I'm still a bit numb from this election. And none too pleased that no matter how much I want to be part of the exuberance about Barack Obama's election, truthfully, I don't care. Because, in Florida, I am not free. I feel a little bit like a woman who's lover has taken her out on the town in the Big Apple and dumped her on New Year's Eve in Times Square. While the streamers and confetti fall and people blow party horns all around me and cheer, I am feeling like crap, like an island in a vast ocean.
This has been very hard. Wednesday, I couldn't look people in the eye because it was too painful, and I was crying all day long. Today, I am moving from tears to anger and bitter rage at the injustice of these actions. I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I will enter into calmness and preparation for decisive action.
As I said in a previous post, Amendment Two in Florida was not so much about outlawing gay marriage because gay marriage was already illegal here. But what was really happening with this vote was the straight majority was being allowed to decide if they wanted to treat me and my brothers and sisters the same, or differently, in the state constitution. The Marriage Amendment was the vehicle that was taking us down a road...either to fairness and equality for all, or the dead end of discrimination. We know which path we've been put on now.
One could rant and rave about the conservative Republicans who were big backers of this proposal. But, given that Florida did aid in Barack Obama's election, it is clear that a number of Democrats, and very probably church-going African-Americans, voted Yes on Amendment Two. Baptists, Roman Catholics, Evangelicals all heard sermons, or many of them did, from pastors who told them that in America everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. And certainly, everyone needs to be terrified of gay people because they are the scariest people on earth, always wanting to be treated fairly and with respect. The horror!
The fact that Democrats could vote for this Amendment is disturbing. I thought you guys were the "good guys"? More devastating is the thought that African-Americans, who know what it's like to be kept down by the majority, would turn around and stick it to the gay community? How wrong! How prejudiced! How utterly human!
In the end, what I know is true about the vote is this: people will betray people. And I can't put faith in people to do the right thing even if I believe they have the right politics. Because I have experienced this disappointment before, and this time I have felt it most acutely. People fall short of the mark...all the time. God, on the other hand, remains constant. And God knows I am crying out for justice in this unjust, screwed up, messed up, prejudiced world.