Who Do You Say I Am?

I've been engaging in an exercise for my Education for Ministry group that involves mapping my theology. This is no small task, and it is taking a couple weeks to work through the various combinations (God the Father in Creation, God the Son in Creation, etc. etc.) Time consuming and thought-provoking are two descriptions I'd give for the exercise. And at the center of it all is the question that I think we, especially the followers of Christ, must answer:

"Who Do You Say I Am?"

This is the question Jesus put to the disciples. At first, the query was about the people: what are they saying about me. The disciples were quick to answer. "Oh, well, some think you're John the Baptist, and then there's that group we heard speculating that you might be Elijah." Everything was an easy answer when it was what other people were saying. But then Jesus makes the question personal. "OK, boys, now that you've heard what everybody else has been saying, what do you think? Who do you say that I am?"

Gulp! Ummm... (fidget, fidget, shift from one foot to the other, stare at toes, blink, blink, blink).

And up pipes Simon Peter, the eager beaver in the group, with the answer:

‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’ And Jesus answered him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.’--Matthew 16:16-19

Today we celebrate that moment when St. Peter confessed that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of the living God. But when I look at the accounts of Peter's understanding of this mystery across the gospels, I wonder if he really understood all that Jesus was telling him... and if Peter really knew what those words meant when they sprang forth from his mouth.

My sense is that he did get it... sort of. At least he got the base understanding. But his knowledge of who Jesus Christ was was still incomplete. There was much more that he would have to learn because there was much more to be revealed. We see that in the Acts of the Apostles. Peter, who hung his head in shame when he realized he had betrayed the Messiah to the authorities, is now standing before the elders and speaking with conviction and eloquence in confessing Christ to those who not only don't believe, but wish he and the others would go away. It is only in time, God's time, that Peter reaches this new understanding and firmness in his faith.

This is true even of us. We say the creed. We acknowledge day after day, week after week, year in an year out, that Jesus Christ became incarnate through the Virgin Mary and was made man for us and for our salvation. That he suffered, was crucified, died and was buried and rose again on the third day and ascended into Heaven. Hallelujah! But how deeply into the marrow of our bones do we believe all that? Do we have a full comprehension of this lamb that takes away the sin of the world? Maybe. Perhaps fleeting moments. This, it seems to me, is where the rubber meets the road in the faith journey. In my experience, I seem to have one level of understanding of this mystery... only to discover there are several more levels that will be revealed in due time. God's time.

As I continue plugging away at the EfM assignment, I realize with delight that all the words I'm finding today for my theology are just today's words. Who knows what will ping me in the forehead tomorrow or the next day as I try to explain my comprehension of God. I can only hope that, like St. Peter, I get it at the base level. How much more I will "get it" is up to my willingness to travel and remain open to the revelation.