance and generosity overflow.  We don't need to be envious of this.  We just need to enjoy that we are part of a celebration.  And this is one party invite that is a true open door and not a pink slip into hell. 

I'm not saying that God will be giving out paychecks and health benefits.  Sadly, those are things that are more of Caesar's realm, not God's.  But my encouragement to those stuck in this jobless rut is to avoid the side glance to see what everyone else is getting or not getting in the way of assistance.  That's a sure-fire trip to anger and resentment which will exude from your pores and make you an "undesirable" employee.   Keep your eyes forward, lean into God and ask for help, and be ready when your plea is answered even in truly unexpected ways.  

A Cautionary Church Tale

Once upon a time, a stranger wandered through the doors of an Episcopal Church in a neighborhood of a large city.  The stranger didn't look very different from the others inside. The church had a moderate attendance that morning, but was hardly full, so the stranger took a seat in one of the last third of the pews, and settled in for prayerful reflection.
  
As the processional anthem began, another woman came in and seemed to want to sit in the same row with the stranger.  The stranger made room and all was well.  Until after the first lesson, the woman noticed someone familiar and moved up a few pews to sit with her friend, leaving the stranger to sit alone again.

At the end of the service, the stranger lingered in the pew.  No one around the stranger said, "Hello" or "Good morning."  No one inquired who this stranger was.  Not even the priests at the door bothered to find out who was this otherwise unknown character.  It was assembly-line time: a handshake, a nod of the head, and out the door. 

The stranger wandered away... never to be seen again.

I tell this story because it is what has happened to me... even as recently as a few weeks ago.   Churches become these insular country clubs where everyone knows who their friends are, and nobody takes time to greet someone new.  Priests are so pre-occupied, or self-absorbed, that they don't inquire about the new face in the crowd or make a point of having someone or someones on hand to take on that role of greeter.  The sad part is that the stranger, or more appropriately, this stranger having felt no real contact from the congregation or the priest will walk out the door, and the likelihood that he or she will return? Nill.

I walked into St. John's in the late winter of 1991, desperate to find an Episcopal Church that embodied the spirit of Christ and the liturgy in a way that didn't seem so foreign to this "yankee" Episcopalian.   I walked away from St. John's in  the late summer of 1991 because it was easy to leave.  No one had noticed me coming and going, or attempted to make me feel welcomed in their midst.  And with a new love life brewing and tugging at my interests, it was easy to let go of a community that had kept me a stranger.

Because I have had this experience of church, I make a point of being warm toward the people I don't recognize at St. John's.  Often times, I discover they are someone who is just trying us out for a Sunday, or is passing through town and came to church.  In those cases, I let them know that they can always come back.  It's an important component I think to making our otherwise large smells-and-bells church feel like a home of God and not just a house of God.

One church I visited did an interesting thing.  As a way of immediately tackling that wall between the church cliques and the visitors, the priest stepped out in front of the congregation before the service began, and asked everyone to take a moment and greet each other in the pews.   This was not the passing of the peace, but rather a simple acknowledgement of one another's existence.  It was nice, and suddenly I felt less like a stranger and more like a part of the group.   

Such little things do make a difference.

What Would Jesus Experience?

H/T The Christian Left

I posted this a few days ago on Facebook, but that was before the Republican Presidential debate on CNN where the so-called Tea Party was the sponsor.   During the debate Ron Paul, who some are trying to characterize as the "moderate voice" in the field of fools running hard to the right, offered that a 30 year-old man who has no health insurance and then becomes dangerously ill should be left for dead. 

Why should we have a social safety net?  Or worse--why should we entertain a socialistic approach to health care like universal coverage?  The video reminded me of what I wrote in 2009 in "Send 'Em A Bill."

Yes, if Jesus were a candidate for President of the United States, I'd say he'd be polling pretty badly.  Damn dirty hippie!