An Open Letter to All My Communities

Dear Everybody,

I am writing this letter to all of you, wherever you are. This is to my friends in the gay community, the Christian community, the Mickee Faust community, the Leon County/Tallahassee, FL, community... all of which have the common bond of being part of the overarching human community.

I am just one person, one voice, one human being trying to muddle through this world we call life. And I am sad and depressed by what I witness in the world. Today, I read in the gospel of Matthew about the parable of the seed and the sower. I read about what happens to the seed thrown on rocky ground, or amidst the thorns, and then what happens when the seed lands on "good soil". And the passage ended with these words:

But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. (Matt 13:16)

And I thought, "Are you serious?? Blessed??" What have my eyes seen and my ears heard lately?

Cowardice. Fear. Control. Anger. Hurt. These are very loud, incessant and ever-present noises that blow tons of smoke and drown out the beauty and the joy in the world. Even on a gorgeous, spring day in Tallahassee, I found it hard to find what was the blessing of this life. And I'm tired. I'm tired of the pitting of my rights as a gay person against the rights of a business owner to deny me a job or services. I'm tired of having to beg for the indulgence of being allowed such rights in the first place. I'm tired of Christians who keep quiet about injustice, and the others who claim to put on the mantle of Christ and then use that mantle to wrap themselves in their cowardice, fears, control, anger and hurt toward other people. I'm just plain tired!!

And I'm blessed? My mentor once told me that the closer I move toward God, the more the forces that are not "of God" will try to interfere and push me away. And "blessing", in this instance, means "possessing an inward contentedness and joy that is not affected by physical circumstances".

So clearly, I have to get back to contentedness and joy because the physical circumstances are burying me. I have a plan on how to do that.

The upside: I have received word from many of my Episcoposse that they have heard my cry for prayerful help, and are doing so. Thank you all, and peace be with you.

In the meantime, know that the bad behavior of 'the world' as of late has been making me very tired. Take responsibility for yourselves, and stop projecting all your fear and anger stuff onto me. Is there something wrong with letting people be people (be they gay, straight, Christian or atheist)?

Peace. Out.

"Love One Another"

"‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another."--John 15: 12-17

In the garden at my church, there is a fountain with the words, "Love One Another". It's a calming and lovely piece of art to look at. Water runs down from doves and a crucifix in a steady flow. When I've looked at this fountain, I've imagined this to be representative of God's love flowing down over all that is.

Good thing to keep in mind as you read this post. The lesson of the new commandment Jesus was giving to the disciples was yesterday's gospel lesson at noon-day. It was an amazing contrast to the week as it was in Tallahassee, FL.

The spill-over from the contentious review of the Human Rights Ordinance sunk to yet another new low when Commissioner Bill Proctor sent a letter to Sheriff Larry Campbell requesting more security due to the actions of "alleged deaf citizen" Terry Galloway. With a stroke of the keys on a keyboard, Commissioner Proctor went from offending not only the LGBT community, but alienating the disabled as well. Further hitting a flat note was the Tallahassee Democrat's editorial board. In an effort to call for civility in the public discourse, they chided the LGBT community for threatening a "buycott" of businesses that oppose the HRO and seemed to lend defense to Commissioner Proctor's right to go on and on ad nauseum referring to the LGBT community as pedophiles. The "threat" made to Commissioner Proctor by my friend and neighbor was nothing akin to the violence and bullying we've been witnessing from the Tea Partiers. Sheriffs deputies were right to remove her, and she did not resist them escorting her from the room. But her words (No! You compare me to a pedophile! Shame! This is the kind of hatred we are trying to get rid of!) do not rise to the level of "threat"... not on the Homeland Security scale... nor even on the school playground. Buycotts and protests are all in keeping with the history of any minority group trying to wield what little power it has to stand up to the majority. Clearly, the editorial board does not understand this, and does not understand or appreciate what we of the LGBT community face from the majority.

As I stood with Fr. Lee Graham outside the chapel yesterday, he asked me how things were going with this ordinance debate. He is no stranger to civil rights struggles as one who found himself in the thick of things in Alabama during the brave stands of Martin Luther King, Jr. I told him my version of the truth: that while I understand small businesses of five or more employees being afraid to be sued, fear of litigation is not reason enough to deny protections to minority groups... including those of a different sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. And I sighed, "I have again witnessed new and amazing ways in which people can be hateful and mean to one another."

