Epiphany: It Keeps Getting Better

"Nations shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn."--Is. 60:3

January 6th, the Feast of the Epiphany, has a special sobering spot in my heart. While the Church celebrates this day as the arrival of the three wise men, and the revelation of Jesus to these outsiders from the East who give him gold, frankincense and myrrh, it is the day that I came close to snuffing out the light of Christ in me. Strange to think that of all the days, this is the one where God made an intervention through a school chaplain and kept me from doing something truly stupid.

Lots of teenagers, gay and straight, find themselves in that dark place where they believe that there is no hope and no reason to continue in what seems like a miserable existence. Too many don't have a chaplain, or some other trusted adult, who will be there to throw them the life ring when they feel themselves drifting away into the sea of nothingness and despair. But for those of us who did have that, we stand today as the testament to the truth: living is worth it because it not only gets better; it keeps getting better.

I had a wonderful illustration of that this Christmas season. On the winter solstice, I take the day off to spend it out by the smoker stoking the fire for a brisket which I share with friends to celebrate the beginning of winter. Since I had the day off, I decided to take my car, which had been acting up, into the shop. Turns out my problem was a tire that was about to separate. The guy at the shop could replace the tires (I bought two), but the man who did alignments was off. "Go ahead and do the tires," I said. "I'll save up my money for the alignment later." Then, there was a power outage which affected not only the shop, but me as well. When the power came on, something went wrong with my oven. It was busted. Good thing the main course was out on the grill! But sides would have to be taken across the street to a neighbor's oven.

The day before Christmas Eve, my partner asked me to loan her some money for her trip home to her mom. I went to my bank, and learned that they had put a hold on almost all the money in my business account. I was able to withdraw money from my savings, but still, I couldn't access any of my money until the Monday after Christmas?! I then tried to get the money exchanged for Euros. After going to bank number three, I learned that nobody in Tallahassee has Euros on site to do an exchange and I would need to get it done at an international airport. So, I went home, still steamed about my own bank freezing my assets for no reason, and frustrated with the others who couldn't do this transaction. I was in a foul mood, and "Merry Christmas" was the last thing on my mind.

As I walked in my house, I saw a car pull in the driveway.

"Go away!!!" I thought.

It was my old landlord. He'd noticed the paint on our trim was looking pretty ugly.

"I want to give you guys a Christmas gift," he said. "I have somebody who is unemployed and I want to hire him to paint your house." I stammered in amazement. Really?? This man's politics and mine are not at odds, but we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things involving the city and county commission. And yet he was giving us this gift because he knew we needed help.

The next day, when I dropped my partner off at the airport for her trip home to France, I realized I had stayed long enough that I'd have to pay a fee to leave. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the crumpled dollars I had, the lady at the gate told me not to bother.

"Don't worry, ma'am. She's paying for you."

What? I looked where the woman was pointing and in the next booth area was a PFLAG mom.

"Seriously?" I said, smiling and waving to her. "You're really paying for me?"

Yes, she nodded. "Merry Christmas!"

On Christmas was my third stroke of luck. My friends, being aware of the health issues my partner and I have been having and our need to eat healthier, bought us a Vitamix, the ultimate blender, chopper, food processor, make-your-healthy-living-lifestyle-easier machine. I started to cry. I had been wanting one of these for months, but I knew it would require saving every dime and nickel we had because they are expensive. I felt the love. I felt the appreciation. And suddenly it felt as though the boomerang was coming back round to me. The efforts that both me and my partner have put forth for others, the support we have given, the love we have shared, showing up in this life and not just coasting through it: all of it was now getting rewarded in ways that were helpful, meaningful, and wonderful signs that we do matter to people.

Epiphany is the day that magi arrived with gifts. This Epiphany I have received the gift of knowing that being here and giving of myself has tremendous rewards in return. A gift that would have been lost on January 6, 1984. My dawn is brighter. Thanks be to God.