St. Aelred, Patron Saint of Queers

Almighty God, you endowed the abbot Aelred with the gift of Christian friendship and the wisdom to lead others in the way of holiness: Grant to your people that same spirit of mutual affection, that, in loving one another, we may know the love of Christ and rejoice in the gift of your eternal goodness; through the same Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

This collect is "nice", but it also doesn't get to the heart of Saint Aelred. The abbot of Rievaulx was a gay man who never shied away from his same-sex attractions and instead found in them the glory of God, and the true friendship that inspired his writings. When I read about Aelred, I see a man for whom love was both the intangible grace of God, and the tangible human contact of his brothers at Rievaulx. He celebrated a "true friendship" as it was termed with a monk named Simon. Upon Simon's death, Aelred wrote:
"He was the refuge of my spirit, the sweet solace of my griefs, whose heart of love received me when fatigued by labors, whose counsel refreshed me when plunged in sadness and grief... What more is there, then, that I can say? Was it not a foretaste of blessedness thus to love and thus to be loved?"

Aelred was born in Hexham, Northumberland in the 12th century. He was invited into the court of King David of Scotland where he distinguished himself as one who could remain cool and calm in the face of insults and anger. He joined the Cistercian order in Rievaulx in 1134 when he was 24 years old. He became an abbot at the monastery in 1147, and would die there of kidney failure at age 57. He wrote two major works, The Mirror of Charity, which was the basis of his approach to all people and things. He believed charity was the love God commanded us to live. His later work, Spiritual Friendship, deepened that discussion by looking at the various kinds of friendships. Aelred believed that developing a "true friendship" with others, even of the same gender, was a very Christian thing to do. He noted that Jesus loved the disciple, John, as well as Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. So to develop an intimacy was OK, and should not be taboo... even for monastics.
Integrity USA, the LGBT group within the Episcopal Church, has adopted St. Aelred as their patron saint, and I understand why. For one thing, it shows that prior to the 13th century and crusades and such, to be gay and in the church was not a big deal. There was nothing to hide, and everything to celebrate as a joyous gift from God. And as I look at St. Aelred and his abilities to be forgiving even of those who insult him in that Christ-like way, it says to me that gay people can be great teachers to all members of the Church. How often have we been slammed by our fellow Christians, and still we remain standing? Because we know that we are "of God", and we if we know that love of Christ for us in ourselves, we can seek it more in the eyes of another. And in that seeking, we don't diminish our own love, but offer it up to other people. Again, charity.
As I study Year Three of EfM, I'll have to go back through my materials to see if there is any mention of Aelred of Rievaulx. I somehow doubt it. St. Anselm, St. Bonaventure, Thomas Aquinas... but no Aelred. Pity.
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source material:
Saint Aelred the Queer: The Surprising History of Homosexuality and Homophobia
Aelred of Rievaulx by James Kiefer at satucket.com/lectionary
Novena in Honor of St. Aelred