Taking Up The Cross and a Cause

He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.--Mark 8:34

It was one week after the Valentine's Ash Wednesday massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and the word had been spreading far and wide throughout Tallahassee: come to the state Capitol and show the students that we are going to fight for their right to go to their public school and not be mowed down by a semi-automatic weapon. Our school board and school superintendent thought this rally was important enough that they granted excused absences to any student wishing to attend. Marches organized on both the Florida State and Florida A&M University campuses, approaching the Capitol from south and the north sides. And then there were just the ordinary, work-a-day folks like me, who laid aside whatever was on the day's agenda to make this event the priority.

I don't have kids. I have never wanted to have kids of my own. The "biological clock" that I, as a woman, supposedly have built into my system must have broken back when I was a teenager because I haven't felt less feminine or upset that I didn't experience pregnancy and birth and then the responsibility of raising a child. All that said, I still have a tender spot in my heart for children. I delight in their successes (often shared with me by their proud parents), and I feel empathy for them when the world knocks them around because I remember that for my youth. But I never had to practice what to do in the event of an active shooter entering my school. And I never had to worry about someone wielding an AR-15 or other weapon firing multiple high-powered shots at me and my peers. Today's children are facing greater dangers than I ever did. And it's not OK.

So, just as I have done for Black Lives Matter, and standing up for Muslims in the face of a travel ban, and joining in silent peaceful protest for indigenous people fighting the Dakota Access pipeline, I went to the state Capitol not for me and my kind, but for those who are under attack: kids in public schools.

And what an experience! I arrived about ten minutes after the appointed gathering time of 11am. Already, there were probably about 300 people at the state Capitol, many of them teenagers from the local schools. I felt my heart swell with love and pride in these kids as they led chants of "We Want Change!" and "Vote Them Out!" Their voices were clear and loud and there was an urgency to their calls for action. The crowd kept growing. More people, young and old, and even a man in a WWII veteran baseball cap being pushed in a wheelchair carefully made his way through the growing throng of people. By the time the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School arrived, there were more than 3,000 people crammed into the area in front of the Old State Capitol. It was amazing. The crowd was so large that the PA system they were using wasn't quite powerful enough for the people standing out in Monroe Street to hear the speakers. But it didn't matter. The speeches weren't "the thing"; it was the presence, the witness, and the commitment to the Parkland students that we, the grown-ups, won't let them down again.

Because we have let them down before. As I said, we have accepted a society where the children of today must not only practice how to leave the building during a fire drill, but must know what to do in an active shooter situation. Really? Shouldn't we be about making sure that there are no active shooter situations? Is there a reason that we have tolerated the expansion of the gun culture?

One day after the rally in Tallahassee, and a follow-up town hall on CNN, the National Rifle Association was peddling its agenda of fear and horror to conservative voters at the CPAC meeting. NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch actually said that the mainstream media, or what she called the "legacy" media, enjoy mass shootings because it's a ratings booster to show "sobbing white mothers." NRA leader Wayne LaPierre tried to feed into the paranoia that the Democratic Party is attempting to use a "new European socialist" approach to taking away everyone's guns. Some NRA members have decided to make death threats against the kids from Parkland, FL, who are speaking out about the shooting at their school. How ugly can you get?

But the voices of the children are vibrating at a frequency much higher than what we've seen before. Corporate America, which had been offering all kinds of membership benefits to people who flashed their NRA card, have started dropping the gun enthusiasts like the hot potatoes that they are. Politicians, refusing to cut loose from their NRA overlords, are feeling the pressure from voters in ways they are not used to experiencing. They're hearing from teens, parents, grandparents. But they are also hearing from the childless people such as me. Because this issue is bigger than me, or any one individual. This is a collective fight for the restoration of sanity to our country. I will pick up that cross and carry it into the streets, and into the voting booth this fall. 

Ash Wednesday: Mortality Too Close to the Surface

I was going to write a post yesterday noting that Ash Wednesday this year landed on Valentine's Day and my 50th Birthday. Fifty--the Jubilee Year--a year to celebrate freedom and returning to one's roots.

But I made the mistake of looking at Facebook. And there was the live stream from one of the south Florida TV stations doing coverage of the 18th shooting at a school in the United States, this time in Broward County at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. 

Two dead. Then seven. Finally, the number climbed to seventeen. The shooter, a 19 year-old former student, was captured after initially eluding police. The details about his life and what was known, and not known, about him are coming to light and will continue to surface over the next several days.

And then, the story will fade from the headlines. People won't be talking about it. News crews will leave Parkland, Florida. Nothing will change.

