The Crude Dudes Win Again

I'm not paid any more to go to the state Capitol and listen to the Florida legislature. And that's a good thing. Because it gives me the room to say what I really think of the governance of this state.

Citizens of Florida: you are being ruled by bought-and-paid-for bozos!

Ahhh... that's more like it! I was never allowed to say that as a paid member of the media, a reporter for Florida Public Radio which owed some of its existence to the kindness of state lawmakers funding a budget line for universities to continue having public radio and TV outlets. The money issue never influenced me directly. But the American journalistic ethic of "fair, objective, and accurate" reporting was really the thing that kept me from going off and landing gut punches in my reports. But today, on a day when I witnessed yet another round of infuriating b-s at our state Capitol, I am pleased that I can just say it: the Florida legislature sucks because the crude dudes rule the roost!

The goon squad was summoned to Tallahassee by Governor Charlie Crist to debate and place an amendment on the ballot to ban off-shore oil drilling in Florida's portion of the Gulf of Mexico. Governor Crist is saying he did this because he cares about the Gulf, which I am not doubting. But, let's face it: does it really hurt his attempt to woo support from some Democrats and moderate Republicans as he runs as an independent for U.S. Senator to join in the chant of "Let the people vote"?

The goon leaders, House Speaker Larry Cretal and Senate President Jeff Atwater, didn't want to come to Tallahassee in July. They didn't want to deal with the oil crisis. They complained that this special session was "rushed" and they didn't have time to consider the many issues caused by BP's Underwater Geyser. Actually, I think they are worried that if they put this on the ballot, it will get the necessary 60-percent of the vote, and former Secretary of State Jim Smith and his buddies, who all represent oil interests including BP, wouldn't have had time to work the system to their clients' advantage. "This should be dealt with during a regular session" the goons complained, "When we have more time and not do some knee-jerk reaction to a crisis." (Please see previous comment about lobbyist influence).

Just like the typical plays that I used to witness for a living as a reporter, today's floor debate in the House had a script. In the opening scene, the clerk reads the call issued by the Governor. Enter the House Speaker for Scene 2, where he acknowledges the call, says it's poppycock, puts out a new plan of action that will delay any real response from state lawmakers until after the primary election, and then calls on his henchman to offer the motion to adjourn 'Sine Die'. All those in favor of the Speaker scream, "Aye". Those in opposition shout, "No!". The Speaker declares his idea the winner and then.... Scene 3: Outrage and yelps from the minority party as they protest the Speaker's script. Quickly, five hands... and more... shoot up in the air. Another vote takes place, this time recorded for all to see on the big lighted vote board. And--aha!--the Speaker was right! But the opposition presses on and insists this motion to adjourn is one that should be debated, and we have Scene 4: the debate. Speech after speech. What the citizens want and don't want. Questioning of motivations, politics, taxpayer money wasted. And then the final scene of this One-Act play: the actual vote on the decision to adjourn and--quelle suprise-- it's a party-line vote to adjourn. Ta-da! One side wins, the other side grumbles. And the majority of the public doesn't have a clue what just happened.

My personal favorite argument for why lawmakers were against putting this question to the voters was the one about how off-shore oil drilling is already banned in Florida statues, so why do we need to put it in the Florida constitution? This is a really good point. It was the same argument I and many others made about the desire to ban gay marriage by constitutional amendment back in 2008. Why did we need to do that, when same-sex marriage was already illegal in FOUR places in Florida statutes? Funny, though, I don't recall the Florida Republican members of the state legislature actively campaigning against Amendment 2 in 2008. And I'm willing to bet most of them voted for Amendment 2 because "those people" were angling to challenge the statute in court and the skittish needed to know their sacred special marital rights were protected from "my kind" of pollution!

Now that our state legislature has failed to respond to the people, I'm wondering what else it will take to make the populace realize that they are not being led to a better future? And what is preventing the public from now turning our attention to other leaders, and people with means to get us out of our oily mess? Will the boards of trustees at the universities and the university presidents seek out partnerships within the scientific community and across geographic boundaries to find and fund research on new sources of energy? I think it's time to look toward the non-elected leaders among us to make some headway on long-term solutions.

Leave the bozos to play out their theater under the big top to the pleasure of the crude dudes.