What is it about straight people that they get so uppity about the word "marriage"? Why is this so important to them that allowing other people access to the word is like peeing in their bathtub?
I blame the church for some of this. People associate "marriage" with "church steeple". I don't know when this practice began, but somewhere along the way, somebody must have seen a way to make an unholy alliance between church and state by allowing priests and ministers to sign off on marriage licenses. Signing the paperwork, and having it notarized, is what legally binds a couple in marriage which is really all the state cares about. The state doesn't care what color the bridesmaids dresses are. It doesn't care if there's a Eucharist at the wedding. It really doesn't care about the poetry of the vows. All the state wants is a signed and notarized piece of paper with the names of the happy couple... and $92.00. Thanks. Next...
The trouble is, the happy couple and all their friends and family believe that the priest or minister is instrumental to the marriage ceremony. And certainly, if there's going to be a wedding in a church, it helps to have a person of the cloth there to officiate. But the role of the priest or minister is to bless the marriage before God and God's people. Then, once all the pomp and circumstance is over, the priest or minister signs the certificate... thus satisfying the state requirement. And this is where I want to blow the whistle and scream, "Foul!"
I believe that by doing this final act... the church has now stepped into the role of the state. And, as long as the laws in places like Florida uphold discrimination against some couples, I don't think the church ought to be a party to that final act. Bless the marriages. Deliver a wise sermon on that famous 1 Corinthians passage about "Love". Sanctify this union, and then direct the couple to the appropriate state authority to get their papers signed!
Somehow, in some way, we have to be able to teach people that the "special word" is a synonym for a not-so-special word: "contract". That's what marriage is; a legal contract. As Judge Vaughn Walker noted in his ruling yesterday:
"Marriage is the state recognition and approval of a couple’s
choice to live with each other, to remain committed to one
another and to form a household based on their own feelings
about one another and to join in an economic partnership and
support one another and any dependents." Walker ruling in Perry v. Schwarzenegger, p.67
Why is this "For Heterosexuals Only"? It isn't. Where is God in this definition? I believe in a place beyond this definition, and not getting bogged down in the details of "economic partnership". I believe that God is interested only in how we love God and how we love our neighbor. And the genders of the couple at the altar is immaterial.
God is love and where true love is, God himself is there.
3 comments:
I agree!
I am not sure when the USA church took over the legal part of the 'contract'. In Germany marriage was a state action, that then could be blessed by clergy It makes sense to me, since it is only the government that deals with the legal breaking of that contract (divorce).
As usuao very well thought out and explained. I go along with Mother Phoebe as well.
Peggins
It's historic as in the Clergy were the Civil Service in the Middle Ages! But it is an anomaly for the clergy to act as registrars. In Scotland we are not but simply witness the fact that the couple completed all necessary formalities. The form is obtained by the couple from the Rigistrar and is returned by them to the Registrar.
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