Approaching Ash Wednesday

I have given up my palm cross that has been tucked in the corner of my car dashboard as a kind of good luck charm. It's off to be burned and made into ashes. So, if I get a speeding ticket during Lent, y'all will know why!

There was a bit of magic involved in having had that cross with me, beyond just superstitions about "good luck", like a rabbit's foot. In a way, it has served as an outward and visible sign of what is internal and invisible, known to me on one level... and God at many layers. And it's been in a place in my car where I will see it, and reflect upon it. One of the hallmarks of this journey I'm on has been the odd times of day and places where I find myself contemplating God and the way God has become ever-present. Red lights seem to be particularly good times for me to make connections between my observations of the world and how Scripture speaks to whatever it is that's happening, not in a factual way, but almost like a poetic commentary, and definitely not linear.

That's how I'm feeling as I approach Ash Wednesday. Whatever is stirring inside me seems to be poetic and non-linear. I was contemplating the imposition of ashes. Instead of retracing the cross made on our foreheads at baptism with oil, a priest will be reminding us that "you are dust and to dust you shall return" as the sign of the cross is made with the ash of the palm crosses. This is a moment when we've been conditioned to remember that we are going to die, we are lowly, we are sinners, etc. etc. All of these things are true. But there is another truth that seems to belie the tracing of the cross on our foreheads. We are being re-membered, even in our mortality, to Christ. The oil at baptism, which is invisible, now becomes a visible marker on us that we belong to this body of Christ's people. There can be no doubt of that.

As this rattled around in my head, it struck me that instead of seeing this as an imposition, this moment in the Ash Wednesday service is another anointing. Again, I'm being made whole and being brought closer to God through, in and with Christ. I may be dust, but that dust is imbued with a spirit. And that spirit has been sealed and marked as Christ's own forever... again. With this cross comes responsibility to live into the commandment to love God with all my heart, with all my strength and with all my mind. If I am following that, then it naturally flows to what Christ was giving as a new commandment in John's gospel: to love one another as I have loved you. When we see the light of God in everyone, and treat them with the love that God has shown us, we are bringing ourselves full circle to "loving God". This requires a surrendering of the Ego, that desire to see our selves only... separate and apart from all that is around us. It requires an understanding that while we may be great... we are made greater in God. We are made stronger in God. And we are made brighter in God.

John Lennon's "Instant Karma" has in the chorus, "Well we all shine on! Like the moon and the stars and the sun!" Maybe then we are really stardust. And perhaps this Lent, I am to realize that through this anointing and remembering in Christ, what may be weak and lowly is again revived through the power of the spirit.

Bless the Lord, all my soul
And all that is within me,
bless his Holy Name.

Amen.

Awake the State!

We came, we sang, we wore Groucho Marx noses!

The Mickee Faust Club was part of the evening Awake the State rally, singing a song I wrote ten years ago on the tune of "Anatevka" from "Fiddler on the Roof".

Tallahassee, Tallahassee

Underwaged, overworked Tallahassee

Where Jimbo Fisher is a star!

Tallahassee, Tallahassee;

Intimate, obstinate Tallahassee

Where no one ever goes too far.

Soon I'll be a number in the jobless line

Searching for all those old friends of mine

From Tallahassee...

I belong in Tallahassee!
Governor: Fuck* yourself! Tallahassee.

Dear little city, little town of mine.

*for the purposes of this performance, we blew a raspberry and flipped him the bird.

Our performance was met with laughter and applause. The noses, which we wore in an effort to protect those state employees in the troupe who are feeling particularly vulnerable at this time, added another layer of the message: folks are having to put on a mask in order to remain employed in this state government town.

A reporter from the Orlando Sentinel asked me why I was out protesting on this opening day of the state legislative session. And I told him the truth. I have friends who are scared, and clients in my massage practice who are anxious about their futures. I knew they were not going to be standing up for themselves, and since I can, I did. I gave up all my other activities I would have been doing today for the sole purpose of standing by the road, holding some signs and waving to motorists. And as I said in my earlier post, I did this with joy. My signs, seen here, were meant to evoke the ire of those who voted for the high-speed rail amendment nine years ago... and to call upon a hero to save us from the Dark Lord Voldemort who has bought himself a state.

One person remarked, "It's gonna take more than Harry Potter to save us!"

True.