Fr. Graham shook his head. "Well, isn't that the lesson for today? 'Hate one another as I have hated you?'"

And that brings us full circle, back to the garden, and the water that flows like God's love over all that is. In his homily, Fr. Graham noted that we don't get to choose God because God is the one choosing us. I would add, "whether we want to be chosen or not!" God has long since made the promise to be with us to the end of the age, and there was no asterisk on that statement. That means being with ALL of us. Amidst the rancor, I have struggled to quiet myself and stay tapped into the Love that keeps flowing like a fountain... and not allow those who are projecting and preaching fear and hatred to suck me into their vortex. It is very hard. It would be easy to go through that gate, and meet them in the Hell of their own creation.

So, in an effort to remember... and re-member myself to that source of Love... I offer up this prayer:

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love
our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth:
deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in
your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you,
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
--Book of Common Prayer, pg. 816

True Grace

Pictured above is Grace Mission Episcopal Church. It sits at the edge of what's known as the Frenchtown neighborhood, a predominantly African-American part of the inner city of Tallahassee. It's only about five blocks away from the local homeless shelter, and close to both the city and Greyhound bus depots. It started from the will of a few committed Episcopalians... according to the website:

The idea was for a radical kind of ministry that crossed racial, social, and economic lines to minister to the whole person. In January 1977, the Diocese of Florida accepted Grace Mission as a mission station attached to its founding Tallahassee parish. Shortly thereafter, Grace Mission became an outreach mission of the Diocese of Florida and the Apalachee Council on Ministry. That is its status today.

Grace Mission has become the church home and anchor in the lives of many men, women and children who find themselves living at the homeless shelter, and struggling with poverty and the problems of addiction. There are after school programs, worship services and Bible Study times, as well as the practical needs of food and a place to shower and launder clothing. Grace is one of the outreach efforts of St. John's Episcopal Church, and those from St. John's involved with the Mission speak with love and pride in what it is doing to give people in need a place to open their hearts and be present with God.

But Grace Mission hit a financial pothole this winter when St. Peter's Anglican Church took it's $24, 500 contribution away from the little church that could. More on that in another post at another time.

Needless to say, this "take-away"can be seen as the completion of what started in October, 2005, when Evil departed the Episcopal Church... and, like the Pied Piper, led the gullible down the street and began hatching plans for his Tower of Babel to be built in the affluent NE section of Tallahassee.

You are reading that correctly: they took $24, 500, away from the poor, the needy, the friendless... y'know, the people Jesus told us to meet as our neighbor and build up, so they could have something to put toward the eight MILLION dollars in seed money for a cathedral. What's wrong with that picture?!

And this at a time when Grace Mission's original vicar team was retiring... and a search was on to find a new person to lead them!

But, just like the founding of Grace, there are committed Episcopalians pitching in and doing what they can to make up that difference. On Saturday night, May 8th, jazz singer Pam Laws will lend her talent for "An Evening of Amazing Grace", a fundraiser put on by some of the folks from St. John's. The hope is to raise at least a third or so of the budget shortfall brought on by the withdrawal of St. Peter's support. Last I heard, ticket sales were going well, but there still are probably more, available through St. John's.

Of course, not everyone wants to or can possibly attend a soiree with alcohol, hors d'oeuvres and Pam Laws belting out gospel tunes. In that case, make your checks payable to: Grace Mission, and then send it to:

Grace Mission Episcopal Church

PO Box 10472

Tallahasseee, FL 32302

Any help will go along way toward helping them continue to be True Grace to a world in need.

Medical Updates

Word from the land of the Gators is that Terry's surgery went fine. A little too much excitement with a blockage at the "left branch bundle" of her heart. According to words flying about in emails, such a thing is NOT atypical and indicates a heart rhythm issue. She was kept at Shands overnight, and we're hoping she'll be released and on her way home soon.

Dona's mother Glo is also making a turn toward recovery, although has been in some pain from the operation and the after effects with nausea. The good news is that her kidneys are functioning well.

Keep the prayers going and the candles lit!

Prayer Request

Terry Galloway has shown up on this blog so often recently that I should probably give her her own category!

