Friday, September 2, 2011

It's Complicated

I seem to be going through another one of those growth spurts in my faith journey. And I can feel it in my day-to-day living and relating to other people.

I’m challenged. I find myself really challenged to see the Christ in people who seem to see the Satan in me. My lesbian sexual orientation, for them, proves that I am possessed by a demon and that if I were really a Christian, I would not be a queer Christian.

In their world, God doesn’t like the taste of fruits.

These are the same people who would turn on their own children if their child were to reveal their orientation to them and beat them black and blue. This, apparently, is the “Christian” response to those whom you once loved, but now must hate because they are possessed.

As a PFLAG leader, I am challenged with how to reach out to the pockets in our community who see me as a fallen angel out to tempt their children into “that lifestyle.” Seeing me in their midst not proselytizing but standing with them may have some impact, but not enough for them to see the Christ in me.

As a Christian, I am then doubly-challenged to see the Christ in them, and to offer forgiveness for their trespass against me.

This is all part of what it is to remain in a relationship with God. This ability to feel the pain of rejection and anger and hatred, and yet not fall into that Hell hole of retaliating in kind. This is what seems to be the way of God, “The Way” that Christ left behind for his apostles to carry on. And since I believe that apostolic succession is not just for bishops, but is for all of us, then if I truly put on the mantle of Christ, I must be prepared for the arrows that will try to pierce that mantle. Holding my own with God’s help, and not back-sliding, seems to be the answer. I will wrestle with these things, but even if my hip joint is put out of place, I will survive.

This is a most complicated relationship.


Leonardo Ricardo said...

No doubt about it. It would have been far more easy, less challenging, even less dangerous to have tip-toed around my own life (and I did for years and almost killed myself while trying to dull the pain). When I was about 35 I realized that God, yes God, had finally delivered a clear message to me (as usual, God waited until I was not able to actually see the burning bush--I was drunk)...the message was that God wanted, no insisted, that I ¨be¨ the authentic person that God created me to more running, no more cunning...simply ¨be me.¨ What a relief that was. Sure, God expected me to use the common sense that God equips all of us with--so I have. There have been many troublesome REAL LIFE scenarios that enter my life since God revealed me to me BUT one thing is sooo much better than before:

I don´t need the acceptance and validation that I once thrived to receive--I now have trust in God that all is as it is meant to be (and that may include me becoming the focus of other people who need to see themselves amongst all of Gods family).

Firm upper lip, onward we go being the people that God created us to be.

Abrazos fuerte,

Anonymous said...

Wow! He certainly should make you feel better.


MadPriest said...

They cannot see the Christ in you because they are blinded to it by the evil that is within them. It is a gift of true Christianity to see not just the good in people but also the evil. If you can see both the good and the evil in a person then you are a Christian. If you can only see one or the other then you are not looking through the eyes of the Christ who is within you. Identify and acknowledge the evil that is within your accusers like Jesus did and then you will be free to forgive them, as Jesus did.

SCG said...

Bless you and thank you both Leonardo and MP. You've given me a boost to carry on.