Sunday, October 10, 2010

Choral Evensong Contemplation

Another beautiful choral evensong at St. John's brought about some deep contemplation of this one verse from Psalm 111:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
those who act accordingly have a good understanding;
his praise endures for ever.


These words were sung in the early part of the service, and hung on in my mind. Particularly the phrase "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." The "fear" is the moment of awe, the point at which one becomes aware of a power beyond one's self. Becoming aware of "the Lord", of God, is the beginning of wisdom. To many of my friends such awareness is the beginning of foolishness. This is the common view you find in a world that has seen the hypocrisy of the Church and mistaken it for God. How can one say it is the beginning of wisdom when you consider the behavior of those who claim the mantle of Christ, and yet would deny the full dignity of every human being?

Simple: understand that the Church, the people, is not God. This is something I figured out many years ago and it became the rock of my faith when I came out as a lesbian. If I had made the mistake of thinking the Bible-thumping people standing on street corners and damning me to Hell were speaking for God, I would have been wrong. I might even say that would have been blasphemous. The God who knew me before I was formed would not now spit in my face and call me "faggot!" or deny people like me a place at the banquet table.

Being aware of God's vast and incredible power and then knowing, and living, in accordance with the wisdom that the eternal life promised to us is something we can access right now, I believe, is the "good understanding" the psalmist references. Having that in my head while listening to our choirsters sing the Magnificant brought tears to my eyes:

For he that is mighty hath magnified me, *
and holy is his Name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him *
throughout all generations.
He hath showed strength with his arm; *
he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat, *
and hath exalted the humble and meek.
He hath filled the hungry with good things, *
and the rich he hath sent empty away.

Indeed, his praise endures forever! What a promise to those of us who, against the wisdom extolled by "the world", have been willing to seem foolish in our pursuit of God.

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