Pancakes and a Protest

pancakes brokencountry.com

I've been jamming this morning to Wardell and His Slammin' Big Band, JB's Zydeco Zoo and a little Celia Cruz. It's Mardi Gras Day. Time to enjoy the party of life before we recognize all good parties come to an end with Ash Wednesday.



Yes, I will be eating pancakes for dinner. This is a must in the ritual of the day. All good Episcopalians know that for Shrove Tuesday, you eat something sweet and fattening like pancakes. And for those who plan to give up some vice or another for Lent, be it chocolate or alcohol: better get in that last one before tomorrow. :)



With my pancakes this year, I will be engaging in a protest. You might say this is my act of standing up to the man who believes himself to be a new Roman emperor, namely our Governor. I've been hearing too many tales from clients and friends about the way this administration is randomly off-ing people and whole bureaus. Folks who are serving in federally-mandated jobs are being told to pack up the things in their offices: their services will no longer be necessary because apparently Governor Lord Voldemort doesn't care what the muggles in Washington, DC say. Well, clearly he doesn't since he also told the Obama administration that Florida has no need of the billion+ dollars prior Governors and lawmakers worked to obtain to build a high-speed rail in this state. The New York Times reports that the Dark Lord is at odds with the Death Eaters in the legislature. Wonder if any of them will cross ideological party lines and join our protest? Doubtful, but one can always hope that they might do it in a more meaningful way by not simply doing as the Governor wants. Trouble is in Florida, when you start looking to the Florida legislature to be the saving grace... you're in biiiiggg trouble.



My spiritual director and I were talking about the state of affairs in Florida and elsewhere. I agree that God is holding all of this in a way that God can contain the crazies, the cunning, and the champions in the same stewpot. Because of this, the trust can't be placed in the hands of the rulers, but in the hands (heart, head, mercy) of God that "all will be well."



In the meantime, today is the day that I must figuratively unsheathe the sword and stand with my fellow Tallahasseeans who are in fear and feeling more demoralized than I have seen them before. And I plan to do it with the party spirit of Mardi Gras because no governor, no state legislature, no state supreme court can rob me of the joy of life. That's truly a God-given gift and it's mine to share.



So pile on the pancakes and make me fat for a fight. Tomorrow I will repent and remember that in the end, I'm just dust.

Transfiguration

Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white...

As I listened to this passage being read today at St. John's, I had a flash of another one of those "A-ha's" Earlier, we had heard about Moses going up the mountain, into the cloud, where he would spend forty days and forty nights in an ongoing lecture from God. At some point, in the return to his people, Moses' face will shine so brightly that the Israelites are afraid, and he has to wear a veil.

This would seem to be that same incredible light that is transforming and transfiguring Jesus. God has come in such close contact with him... joining him with Moses (the Law) and Elijah (the Prophets) on either side... that he is burning as bright as the sun. If Jesus, the man, hadn't realized who he was before, there can be no doubt of who he is in this moment. And from here, Jesus launches into his ultimate purpose to bring a new way of being to an oppressed, hurting, and struggling world.

This, I believe, is still happening amongst us today in the 21st century.

It may not happen in the same way as with Jesus. We aren't likely to take our closest associates with us to a mountain top to be greeted by a thunderous, booming voice announcing that "We are God's beloved with whom God is well pleased. Listen to us!" Still, I think God has the power and the ability, and definitely the will, to transfigure those of us who are willing to give our selves over to this Love.

Note: I separated "ourselves" into "our selves". This is an important distinction. Because I believe the only way to allow for the transfiguration to happen is to give up the self, the ego, to something larger. Ego... the "me, me, me" and the thinking that we have some kind of control, is one of the biggest barriers we have to God. The focus on "me" and the amount of time spent thinking about "me" blocks the way to God. And the ego seems to love to "think" about all kinds of things. In the thinking, it also gets to feel as if it's in control. But, in my own experience, the more I get caught up in my thoughts, the more I try to control and force things to bend to my will, the more likely I am to move away from Love. And the further I move from Love, the more anxious I get. Depression and despondency soon follow suit. And my light grows dim.

When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Get up and do not be afraid."

The brighter we become, the more others will look at us oddly, and perhaps even be a little afraid in the same way that the Israelites needed Moses to veil his face because he was just too bright and shiny for them. But becoming brighter is what I believe God is intending for all of us, and especially those who are truly seeking God and a deeper knowledge of God. We're to let our light shine and illuminate those places where it's dark. And we are to lead, even if it means taking our own cautious steps toward a showdown in our own version of Jerusalem. That's coming this week as the Florida legislature gathers and our Governor turns the screws on state agencies and employees. Those of us who have worked in "the system", and are no longer bound by it, understand the rampant fear and desire to lay low and hope to survive. This is why I am willing to take a stand for those too afraid at this moment to do so, while encouraging those who are fearful, but willing, to stand with me and others. The light of Love will transform us and make us brighter than those who would rather see us stay in darkness.

