Lord, Have Mercy Upon Us

Just as I was writing the other day about new life rising from the dead, my church community is facing a type of death in hopes of resurrection.

Word is out that our Rector is leaving. His last Sunday is April 18... a mere ten days away. This at a time when our Assisting Priest is starting a six-week leave of absence to take care of another parish in the diocese. The timing is odd, and leads one to wonder, What now?

St. John's was in the news in 2005 when the Rector at that time, a man who I simply refer to as Evil, announced from the pulpit that he'd had enough of the Episcopal Church... with its "homosexuals" (not to mention "women")... and he AND the vestry would be departing to start services at his newly-created Anglican church down the street. Anyone who didn't join him was against him and labeled "unorthodox". The bishop then brought in an interim, who in the middle of Lent 2008, imploded and gave up his holy orders. There was much pressure to quickly "find somebody", and we called in Fr. Lupton Abshire, who started shortly after Easter. Now, two years later, he is leaving... shortly after Easter.

We've also had the full-time Assistant Rector quit suddenly with no warning, and no real clear idea as to why he left. Probably the only departure from the priestly ranks that made any sense was when my mentor accepted the call to the parish that eventually made her the Rector. At least there, we had time to process and give her a proper good-bye.

The letters were apparently written this week, post-Easter, and went out to arrive in our mailboxes today. The explanation for why this breaking in our relationship is that we've reached a time when it's best for the Rector to leave. There is much talk about what he has done to get us through difficult budget times, and such. But from the way it is written, you'd think that the vestry, the bishop and the rector believed this whole time was just "interim". Now, we're ready for a "real" rector. I think a better explanation for this latest break-up is that St. John's still is looking for an identity post-Evil. The thing is our identity and vision comes from the collection of people who are there... both those who survived "the split" and those of us who returned once Evil left the building. Together, we are the Body of Christ... and... in fact... we are Christ's Body in 'the world' today. Our biggest obstacle is the perception that only the hands of that body can do and think and build up this body. Those who are feet, or toenails even, remain untapped.

We also have some who carry "the split" as their cross. They are in the loop that traps people who have been through trauma. As long as they link St. John's in any way to "the split" and make that our identity, then Evil continues to permeate the pores of the Body. Exorcism is an archiac practice. But from my work with people in the context of a massage therapy session, there are ways to release those demons that plague the body and aid the person to move forward and stop traveling the well-worn loop of trauma and pain.

Sad as this all is, I am trying not to give into despair. From death, resurrection does happen. I remember telling my mentor that part of this new leg in my faith journey is the understanding that my relationship with God has nothing to do with who is in the pulpit on a Sunday morning. But that person in the pulpit can aid in my journey, or can be the one trying to push me off the path. I hope that whoever takes over as interim and whoever accepts the call to this parish will be a person who recognizes that the Body of Christ that is St. John's does, indeed, have many members... and could stand to have a few more with energy and enthusiasm to live out our liturgy.

Fr. Abshire and St. John's might not have been a good fit for one another. I do wish him and his family well, wherever they are going from here. In the meantime, I ask your prayers for our congregation that this latest opening of the wound will finally receive the proper cleaning and bandaging and emotional release that will allow this body to heal from the woundedness inflicted by Evil... and become the downtown church God desires for us to be.