Saturday, October 29, 2011

Love is a Four-Letter Word

I was privileged to witness a beautiful wedding today.

My two friends, Sarah and Margeaux, were smudged (and handcuffed) in a ceremony that celebrated their love, beauty and levity of their relationship.  And it happened in the state of Florida, which specifically prohibits same-sex marriage.  But this was all legal.  Margeaux, an MTF transgender, had retained some of the "male markers" that allowed for this to be a "legitimate" marriage ceremony by the state's standards.

It was very special to be part of this moment.  These two make a lovely couple, and the story of their meeting (aided in part by my buddy Jimmers in a devil costume at Halloween) was priceless and spoke to how when one meets a soul mate, you just know it's right.  And gender?  Who cares!  I'm convinced that God does not ... nor did the man in the devil outfit.

There are so many in this state that would like to have the opportunity to pledge their love to their life partner in a public ceremony witnessed by friends and family, and have it really count.  But until there is a revolution to change the constitution, we must go elsewhere to get married.  Many of my friends have made arrangements to marry in Massachusetts, Vermont, DC, and even some got hitched during that brief period in California.  The transgender community can, in some cases, exploit the loopholes about "one man, one woman" in the law to get around the ridiculous barriers. 

After the wedding proper, the conversation among some of us turned to the topic of the law and its discrimination.   We appreciated Margeaux's remarks about the intentionality of her decision to keep some of the "male markers" in place so that she and Sarah could legally be married.  All of us were for it, and all of us agreed that it is wrong that anyone should have to do that.  We marveled at the willingness of some to stand firmly and squarely in opposition to love.  Because that's what it really boils down to: opposing love.  They are so threatened by the idea that two people of the same gender might love one another.  And for that, we have to have a constitutional amendment?  As one person said, "Love is a four-letter word."  Sadly, so is fear.  And it is the latter that seems to dominate whenever the discussion arises of permitting the LGBT community some share in that pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.

Margeaux said at the ceremony that she hopes for a day when we there won't be a prohibition against LGBT people getting married to the person who they love.  I have that same hope. 

1 comment:

phoebe McFarlin said...

I enjoy weddings when they are the public joining of soul mates. It is such a shame that people need to depend on loopholes in order legally make such declaration.