Shine on! Shine on! Shine on!

The Lenten Lesson

As always, our dear Bishop Yellowbelly finds himself locking horns over the Anglican Covenant. This time, it's with Ms. Trenchmacher, just your every day lay leader who has been with the church for several decades. She is questioning the proposed study guide for Lent. He is questioning her intelligence... and her heritage. And the beat goes on...

As I've said, I will not be studying the Anglican Covenant as a Lenten discipline. Although it would be a kind of penance to do that, wouldn't it?

Marked

I have this stained glass ornament in the window at my office. Every so often, particularly in the late afternoon, the sun hits the glass just right to send streaks of blue, red and yellow across my table onto the opposite wall.
Yesterday, as I was working on an older client, I noticed the light from the ornament was hitting me in the chest at my heart. And I thought, "I've been marked!"
Marked, in this instance, in a moment of communion, and sharing in a connection that is God-like. At that particular moment, I was reaching this client in a place that was necessary for her. It was the true sense of meeting somebody where they are at, and I was being "marked" in the moment.
This was happening in the context of my massage practice, but it makes me reflect on how important it is to have such shared time with all people. I think the cashiers and baggers at Publix deserve this same intention of meeting them in the eyes. Ever since that was first brought to my attention in massage school (I believe it was in the second week of classes), I have been aware of the person checking out my groceries over the scanner, and the young teen or older retiree dilligently putting my food into bags. Sometimes it's easy to overlook them, especially when other things are more pressing on the mind. But no person should be seen as expendable. And meeting them in the eyes with a "Thank you!" may be all that's necessary to make them feel as if somebody noticed they existed.
May we all have more moments where we are marked and reminded of the communion we share with the many people we come across in the course of a day.

Prayers of Grief and Gratefulness

I'm sad this evening. Earlier today, I learned that the father of one of my childhood friends passed away a few weeks ago. His obituary didn't land in the local Exeter paper until today, and his funeral is set for next week. It seems Jerry died in his sleep. A good way to go, but it now leaves my friend Leonita fatherless and motherless. Her mom, Ellen, of whom I wrote about on this blog, died last September. Perhaps Jerry's heart was too broken from the loss of his soulmate that he decided to follow after her. It's hard to say, but that certainly would not be far-fetched.
While going to the funeral home site to put up a note to the family, I learned of the death of another person from my childhood. Rosemary Coffin, who I remembered as the lady with the British accent at our church, died last week. Her memorial service is set for this coming Saturday. I shared that news with the Anonymous Peggins who will be home in time for it. Rosemary, besides having a British accent, stands out in my memory because she started Seacoast Hospice in 1978. I remembered hearing about that, and as a ten year-old, being very impressed with the concept. It would be almost three decades later, dealing with my dad's death and the decline of other people, that I experienced first-hand the compassion and wisdom of Hospice care. It gave me a whole new sense of how special Rosemary was for seeing the need, and working to start such a helpful program in my hometown.
And then there was the news that Reverend Peter J. Gomes, a rarity of black, gay, Republican and Harvard Professor who was dubbed "the Bishop of Harvard" by Massachusetts Bishop M. Thomas Shaw, had died of complications from a stroke suffered last December. He was 68. I never knew him, but I have seen him interviewed and he had a commanding presence, and a matter-of-fact way of basically saying, "God made me and I'm gay. Next question?" He came out as a gay man in the 1990s when a conservative publication at Harvard put out a gay-bashing issue that caused an uproar on campus.

"I do not know when the quality of life has been more violated," he told a crowd of about 100 as he stood on the steps of Memorial Church, setting off sustained applause when he added, "I am a Christian who happens as well to be gay. ... Those realities, which are unreconcilable to some, are reconciled in me by a loving God."
I could not say it better myself. And the fact that he did say it with the possibility that it could have injured his career shows that he had the strength and courage which comes through God to do what is right. We need more of that in the world!

I pray for the repose of all three of these souls, and give thanks for their presence in the life of the world, and of me. personally. May light perpetual shine upon them as they enter into eternal rest.