Today, though, I'm not talking about "Citizen Tay" who bravely defied the rules of politeness in a political forum to tell a homophobic County Commissioner to shut up. Today, I'm asking those of you reading who are believers in prayer to send one up for my friend as she undergoes a life-altering surgery at Shands Hospital in Gainesville.

Terry is getting a cochlear implant, the beginning of a new life with new ears. Her surgeon, Dr. Antonelli, has been doing cochlear implant surgeries since 1989. Wife Donna reports that all went well in the pre-op meeting, and the documentary film crew that is following Terry through this procedure got great interviews with him and others. If all goes according to plan, Terry, who is almost 60, will be able to hear for the first time since she was a toddler.

Understandably, Terry has been anxious about this surgery. Evidence of that is that she, the atheist who dismisses all religions equally, asked me if I'd pray for her. I said I would.

I also ask your prayers for Gloria, mother of my friend and fellow Faustkateer, Dona. Glo just had a 5-cm malignant tumor removed from her kidney. Word is that she made it through surgery, and is doing OK at the hospital. May she be restored to good health soon.

Heavenly Father, giver of life and health: Comfort and relieve Terry and Glo, and give your power of healing to all those who minister to their needs, that they may be strengthened in their weakness and have confidence in your loving care. Lord, hear my prayer, and shed your mercy and loving kindness upon us. All this I ask in your name. Amen.

Poor Proctor Needs Protection from Mean Little deaf Queer

I think Leon County Commissioner Bill Proctor must be feeling pretty miffed that someone upstaged him at the last County Commission meeting.

When my friend, Terry Galloway, stormed across the room shouting at Proctor that he should be ashamed of likening LGBT people to pedophile priests in the Roman Catholic Church... I think the Commissioner was shocked. His bullying tirade about "homosexual church people" had been interrupted. And worse for Proctor, people were applauding the five-foot-two deaf woman for her protest.

Realizing that the spotlight had moved off him, Proctor decided to do something to get himself back at center stage: write a letter to the Sheriff insisting that there be more security at the next public hearing on the Human Rights Ordinance, and--for the sake of safety--don't let that "allegedly deaf citizen" back in the chamber. Here's his letter, with my commentary:

Dear Sheriff Campbell:

I am requesting enhanced security for the Board of County Commission May 11 meeting. The Commission will hold a public hearing on whether to adopt an anti-discrimination policy against gays and lesbians.

Actually, the Commission will be holding a public hearing on whether to adopt a Human Rights Ordinance that would extend protections for currently listed classes... and ADD sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.

At our meeting on Tuesday (April 27, 2010), I suffered an uncivil reaction from an alleged deaf citizen who charged the dais toward me as I was speaking and the Commission was deliberating.

Terry is not an "alleged deaf citizen"; she is, in fact, deaf since she was a toddler. She did not "charge" the dais, but did leap from her seat and wagged her finger at Proctor as she crossed the room. True, Proctor was speaking... but the Commission wasn't deliberating. I think they were waiting for him to shut up.

Compliments to the two deputies posted in the chamber that evening. They escorted her out professionally.

True.


They reacted hastily and alertly to the emotional woman who was running toward me and shouting. I have never seen this occur at our meeting before. Her eyes were on fire. Her face appeared dangerous. I believe she would have fired at me if she had a weapon or thought to grab the deputy’s gun. You did not see her face and eyes, but I did.

Excuse me, but, bwahahahahahahaha! Yes, Terry was emotional. Yes, Terry was shouting. Her eyes on fire? Her face "dangerous"? She was no menace to him. She knew when the deputies approached her that she was going to be taken from the room. And she would not have been so stupid as to grab one of their guns and started shooting him. Can you say, "drama queen"?

I recognize there exist a broad horizon that people identify as reality and normalcy.

And you, Commissioner, live on a planet all of your own making!

Tuesday’s meeting further confirmed this recognition. Yet, we, nor county staff should have to sustain bodily injury from the public while discharging our responsibilities at an official County Commission meeting. The price of being a public servant should not include physical attacks. Given the context of the era we now live, I interpret angry charges toward me as having deadly potential. I don’t know what this deaf woman was hearing….maybe demons?