One of the most striking images I saw from Parkland was that of a parent holding her teenager, arm around her, rushing her away from the scene with the unmistakable black ash of a cross on the mom's forehead. 

Wow. That's right: it was Ash Wednesday. "Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return." But do we really believe that a child at 14, 15, 16 years old or even an otherwise healthy thirty-something year old adult are going to return to the dust? Does a parent really think that kissing their child good-bye and sending them off to school is akin to sending them to a war zone? 

This sobering thought was on my mind for the rest of the day and into my own trip to an Ash Wednesday service. I couldn't stop thinking about the image of that mom, the terror that must have filled the hearts of both the kids and the adults. Tears came to my eyes as I watched a family go forward for the imposition of ashes. As the rector traced the sign of the cross on the forehead of the toddler, it felt like a punch to my gut. I looked at that and thought, "Newtown." 

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of a 40-day journey into self-examination and reflection. And while I can't do the spiritual work of anyone other than myself, it seems we are dying--literally--to examine our political leaders inability to do anything to address the wide-spread availability of semi-automatic weapons and reflect on whether we want something different. 

The Broward County Sheriff, the Governor, and several politicians described Wednesday's massacre as "evil." I agree. And a mentally-disturbed person armed with a semi-automatic weapon is more dangerous than a mentally-disturbed person who is unarmed. Refusing to acknowledge and address the issue of guns is like Peter in the courtyard pretending he doesn't know Jesus in those hours before his execution. The good news about Peter's betrayal is that he felt remorse and he had the opportunity to undo his denial by affirming his love for the risen Jesus. Perhaps this could be something for our political leaders to contemplate while they are down on their knees praying for the victims of gun violence. Maybe if they listen closely they'll hear a call to stand for something other than the money they receive from the NRA.

Lent would be as good a time as any for lawmakers to change their ways and take this issue seriously.

Born to Give

 

 

Today is my 44th birthday.  (loud cheering and applause) Thank you, thank you.  No, really, thank you.

 

I am thankful on this day not only for my life, but for the many friends and family who make living  especially sweet.  As I drove to the tax collector's office today to get my driver's license renewed, my phone rang.  It was my niece calling from Connecticut to sing, "Happy Birthday" to me.  It was such a treat and not something I expected and totally worth the call while in traffic.

 

Birthdays are the days on the calendar when we are expected to receive.  People are expected to be nice to the birthday girl or boy allowing them to have their cake and eat it, too.  This avalanche of nice, for some of us, can be a big challenge.  We are more used to meeting demands and have become conditioned to act from a place that it is better to give of one's self rather than to receive.  "Receiving" seems decadent and selfish and just plain wrong.  But knowing how to accept kindness, love and gratitude is not a virtue to be dismissed.  If we give of ourselves all the time, without being open to receiving, then we will become depleted.  And once depleted, what is there left to give?   Like a lot of things,  I think this comes back to balance and being in right relationship with others.  When I consider my relationship with God, it is definitely one of giving and receiving.  God has loved me and beyond measure and without me doing anything to deserve it.  This love is freely offered.  And because of it, I am inspired to give love back; thus through the receiving, I become more giving.

 

Traditionally, I have encouraged friends and family to use my birthday as a time to make donations to causes that help the LGBT community in our continuing efforts to attain full equality.  I have thrown parties and encouraged people to donate whatever they would have spent on a gift to any number of groups.  I get tremendous joy out of surprising organizations with the news that they are getting a chunk o' change from Florida.  I call them my "Birthday Beneficiaries," and they are delighted.   For me, the pay off is in knowing that someone living somewhere else and facing obstacles based on their sexual orientation or gender identity will possibly benefit from services provided from these organizations.  They will be given shelter, or support, or the affirmation through humor that they are not in this life alone.   As I have said at other times on this blog, the incarnation of Christ in today's world is when we stretch our hands out to grasp the hand of another so they know somebody sees them and won't leave them behind.

 Past Birthday beneficiaries have been:

• Integrity USA, Hopkins Fund (to help LGBT people in Africa);
• St. Paul's Foundation for International Reconciliation (to specifically support the work of Bishop Christopher Senyonjo in Uganda to protect the LGBT population);
• PFLAG, both National and the Tallahassee Chapter (helping parents, families and friends of lesbians and gays);
• Mickee Faust Club (supporting their Queer As Faust Festival in June);
• This Way Out (an international LGBT radio magazine produced on a shoe-string and a prayer in LA).

