And This is Why I Keep Coming Back

I suppose it is hard for some of my friends, or even some of you reading, to understand why I remain with Christianity or the Episcopal Church in light of some of the recent events.

Perhaps this Psalm...Psalm 70 which is the one we used at St. John's this morning...can give you some insight. For your benefit, I will give a play-by-play of my internal and external response to these words. The refrain is below...for those who want to sing along...

1Be pleased, O God, to deliver me;

O Lord, make haste to help me!

2Let those who seek my life be ashamed
and altogther dismayed;.Let those

who take pleasure in my misfortune
draw back and be disgraced.

(Sing refrain...and reach for the hankerchief in left pocket as tears form in eyes).

3Let those who say, ‘Aha!’ and gloat over me

turn back because of their shame.

(Reflect on Yes2Marriage group's news release, and sob as if at a funeral)

4Let all who seek you

rejoice and be glad in you.

Let those who love your salvation

say evermore, ‘Great is the Lord!’

(Sing refrain, while wiping tears from eyes)

5But I am poor and needy;

come to me speedily,

(Nod in agreement. Tears are stopping)

6 O God! You are my help and my deliverer;

O Lord, do not tarry!

(Sing refrain with sense of calm and peace of soul).

Et voila! God continues to send the message that God remains with me until the end of the age.

Trust me, the reason I stay is because I belong. And it really doesn't matter two bits what any person thinks, or says, or tries to impose on me and call it the will of God. Because none of us really knows God's will. We just try our best to decipher it. And while those who are "Gloating in the name of God" today like to call upon the same old seven passages in the Bible that they say condemn me to Hell, I will tell you there are hundreds and hundreds of verses in Scripture that communicate an enormous love that is for me. For example, the above Psalm...which was almost like receiving a telegraph from the unseen God who knows all too well that I have been feeling pretty crappy since Tuesday night, and knew what I needed to see on this Sunday.

I have been in mourning. And now I want to be in motion. I want to fight back. And I look to God for the wisdom to know how to do it with love, strength and courage.