Again, Terry got nowhere near him and was of no threat to him, bodily or otherwise. As for what "this deaf woman was hearing..." well, I would agree Commissioner. As a hearing person, I believe what you were saying about me, her and the thousands of others like us was demonic!

Sadly, no one “who could hear” ran toward me or acted so uncivil.

Ahhh.... now we see what was really bothering him. He didn't want to have the deaf going after him; he wanted a hearing person. I will remember that next time, Commissioner.

Given the experience I had and the comments from others who saw the moment I respectfully request that citizens are searched for weapons and that additional deputies are posted for the next public hearing on the anti gay discrimination ordinance. Moreover, I request that this lady not be allowed into the chamber for the next meeting on this ordinance.

Because, dammit, it's all about ME... Bill Proctor... me, me, me!! How dare that deaf woman upstage me in my own theater!

It is interesting to note that Bill Proctor, an African-American, would call on the Sheriff to use intimidation such as metal detectors or searches or additional law enforcement to deal with us uppity gay folk. Does he not see the irony in that?

Oh, that's right. It's Bill Proctor, the allegedly sane County Commissioner.

What God Has Made Clean

"I was in the city of Jop'pa praying, and in a trance I saw a vision. There was something like a large sheet coming down from heaven, being lowered by its four corners; and it came close to me. As I looked at it closely I saw four-footed animals, beasts of prey, reptiles, and birds of the air. I also heard a voice saying to me, "Get up, Peter; kill and eat.' But I replied, "By no means, Lord; for nothing profane or unclean has ever entered my mouth.' But a second time the voice answered from heaven, "What God has made clean, you must not call profane.' This happened three times; then everything was pulled up again to heaven."--Acts 11: 5-10

This is among my favorite scenes in Acts. OK, I admit: I actually find almost everything in the Acts of the Apostles really cool. I am a big fan of the way things played out with Saul's conversion to being Paul. Phillip's "a-ha" when he encounters the eunuch on the road... that's a good one. And then there's this moment when Peter is trying to tell his fellow circumcised Jews how he reached the conclusion that the uncircumcised are worthy of inclusion in the family of God's chosen children.
Interesting to me is that Peter, in his argument with God, tries to say that he has never let anything profane or unclean enter his mouth. That statement, for me, recalls the passage in the Gospel of Mark, when the scribes and the Pharisees wanted to know where Jesus and his disciples get off eating food with "unclean hands". Jesus answers, "There is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile." According to Mark, this was Jesus' declaration that all foods were made clean. And once more, we see how little the disciples really understood Jesus until after he was no longer there with them.
In our Sunday readings, I saw this lesson as one piece to a bigger puzzle. Next came the words in Revelation, again starting with the proclamation of a "new heaven and a new earth":

"See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them as their God;
they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away."
And the one who was seated on the throne said,
"See, I am making all things new."
--Revelation 21: 3-5

I put these words together with that idea that what "God has made clean, you must not call profane." Because, for me, this statement in Revelation is the affirmation that God is not some absentee landlord, deadbeat dad, or far-away entity. God is with us... dwelling within us... and as God emerges from behind the curtains in our minds, and reveals God's self to us by whatever means necessary, then do we experience what it means to have things made new. I think this might have been a little of what Peter was going through with his vision. The veil pulled back, the sheet lowered with the various animals, Peter learns the lesson Jesus had hoped he had understood the first time in Mark's recounting of Jesus' actions. An action that I think gets summarized nicely in the Gospel reading from John:

I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." --John 13: 34-35


For Peter, that meant learning that this love... the agape type... needs to be extended beyond his own kind to include those who are "other". And Peter had to learn to see in those who are of the "other" variety the light of God that shines out through their eyes. Accepting this will lead to "things" in Peter's world becoming "new"... and the old earth and old heaven give way to the new.

Of course, the context, purpose and timing of the writing of Revelation lends itself to other understandings. Nonetheless, in light of all-things-gay being seen as a "threat" to some "christians" in my fair city, I found the timing of the readings prophetic. How can a person encounter these readings and not hear the call to all of us to stop labeling those who we don't like or don't agree with as the "unclean" of our society?

How dare anyone say they are Christians while referring to fellow members of the body of Christ as pedophiles. Is that the love that we were supposed to follow?

I don't think so.