If anyone has a yen to make a contribution to one of these organizations, I encourage you to do so.  And enjoy that feeling of making a difference in the life of someone else.

 

From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.

Happy Birthday to me!  Pass the love around!

 

 

 

Choosing Life

I laughed out loud at St. John's yesterday when our priest-in-charge, Fr. Dave, read the gospel, ascended into the pulpit, prayed, looked out at the congregation and said:
"Bet you're wondering what I'm gonna do with this one!"
Yeah, I was!!
The Matthew gospel is the one that makes people squirm. If you are angry with your neighbor, you are committing murder in your heart. If you lust after a woman in your heart, you are committing adultery. If you marry a divorced woman, you are committing adultery. Smack, slap, gut-punch, take that!! Welcome to what it means to follow God.
I liked what Fr. Dave had to say in regards to addressing the small fires (petty fights, words spoken in anger, etc.) before they gather steam toward the murderous, adulterous acts that break us apart from each other and from God. Really, if you think about it, if you want to walk humbly with God, consider how you are walking with your friends, family, strangers that you meet during the day. Treat people right.

Which brings me to the title of this post, "Choosing Life" which, I believe, was the underlying message of all the readings yesterday. We got it fully in the Deuteronomy passage, where Moses challenges Israel by laying before them God's message of choosing life over death. For me, this is the bass drum beat of all of the messages that are in Scripture. Each choice we make will lead us to a new set of choices which move us further along the path of eternal life or eternal death. Choose life! It's more liberating than death! And even when we stumble (because we will) there is always the choice to pick ourselves up, shake the dust off and keep walking the path toward life. Forgiveness is available for the asking. Grace is given for free.

As one who aspires to stay on a path of eternal life, I listened to the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians, talking about being a planter, and another being the waterer... but God providing the growth. And here, too, I feel this is about choosing life. Planting and watering are the works of a gardener encouraging a seed to grow. But ultimately, that growth happens because there was a seed planted at the start... and God provides the light to foster its growth. There have been people in my life who have influenced my growth in understanding of God's love... which translates into a love of all that is around me, people and animals and nature. In turn, this is the love I offer back as best as I can. It's not proselytizing; it's just being.

And that's my Happy Valentine's Birthday message to all of you.

Be My Valentine?

I was born on Valentine's Day, 1968. My mom was busily working on another NH Presidential Primary election when her water broke. About four hours later, I arrived. I had made my deadline (the doctor had told my mother I would be born on Valentine's Day. She laughed.) I used to hate it when kids would tease me about my birthday, calling me "Val-en-tine's BAY-BEE!" I quickly figured out, however, that being born on Valentine's Day means that I will be more likely to receive cards and gifts. And, as a youngster who sensed that my affections were 'different', I thought this was a great way to fill the void that I feared would be there in my life... that lack of a special someone.

Born amidst my mom's political activism, I think it must have entered my blood in utero because I have always been aware of the comings and goings of "the world." I was the child in my elementary school who knew who Anwar Sadat was. I understood inflation by the sudden increase in the price of comic books from $0.25 to $0.35. I had been moved deeply when we read about Martin Luther King, Jr. in my second grade class, and I fought with my father over the merits of the man's life and why didn't New Hampshire honor him with a holiday?!

Valentine's Day and political activism have come full circle in my life as I have entered my forties with a spirit of giving rather than receiving at my birthday. I do like cards. I do like gifts. But I also like to spread the love further and to those who could use a virtual hug and a kiss to know that somebody appreciates them.

As a lesbian, it is my choice to extend the love to others who love as I do, and whom some in the world see as pariahs to despise. It's not that I don't care about other causes; it's that I care to share my birthday love with LGBT groups that are making it possible for others like me to live and love freely.

Want to be My Valentine? Please consider donating whatever amount feels right to you to the following:

• St. Paul's Foundation for International Reconciliation. This is an organization headed by Rev. Canon Albert Ogle in San Diego, CA. Its focus is on helping communities commit to reconciliation particularly around LGBT issues, HIV/AIDS, women and literacy. They are supporting the work of retired Ugandan Bishop Christopher Senyonjo, who has risked his life to help LGBT Ugandans (+Christopher shared the front page of the scurrilous Ugandan rag "Rolling Stone" with the late David Kato. The newspaper called for the hanging of "homos". ) As anyone who has followed my blog or postings at Facebook knows, I have been deeply troubled by Kato's murder and the subsequent circus that happened at his funeral. Please follow this link to make a donation.

• Unfit: The Documentary. I was surprised to get an email last year from a movie producer looking for copies of my reports on the infamous Ward vs. Ward case. Mary Ward was a lesbian mom, living in the Florida panhandle, who lost custody of her nine year-old daughter to her ex-husband, John. John's credentials included time served on a charge of killing his first wife. The trial judge, Joseph Tarbuck, stated from the bench that he felt the girl needed to live in a "non-lesbian world." I covered the case on appeal, both for Florida Public Radio, and NPR and "This Way Out". Mary Ward lost the appeal... and months later died of a heart attack. The case sent a chill through the gay and lesbian community, especially among LGBT parents. Now, more than a decade later, FOMO Films is making a documentary about the case. They're close to being finished, but could use some more funds. This is a story that needs to be told. Please follow this link to make a donation.

• This Way Out. I shared with my PFLAG group that this half-hour radio magazine did so much to make my life as a college student who felt isolated from the gay community in Columbia, Missouri, much more tolerable. Every week, I knew I could tune into KOPN-FM and find "my people". When I graduated from Journalism School, and began working in Florida, I could return the favor by providing news of the LGBT community of our state to the program. It's a very lean outfit with co-producers Greg Gordon and Lucia Chappelle, and a variety of supporting staff. They put this product together for distribution to community radio stations and some international outlets. And they are always in need of funds. Please follow this link to make a donation.

• PFLAG. A heart has four chambers, and so my final Valentine goes to the organization that helped to answer my mom's questions when she needed to talk to someone other than me. It has been there for so many young people who are looking for a community of moms and dads and allies who will love them for who they are. And it has been a force to contend with when our requests for equal treatment under the law are met with scoffs of "special rights." Don't ever tell a PFLAG mom or dad that their child is seeking "special rights"! You can contact me if you want to donate to our local chapter. Or please follow this link to make a donation to our national organization.

This is not an exhaustive list. If you have your favorite, please make a gift to help somebody else know that living "in the life" is OK. That's the best way to be My Valentine!

Prayer of Thanksgiving

The priest with whom I serve on Fridays at the noon day eucharist is celebrating a major milestone today. Fr. Lee Graham is 90! To mark this occassion, I ask that you pray this thanksgiving from the BCP:

O God, our times are in your hand: Look with favor, we
pray, on you servant Lee as he begins another year. Grant
that he may grow in wisdom and grace, and strengthen his
trust in your goodness all the days of his life; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.

Now Fr. Graham is a veteran of the Episcopal Church in Birmingham at the time of Martin Luther King, Jr.and the civil rights movement. In fact, he was one of the ministers who went to visit King in the Birmingham jail. The experience did much to shape and change this white native Southerner. So growing in wisdom... wow, he has a lot now. But I will trust that God has more to give him... and to give all of us.

Video of the Queer Carnival

Happy Valentine's Day Birthday...some pictures

I am awaiting the photos that were taken by friends at my birthday party Saturday night. When they arrive, I will share. I know Gena took a really nice one of the Tiger on parade. These are some pictures I took of my "creative arts". Since this party was doubling as a fundraiser for noble queer causes (Queer As Faust, PFLAG-Tallahassee, and Integrity Uganda), and I had developed a silly survey on my invitation that at least 38 people filled out... I wanted to award my guests with some prizes. So... as an example... to those who answered my question about "What's the most pressing question facing the LGBT community today?", I drew the names of five people at the party... and they each received their very own "Do Ask, Do Tell" rainbow army!

The other exciting moment of the evening was the parading of my Chinese New Year tribute... my paper mache tiger head... or as I call it "The Tiger Dragon". Here's documentation of the effort.... before I attached the long red train, and gave the eyes some more color.

But probably the most important element of the party were the people, my friends, who joined with me to celebrate the day of my birth (even if we were doing it a little earlier than the actual Valentine's Day). A couple I knew years ago just happened to be in town, having escaped the snow in DC, and threw lots of party energy into the room... and another former Tallahassee couple actually drove over from Jacksonville to take part in my fundraising fete. And as I looked around the room at one moment, I was reminded of the time in my trauma training class in massage school when everybody put their hands on my back and I was to lean back and let them hold me. It was the most awesome feeling of support I'd experienced. And seeing so many faces in the room smiling and laughing and having fun, I appreciated again not only the feeling of support, but the feeling of love... an incarnated love... in the room.

My fundraising was a success, too! Altogether, my friends offered $1,100 for my three charitable causes. Not bad for 40 people... many of them with the same limited financial resources that I have! Truly, a marvelous occassion. Happy Birthday to me!

Preparations for A Party

Sunday, I will be turning 42. But since Sunday is Sunday... and Valentine's Day is never a good day to have a party... I will be gathering with friends the night before for revelry and raising the roof for good causes!

Yes, you read correctly... raising the roof for good causes. It is my choice and desire that my birthday take on a theme of breathing life into queer organizations that need as much help as they can get.

And so, this Saturday, I will be throwing a "Queer Carnival" celebrating my birthday, Mardi Gras, Valentine's Day, and the Chinese New Year all into one crazy, creative, costumed fete! The Chinese are celebrating the Year of the Tiger starting Feb. 14th... and so, provided the weather holds... we will take our tiger energy into the street and fearlessly proclaim the goodness and rightness of equality for all! I've been busy creating the Tiger head that we will carry along with our noisemakers. Pictures to be posted in the future! That's the fun part.

But what about gifts? Isn't that what birthdays are about? Yeah... sure. But I have been given lots of gifts already... ones that I feel inside the marrow of my bones. And so, with the money one would have spent on a gift of some extravagance... I'm asking my friends to put those dollars and cents into the donation jars for three excellent causes:

*Queer As Faust 3: the Mickee Faust Club's now annual gay pride festival during June. Our theatre troupe has put all our money into a major renovation project... and so QAF3 needs some seed money to afford to put on the programs we want to bring to Tallahassee.

*PFLAG-Tallahassee: our new little chapter that could is building momentum, but has a very meager bank account. We could use some extra cash to purchase materials, books and DVDs for our library.

*Integrity Uganda: talk about folks who need our help NOW! LGBT people in the African nation are living in fear as are those who want to bring services and affirmation of their worthiness to them. I'll have "Voices of Witness: Africa" playing in one room for people to see the folks they will be helping with their donations.

I was hoping to include some donations to Haiti, but sadly the group that was collecting on behalf of the gay community has chosen not to respond to requests for information. And past experience tells me that if someone won't respond to an email, or a phone call, they don't want the money. Sad, but there it is.

Meanwhile, the Integrity folks were all over my request for information. In fact, I received a very nice email proclaiming, "Thanks be to God for Susan!" Awww, shucks. :)

A New Queer Comic Book Hero

I have never thought of myself as a superhero, let alone a featured character in the battle for "love, justice, and the queer way"! But my friends apparently think it is only fitting that I should do battle against the Governor of Florida... and others who would amend the state's constitution to cancel out civil rights for gays and lesbians. I am only posting a few select panels.... to leave you in suspense! Does Flat Top defeat the forces of evil? Do her pumpkin chuckin' skills do in the unnaturally-tanned Gov. Charlie Crist? Write your own conclusion in the comment section!!

And thanks to Danielle and Sam K. for their comedic comic book!

Sowing Seeds on My Birthday

Laissez les bon temps rouler and stick those checks in the flower pots on the mantlepiece, y'all! I'm in my "philanthropic forties" and thus I threw a Mardi Gras Happy Birthday Happy Hour and asked my friends to again to make contributions to four of my favorite queer causes. Because our economy is so lousy, I didn't want to push people too hard on this.

But still, my buddies are big-hearted generous people, and I was able to raise more than $600 for Queer As Faust, This Way Out, PFLAG, and Impact Tallahassee. Not too shabby for a time when many people are holding onto their hats in a city that has a populace that is very afraid of potential state government lay-offs. Thanks for sowing the seeds of equality, my friends!

In exchange for their generousity, my partner, Isabelle, worked tirelessly to prepare two big pots of Gumbo and Red Beans and Rice...

Witness the delicacies that awaited my friends. The two pots of two epicurean favorites of New Orleans were big hits with our guests. Many were able to get seconds, and still have plenty of room for the King's Cake!

Two King's Cakes somehow managed to feed the 50 or so people who were in the room when we commenced with a glorious rendition of "Happy Birthday". I have to admit, I was a little worried at first because I wasn't sure if there would be enough to feed everyone. But, amazingly, I experienced a bit of that "loaves and fishes" magic, and--presto!--everyone was fed Kings Cake, and there was even an extra slice for moi, the birthday girl!

So it was quite a fun evening. My dear friends, Diana and Matt, were a tremendous help again...especially in the Mardi Gras bead department (one has to wonder how Diana got all those beads??) And I am now the star of a comic book! I will post on that at another time...mayhaps tomorrow.

For now, Happy Valentine's Day or Lupercalia...or Frederick Douglass Day...or Cyril and Methodius Day.....or just plain ol' Happy Birthday, Susan!